Gransnet forums


Dirty trick?

(89 Posts)
Framilode Mon 01-Apr-19 15:57:26

We are just at the start of the process of buying a holiday home in Spain. A very good friend is also buying one on the same small complex and is due to complete on Wednesday.

Out of courtesy, and because I thought she would be pleased, I told her that we are also buying. She has either been told or found out the particular house we want and now wants to have ours instead of the original one she is buying. This could be done by her solicitor before she goes to the notary on Wednesday. The house we are buying was not available when she set off on this path. It had been sold to someone else who later pulled out.

We only want this one house and will pull out altogether if she takes it off us.

I think it is a rotten trick and a sort of gazumping. We have always been there for her and helped her a lot both practically and emotionally over the years.

AIBU to think she is behaving badly? I am due to go and stay with her next month but will cancel the trip and also our friendship if she does this.

What do others think?

Framilode Tue 02-Apr-19 16:20:38

Just to let you know ladies we have decided not to proceed on that particular complex and will look elsewhere.

To clarify a few things:-

We know the area well having lived there for 15 years and it was me, in fact, that told her about these houses. They are bank repossessions and handled differently from other property sales in Spain.

She got her act together very quickly and after 3 weeks is almost at the point of completion on her original purchase. She had never viewed the house we were buying, just liked the position better, as it was not available when she started the process.

She professed herself delighted when we told her we were also buying there. It was only when she found out which house it was that things changed and she did the dirty on us.

She is now going ahead with the purchase of the house we wanted and I am not prepared to get into a contract race that she will inevitably win as she is on the doorstep.

We will put it down to experience. In a couple of days I will let her know exactly what I think of her and then forget it and her.

Gransnet is always a mine of good advice.

M0nica Tue 02-Apr-19 16:26:42

Framilode, you have made the best decision, despite the disappointment.

You come out of this sad affair with your head held high and your dignity intact. Your 'friend' on the other hand............

FNH1 Tue 02-Apr-19 16:31:45

Well you could just dump here which I personally think she deserves or you could have a chat with her about why she wants the house you are buying. She will, of course, lie as she is prepared to practically steal something you want so I'm not sure if a chat will do any good. What would serve you better is if you get onto your solicitor or the buyer and ask for some sort of reserve on the property even if it means a deposit. Then of course you have to remember you will be living on the same estate as her? Good lck with it all

FNH1 Tue 02-Apr-19 16:33:24

I see from above you have pulled out. I think for what it's worth you made the right decision or you would be coming face to face with her all the time. Find somewhere nicer and let's hope she's on land that the Spanish Government want to bulldoze at some time in the future

queenofsaanich69 Tue 02-Apr-19 16:46:13

I'd send her a copy of all the above letters,then she can see what people think of her,definitely not friend material,also I don't see how it would work if she does live near you,really hope everything works out for you,good luck.

Sulis Tue 02-Apr-19 16:49:30

Sorry, she is NOT a very good friend. Get rid of her.

Aepgirl Tue 02-Apr-19 17:03:55

She sounds spoilt and jealous - not the sort of person I would call a friend.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Tue 02-Apr-19 18:31:45

I think you're making the right decision.

trendygran Tue 02-Apr-19 21:47:01

What sort of friend would do that.? Such a shame to ruin a friendship if she goes ahead with this,but even talking of doing it is bad. She must have a very selfish streak ,which maybe you haven’t seen in her before this. I would be cross and upset if a so called friend did this to me.

sharon103 Tue 02-Apr-19 22:37:18

You've made the right decision to pull out. She's no friend at all. A true friend would have been pleased for you. Good luck.

gt66 Tue 02-Apr-19 22:41:18

You should also let the estate agent know what's happened and that you don't appreciate them letting her know your intentions and that it's cost them a sale!

Leavesden Fri 05-Apr-19 16:00:18

Perhaps she wants to buy your house because she doesn’t want you on the same complex, she isn’t really a friend.

Lazigirl Fri 05-Apr-19 18:22:52

Is your friend buying the house to live in permanently or similar to you as a holiday home Framilode? I personally wouldn't do that to a friend (or acquaintance), but can understand her motivation somewhat if it is to be her permanent home. Hope it works out and you find somewhere you like even better.