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Dirty trick?

(89 Posts)
Framilode Mon 01-Apr-19 15:57:26

We are just at the start of the process of buying a holiday home in Spain. A very good friend is also buying one on the same small complex and is due to complete on Wednesday.

Out of courtesy, and because I thought she would be pleased, I told her that we are also buying. She has either been told or found out the particular house we want and now wants to have ours instead of the original one she is buying. This could be done by her solicitor before she goes to the notary on Wednesday. The house we are buying was not available when she set off on this path. It had been sold to someone else who later pulled out.

We only want this one house and will pull out altogether if she takes it off us.

I think it is a rotten trick and a sort of gazumping. We have always been there for her and helped her a lot both practically and emotionally over the years.

AIBU to think she is behaving badly? I am due to go and stay with her next month but will cancel the trip and also our friendship if she does this.

What do others think?

B9exchange Mon 01-Apr-19 23:11:48

I certainly wouldn't want some one so completely selfish as a friend, and I wouldn't want her living on the same complex either. If you fall out over this, which obviously you are going to then would you really want to keep bumping into her?

SpringyChicken Mon 01-Apr-19 23:28:47

A 'very good friend' wouldn't behave like that.

Bagatelle Mon 01-Apr-19 23:30:01

OK, if that's how it is then I'd certainly cancel the purchase and convey my thoughts to the 'friend'.

Find another holiday home where you won't keep bumping into her.

Anja Tue 02-Apr-19 07:37:08

Suggest you contact the seller of this house and explain the situation and that she has reneged on another house at the last minute. They might be genuine enough to stick with you.

Whatever happens this friendship is dead. Just goes to show you can’t trust people.

BlueBelle Tue 02-Apr-19 08:06:55

Personally I d buy a house in a totally different area (as far away as possible) From your second post it sounds as if you both wanted the same house without realising the other did
Do you really want to live on the same complex as this lady even if you get the house you want I would think any friendship from either side is now out the window and would make it very strained and difficult if you were to meet up at social dos or even nearby shops
I think I d start all over again and not include her in any new plans

M0nica Tue 02-Apr-19 08:10:10

If you lived on the same complex would you trust what she might be saying about you and was doing behind your back?

She would probably do everything to make your experience of living there as unpleasant as possible - while all the time being as nice as pie to your face.

DanniRae Tue 02-Apr-19 08:16:25

If you are in the process of buying the house how can she swoop in and get it? I don't understand? confused

Willow10 Tue 02-Apr-19 08:20:09

Sounds like both the property and the friendship is doomed, for you at least. You must be very upset and disappointed. She has shown her true colours as a 'friend'. Even if you got it, would you be happy there now, with her so close? Take things into your own hands and find a different place well away from her. And make sure you let her know why. Good luck.

Oldwoman70 Tue 02-Apr-19 08:42:19

If she knew you were buying this property then she is certainly not a good friend.

A friend and I are both planning to downsize, I went with her to view a property she is interested in - I fell in love with it! However, she also loves it and has put in an offer - there is no way I would now try to buy it, our friendship means more to me.

knspol Tue 02-Apr-19 10:32:21

Whatever happens re the house it seems to me that she's not a true friend and I would have nothing more to do with her. I hope you get the house you want, enjoy it and forget the unpleasantness.

Dianic Tue 02-Apr-19 10:42:56

Don't buy that house any more. Your "friend" is pure poison. It's hard enough making friends and living amicably in Spain without being near someone like her... If there's a community there and she's around more than you, you might find all sorts of lies and untruths have been spread about you - worst case scenario.Look at it as a silver lining... she may have saved you a lot of money and considerable heartache.

Larsonsmum Tue 02-Apr-19 10:43:50

I used to have 'friends' like that. Note that I say 'used to'.

She is most definitely not a 'very good friend' as you began by describing her as.

I cannot imagine why on earth you'd want to spend time with this woman - pull out and buy elsewhere well away from anywhere you might have the misfortune to encounter her.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Tue 02-Apr-19 10:48:25

Your friend says that it is 'just a holiday home' but it isn't, is it? It has become a symbol of your friendship, which she has thrown away.
It sounds a bit like a child wanting to play with a particular toy just because another child has it.
A proper friend doesn't behave like that.
I hate confrontation but I think you need to distance yourself from her for many of the reasons given here.

Pippa22 Tue 02-Apr-19 10:49:19

I cannot understand why you would choose to buy a holiday home on the same complex as your friend. You say it is a small complex so even worse. Is your friend annoyed that you are following her when there are so many other places you could have chosen to buy.
Personally if I had chosen a property abroad to buy and then found that my friend was copying me I would not be happy. Do you usually copy what she does ?

ReadyMeals Tue 02-Apr-19 10:53:01

That's not a friend, it's a rival!

Annaram1 Tue 02-Apr-19 10:53:16

Your so-called friend is a pig. Forget her. There are millions of properties for sale in Spain. I am sure you can find one to your liking elsewhere, maybe even in a better location.
All the best.

Pippa22 Tue 02-Apr-19 10:53:23

Just an afterthought, is it wise to be buying a property in Europe during such turbulent times ? What if the Spanish decide that they don’t want Brits buying property in their country ? Do you have any guarantees regarding your status post Brexit ?

keffie Tue 02-Apr-19 10:57:08

With friends like that you dont need enemies. Get shut whether she goes for it or not. She is no friend. That is appalling

25Avalon Tue 02-Apr-19 10:58:57

This woman has not got an ounce of integrity. As everyone says she is no friend. Never was and never will be. I think you should make it plain to her that she is behaving in a despicable manner and if she continues to do so then you will want nothing more to do with the kind of person she evidently is.

Fennel Tue 02-Apr-19 11:03:33

What stage have you got to in the purchase? Have you signed anything, or paid a deposit?
I think house purchase in Spain is similar to that in France, and if you've formally agreed to buy, and the seller has agreed to sell at that price then it's difficult for either to back out.

Annaram1 Tue 02-Apr-19 11:04:13

Every single post tells you to forget this woman. No true friend would ever do this sort of thing. Do not go and stay with her. You will only be unhappy.

Theoddbird Tue 02-Apr-19 11:04:13

I don't think I would ever trust her again. I would be looking for somewhere else and leave her to it.

Pat1949 Tue 02-Apr-19 11:06:42

I would certainly take her off my Christmas card list, a true friend wouldn't.

sazz1 Tue 02-Apr-19 11:14:26

My sister's 'best friend' went to see a council exchange house with her. My sister told her she was going to go ahead with the exchange when she returned fron a week's holiday. While she was away her 'best friend' had the people view her home and agreed to exchange with her instead. Sister was gutted and never spoke to her since. People like this are not friends.

ReadyMeals Tue 02-Apr-19 11:23:50

If that was me I'd let her have that house and not bother buying at all. You'd not want to find yourself on holiday with her in the same "small complex" would you. Wait a year and then reassess whether you want a holiday home in spain, and where. I get the impression you were only choosing that place because you thought it would be nice to holiday near your friend. But it won't be - only one of you can have that particular unit and the other will always be peeved about it.