We are just at the start of the process of buying a holiday home in Spain. A very good friend is also buying one on the same small complex and is due to complete on Wednesday.
Out of courtesy, and because I thought she would be pleased, I told her that we are also buying. She has either been told or found out the particular house we want and now wants to have ours instead of the original one she is buying. This could be done by her solicitor before she goes to the notary on Wednesday. The house we are buying was not available when she set off on this path. It had been sold to someone else who later pulled out.
We only want this one house and will pull out altogether if she takes it off us.
I think it is a rotten trick and a sort of gazumping. We have always been there for her and helped her a lot both practically and emotionally over the years.
AIBU to think she is behaving badly? I am due to go and stay with her next month but will cancel the trip and also our friendship if she does this.
I certainly wouldn't want some one so completely selfish as a friend, and I wouldn't want her living on the same complex either. If you fall out over this, which obviously you are going to then would you really want to keep bumping into her?
Personally I d buy a house in a totally different area (as far away as possible) From your second post it sounds as if you both wanted the same house without realising the other did Do you really want to live on the same complex as this lady even if you get the house you want I would think any friendship from either side is now out the window and would make it very strained and difficult if you were to meet up at social dos or even nearby shops I think I d start all over again and not include her in any new plans
Sounds like both the property and the friendship is doomed, for you at least. You must be very upset and disappointed. She has shown her true colours as a 'friend'. Even if you got it, would you be happy there now, with her so close? Take things into your own hands and find a different place well away from her. And make sure you let her know why. Good luck.
If she knew you were buying this property then she is certainly not a good friend.
A friend and I are both planning to downsize, I went with her to view a property she is interested in - I fell in love with it! However, she also loves it and has put in an offer - there is no way I would now try to buy it, our friendship means more to me.
Don't buy that house any more. Your "friend" is pure poison. It's hard enough making friends and living amicably in Spain without being near someone like her... If there's a community there and she's around more than you, you might find all sorts of lies and untruths have been spread about you - worst case scenario.Look at it as a silver lining... she may have saved you a lot of money and considerable heartache.
Your friend says that it is 'just a holiday home' but it isn't, is it? It has become a symbol of your friendship, which she has thrown away. It sounds a bit like a child wanting to play with a particular toy just because another child has it. A proper friend doesn't behave like that. I hate confrontation but I think you need to distance yourself from her for many of the reasons given here.
I cannot understand why you would choose to buy a holiday home on the same complex as your friend. You say it is a small complex so even worse. Is your friend annoyed that you are following her when there are so many other places you could have chosen to buy. Personally if I had chosen a property abroad to buy and then found that my friend was copying me I would not be happy. Do you usually copy what she does ?
Just an afterthought, is it wise to be buying a property in Europe during such turbulent times ? What if the Spanish decide that they don’t want Brits buying property in their country ? Do you have any guarantees regarding your status post Brexit ?
This woman has not got an ounce of integrity. As everyone says she is no friend. Never was and never will be. I think you should make it plain to her that she is behaving in a despicable manner and if she continues to do so then you will want nothing more to do with the kind of person she evidently is.
What stage have you got to in the purchase? Have you signed anything, or paid a deposit? I think house purchase in Spain is similar to that in France, and if you've formally agreed to buy, and the seller has agreed to sell at that price then it's difficult for either to back out.
My sister's 'best friend' went to see a council exchange house with her. My sister told her she was going to go ahead with the exchange when she returned fron a week's holiday. While she was away her 'best friend' had the people view her home and agreed to exchange with her instead. Sister was gutted and never spoke to her since. People like this are not friends.
If that was me I'd let her have that house and not bother buying at all. You'd not want to find yourself on holiday with her in the same "small complex" would you. Wait a year and then reassess whether you want a holiday home in spain, and where. I get the impression you were only choosing that place because you thought it would be nice to holiday near your friend. But it won't be - only one of you can have that particular unit and the other will always be peeved about it.