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AIBU

Holiday - own room

(102 Posts)
SisterAct Fri 31-May-19 13:59:28

Am I being unreasonable. A friend has asked me to go away with her abroad or in England. I said I would be interested but would want my own room.

She got very frosty and said the point of sharing was it was cheaper and I was being selfish.

aggie Fri 31-May-19 14:00:49

The extra is worth it usually , I hate sharing with a friend

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 31-May-19 14:05:08

If she disagrees with you on something that you consider to be important it sounds like it's best not to go on holiday together. A week or two away may make you realise that there are bigger differences which you can't disagree on nicely.
Surely the point of going away is to have a treat and push the boat out, as it were?

annodomini Fri 31-May-19 14:07:25

I have shared with friends on a couple of occasions. Both were very hearty snorers. My defence was blu-tack which the GP recommended for swimming. Similarly when sharing with my sister who was also a snorer. So if you want to put your friend off sharing, tell her that you're a snorer.

crazyH Fri 31-May-19 14:15:04

I like my own room. I read late into the night. I get up late. I would hate to inflict my bad habits on others, unless it's my lovely sis-in-law (brother's widow), whose body clock is the same as mine. Sadly, she is not well enough to travel and I can't think of sharing a holiday with anyone else, even my own daughter, who complains of my 'snoring' every time I go with her.😂

Alygran Fri 31-May-19 14:15:47

I prefer my own room too and willingly pay the higher price. This limits where we can stay and go as my friend has a lower income than me. We have shared for 2 nights away in the U.K.. but I would be reluctant to do this for a week or two.
I don’t think you are being unreasonable but it might be a dealbreaker for your holiday.

annsixty Fri 31-May-19 14:26:12

I have shared just once with a SiL.
Never again.
She was widowed and was used to just having her own way all the time.

DoraMarr Fri 31-May-19 14:27:08

I thought the point of sharing a holiday was companionship!
I would never share a room with any of my friends, I like my own space and my own bathroom. Go away on your own and have a good time.

ginny Fri 31-May-19 14:39:38

I wouldn’t want to share either. I like my own space. However well you get on you need somewhere to be private or have a few minutes on your own.

Poppyred Fri 31-May-19 14:40:22

Sharing would be my worst nightmare!

3dognight Fri 31-May-19 14:42:04

Can you not book a holiday cottage for a long weekend?

That way you can have a room each, and also have abit more space in which to spread out, that's what I would do.
If you go slightly out of season it would be much cheaper, if cost is an issue.

If she's getting frosty about things before you even go, do you even want to go?

Buffybee Fri 31-May-19 14:45:20

I go away for a week every year with a friend of mine.
We are both single and used to sleeping in a bedroom alone, so both of us agree that paying for a single room is worth the extra money.
I would rather not go than share a bedroom.
In answer to your question Op, you ANBU but your frosty friend, who told you that you were selfish most definitely is.

janeainsworth Fri 31-May-19 14:55:29

Sisteract Your friend seems to be implying that the only reason she wants to go on holiday with you is that it will be cheaper..... for her. And then accuses you of being selfish.
I know what I’d do!

humptydumpty Fri 31-May-19 15:02:08

I don't even share with my adult DD! - even though it's much more expensive.

Charleygirl5 Fri 31-May-19 15:02:28

I shared a room once with a friend and it was a nightmare. She wanted to go to bed at 9pm whereas I wanted to watch the hotel's entertainment. I read until quite late and she hated the light being on. Never again.

Tedber Fri 31-May-19 15:38:24

I don't like sharing rooms either no matter how much I like and get on with the person I am travelling with! It is far from selfish....as I hate to keep anybody else awake either. I like to please myself and if I want to get up and make a cuppa or read or watch t.v. all night long I am not disturbing anyone.

So Sisteract - as others have said IF your friend says you are being selfish tell her on the contrary...you are being CONSIDERATE. If she sulks.....then really do reassess the idea as she may want her own way with other things too?

No you are not being unreasonable.

Gonegirl Fri 31-May-19 15:39:36

When I go on city breaks with DD we always share. We have a double bed too because it's more snuggly. grin

Daisymae Fri 31-May-19 16:02:51

If that's your preference then there's not really much more to be said. ,I would always want my own space, her reaction is a bit ott.

trisher Fri 31-May-19 16:09:02

I used to share wih my mum when I went on holiday and it was fine. But I regularly had to remove her glasses, take. her book off her and turn out her bedside light, although she always swore she hadn't slept. She also insisted that I didn't snore (although I know quite well I do).
I have shared with a very close friend but you have to know them really well for it to be a happy holiday. Your own space is safer

hellymart Fri 31-May-19 16:24:30

I'm with you (and most of the other posters) - I like to have my own room and a bit of 'space' if I go away with a friend, no matter how much I like them. I can't relax completely if I'm sharing. I'm always worried that I'll snore (I do sometimes!) and then there's having to share a bathroom, which is a nuisance. Perhaps you need to rethink your holiday, if she's behaving like this before you even go!

Witzend Fri 31-May-19 16:42:54

Crikey, she's the one who's BU!

There comes a time when you want and need privacy, not to mention freedom to have the light on to read, etc. Or to snore without embarrassment!
There's no way I'd share with even a close friend any more.

If she's 'frosty' about this, TBH I'd think twice about going on holiday with her at all. She might prove difficult about other things, too.

SynchroSwimmer Fri 31-May-19 16:53:41

As an aside....
As a regular traveller, I was only recently given a great suggestion by a friend:

If going abroad, and for example on the Thomas Cook or other website....

Choose your hotel, and dates and progress the booking page for 2 people - BUT THEN click on the option that comes up for “Add Another Room” - and see what the price is....it might be a pleasant surprise.

This came about when I bumped into someone single that I knew, who showed up out of the blue in a second hotel that I was staying in - the hotel is renowned for never offering single rooms - but the two ladies had been able to book a room each on the same booking by using the “add room” option.

Going to lie in a darkened room now 😀

sodapop Fri 31-May-19 18:02:46

I wouldn't share a room either Sisteract I don't sleep well so often read during the night. I snore as well. Much prefer privacy and my own bathroom. Some good ideas here, try a cottage or apartment with two bedrooms or try Synchroswimmer's tip.
If its a deal breaker so be it, I wouldn't do it.

crystaltipps Fri 31-May-19 18:06:58

ooh No, would like my own bathroom and toilet. Would only share with a romantic partner.🙂

Grammaretto Fri 31-May-19 18:10:42

You are not BU at all.
I shared with a friend earlier this year. It was awful. I couldn't get to sleep as I was too hot. I needed the loo but didn't want to wake her.
If I'd been alone I'd have read, played on my laptop, listened to music, made a drink. Hell no. Unless it's a lover I wouldn't bother and even then....