Dirty trick?

As the thread started on April 1st, it isn't an April Fool wind-up, is it? On the part of the 'friend', I mean?

Your 'very good friend's' action is a game changer, a line drawn that signifies the point you can identify as being the reason for the demise of your friendship.

Whatever happens, you can never go back to the relationship you had before, can never unknow what you have found out about her character, can never forget that she is ultimately willing to sacrifice your friendship over this issue.

Even if you make the position clear before the sale goes through, as others have suggested, this friendship is now realistically dead in the water.

Either YOU will have the house she originally wanted (but which wasn't on the market when she started looking) and she will be forever resentful that it belongs to you or SHE will have the house you want and you will be forever resentful that it belongs to her.

My advice, for what it's worth, is to look somewhere else as this house is a poisoned chalice that comes (to whoever ends up buying it) with a price tag that includes the loss of a friendship. It will probably never now be the dream holiday home either of you once hoped for as it comes with too much collateral damage, it's just a very sad situation.

Framilode. I disapprove of foul language but I'd still like to use it to describe this so-called friend! (I will spare you all though!)

She is egregiously, disgustingly immoral, unscrupulous, selfish and very nasty!

What a good thing you found out before you bought a house abroad near her, where she might have done very nasty things to you!

I am so very sorry you are going through this awful shock and terrible disappointment.

I really would like to encourage you not to think this is the end of your hopes and dreams. Please - there are other places and probably better places! Just try to be patient and keep looking. Sometimes what appears as bad news turns out to have been for the best. I can give you many examples of this from my life and other people I have known. You may end up with a truly lovely place and make wonderful friends and never have to think of this episode or her again. So never give up. There is always hope. That "even-better place" is out there. Good luck!

I would not buy on the same complex now, as it wouldn't work. I think your friend has probably made a point of finding out which house you had chosen out of curiosity once you told her you were also buying there. I think you have had a lucky escape really. Imagine if you hadn't told her in advance that you were also buying there, and then she signed up to the one that was to be hers on Wednesday! Once she found out that you had got the one she would have liked if it had first been available, you would never have heard the end of it, and your holidays could be marred by her harping on. Look elsewhere for your new holiday home and distance yourself from her.

I agree with the posters who have already posted. It’s an underhand trick to pull, and a true friend would not do it. Do you really think that you would be able to holiday in the same resort now, even if she backed off trying to buy the property you want, knowing that she would resent you for having the place she wanted? Would you want to be in close proximity to someone as devious as she is proving herself to be? I think it would completely knock the shine off your holiday home, knowing she was so close by?
I think MagicWand sums the situation up well.
I’m sorry that this is happening to you, but I really don’t think this friendship can survive this, even if she pulls out of trying to gazump you - she has nailed her true colours to the mast, and you will be better off keeping well away from her.

That friendship has gone, you must have trust in a good friend and her actions clearly demonstrate that she is not to be trusted. I am so sorry such an exciting time for you has been spoiled.

Another thought, too, is she might be doing this because she doesn’t want you on the same complex?

Framilode. You know, this enforced pause she has created in your plans to buy abroad may have come at a perfect time for you! With the (here comes the foul language of which I disapprove) Brexit (sorry! bad language) situation so precarious right now, you might be saved from making a terribly unwise or ill-judged move. It could be that to hold on for a at least a month or more, would place you in a much stronger position from which to make your decision.

And do not buy a property near Miss Stab-you-in-the-back!

What a awful thing to do to a friend.

I'd let her have it, end the friendship and start looking for another property...but don't tell her anything about it.

The loose lipped agent is an idiot. He (or she) could have had two sales but is now only going to have one.

Playing devils advocate here, is there ANY way she thinks you might have known that she origionally wanted to buy your house? Then you bought it from under her nose? Did you hear about this complex through het?. (And there's a thread just like this about you somewhere?)

That is not what a friend does. Tell her exactly what you think of her despicable action then dump her. Find somewhere else away from this person.

@Auntieflow I suppose @Framilode's friend could put in a better offer to ''snatch it from under her nose''.

My gut feeling is that there might be a possibility framilode's friend doesn't know about the house framilode intends to buy, and might think @framilode wants another one in the same area. But if @framilode's friend knows about the house framilode wants to buy, then that can't be the case, and will conclude that framilode's friend isn't a true friend after all.

If you really want this house, go for it. Why should she control where you live? It all depends how much you want that particular place. I would fight to buy it just to annoy her.

She finishes off by saying she hopes it doesn't spoil our friendship but she has to do what is right for her

Ah yes. That modern thing of people doing what is right for themselves, regardless of the consequences for anyone else.
Personally Framilode I wouldn’t even think about buying a property in Europe just now. I’m not prepared to take huge risks with my money.
You may well find that my DM’s philosophy of ‘everything happens for the best’ might apply in this situation.

I can imagine the reverse thread:

We have been looking to buy in spain and found the perfect house. Unfortunately we were beaten to it by another buyer so found another (not perfect but cheaper) house in the same complex. We were so excited and shared our excitment with friends (oops, naiive!) Who oohed and ahhed about the complex and said they were looking forward to visiting us there.

Little did we know (because they kept it a secret from us? Which is odd right?) They decided to buy in the same complex, and when OUR dream house came back in the market, they snapped it up. We only know this because the EA let it slip.

Would we be unreasonable to see if they are still taking offers on our dream house and counter offer? Since our friends obviously arent as good friends as we thought because while we were sharing our excitment about the complex they were secretly looking there too? Friends would tell each other right?

Yep notanan2 it works both ways doesn't it. I wouldn't buy in Spain because of naughty B........ at present anyway, wait and see what happens.

I would be inclined to wait and see if she buys then just text her saying you were going to pull out anyway because of the dramatic price drops that are forecast because of Brexit!
It does sound as though the friendship is over, whatever she does or doesn't do.

I think so. However the rest of it played out I do think it is at the very least a bit odd to not tell a friend that you are buying in the same complex as them.

That may have "set the tone" for the friends latter actions.

I guess the friendship isnt very important to either party. In which case, becoming neighbours isnt exactly ideal.

Actually, OP, I think you are the cheeky person in this instance.

You said in your update that she started the buying process first and you later decided you wanted to buy a holiday home in the same area.

When she first chose the house she was buying the one we wanted was not available as someone else was buying it. It then came back on the market and we reserved it *not knowing that she had originally liked it better.*

So she had seen it first and when it came back on the market she decided to go for it.

Also, from your OP, it sounds like it’s going to be her permanent home and just a holiday home to you.

You are definitely the cheeky one in this instance and if I was your friend, I’d be questioning the friendship too.

In general though. If I had the means I WOULD be looking to invest within the eurozone right about now. To hedge my bets.

I agree with the possibility of your alternative scenario notanan.

And while we have heard only one side of the story, some posters are being very quick to judge the friend in the harshest ways.

That's not friendship at all. dump her

Its the way the so called friend did it that is so wrong.
She is due to complete on Wednesday. at the last moment she told Framilode, who has apparently always been there for her. She must have known it would upset her. What a fool to lose a good friend this way.
I think she has left it too late, and it will be interesting to see if she can get out of it now. If Framilode had not told her and she had found out later, I wonder what her response would have been?
Either way. this friendship is doomed. Luckily there are a lot of other properties in Spain and I don't know how many F actually looked at. You should always look at many properties before spending a lot of money on one.

Any chance of a quick dash to' beat her to the post' ?Then decide, on the out come, whether you still want this person as a friend.?