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AIBU

Holiday - own room

(103 Posts)
SisterAct Fri 31-May-19 13:59:28

Am I being unreasonable. A friend has asked me to go away with her abroad or in England. I said I would be interested but would want my own room.

She got very frosty and said the point of sharing was it was cheaper and I was being selfish.

Shirls52000 Sat 01-Jun-19 12:59:56

I holiday regularly with a friend and we go to far flung destinations, Ecuador and Galapagos next later this year. We are both divorced/ separated and live alone and we both find that although we have families we tend to get lonely at times and it’s lovely to have someone to share with and be a bit like conspiratorial teenagers for a short while. We will be sharing again later this year and we are generally working to the same time clock which seems to work for us. I am 62 and she is 64 and we re always being asked what we re up to next and where are we going. It keeps us young and we have so many memories that we have made together. I would say though that you have to be very good friends to go on holiday together as it can make or break a friendship and if sharing a room you will be in very close proximity to each other and may miss your own space. Sharing for us has kept the cost down and enabled us to visit places we may not otherwise have been able to go and I for one would recommend it just for the companionship alone ??

B9exchange Sat 01-Jun-19 13:08:10

I went to a conference once and had to share a room in what was really a rather run down holiday camp. The chalet bedrooms were tiny, just a couple of feet between the beds, the woman I was with would not stop talking, and I really mean non-stop! She gave me a lift up, and wouldn't even countenance buying a cup of tea in a motorway service station, having brought a flask of her own lukewarm tea to share. She talked all the way to the loos, whilst inside, and all the way back again.

The final straw was when I got out of bed the next morning, mercifully before she was awake, an stepped on something soft and squishy, nearly falling on top of her. It was her breast prosthesis, which she had left casually on the floor between the beds!!!

The final s

Mrsemmapeel10 Sat 01-Jun-19 13:48:25

It is important to have your own room- you don’t want to hear/smell her bodily functions, nor she yours. The extra cost of 2 rooms is well worth it.

minxie Sat 01-Jun-19 14:24:11

There is only one friend who I share a room with. We are so used to it and we both know each other’s foibles
Another friend I did share with told me she was going to record my sleeping as I made funny noises.
It made me afraid to sleep after that so never again with her.
Separate rooms forever more except for my one friend.
I don’t know if I could even share with my sister.
Stick to your guns

JacquiG Sat 01-Jun-19 14:51:56

How do you know she's not a noisy sleeper? And are you?

sandelf Sat 01-Jun-19 14:56:19

Unbearable - if she's only asked you to make it cheaper what sort of holiday is that!?

blue60 Sat 01-Jun-19 15:26:58

I don't particularly like sharing, but I did when a friend and I went to the Chelsea Flower Show one year - we had a brilliant laugh.

Grandmother1234 Sat 01-Jun-19 15:43:32

If it’s about cost saga holidays don’t charge extra for single rooms

Magrithea Sat 01-Jun-19 16:31:38

The only person I would happily (mostly!) share with is my dear Mum, apart from DH of course! I have shared with a couple of close friends but everyone's habits are different so it can cause friction. One dear friend I went away with for our 50th birthdays like the curtains open always and gets up early! I wanted a darker room and later rising!!! We did manage as our hotel gave us a small suite of rooms so we could have our own preferences when it came to sleeping!

Grandma70s Sat 01-Jun-19 17:20:15

When I’ve been on holiday with a friend I’ve always had my own room, but once I went on a choir tour and we were made to share to save costs. It was awful. We didn’t know each other particularly well, and the person I shared with was very fussy about small things. She got very upset if I put my toothbrush in the ‘wrong place’.

I’ve lived on my own a long time, and I hate even sharing a bathroom.

M0nica Sat 01-Jun-19 17:32:53

It is your holiday too. Your purpose on going on it is not, I presume, so you can save your friend money. If you go on a holiday and want your own room. Have one.

I am not sure I would want to holiday with a friend whose sole purpose of asking me to join her was to save herself money. You are holidaying together because you enjoy each others company. You are not a money off coupon.

Gma29 Sat 01-Jun-19 18:10:47

I prefer not to share with anybody, including my OH, although we do on holiday. I have shared on one or two night city breaks with a very good friend, but wouldn’t do it for longer.

If a single room is your preference, that’s your prerogative. If your frosty friend cannot afford her own room, that’s just unfortunate for her. No reason you should have to suffer!

SunnySusie Sat 01-Jun-19 18:36:21

So much enjoyed reading this thread and finding out I am not the only one who hates sharing. I would honestly rather not go on holiday. I love to have a companion to travel with, but strictly on the understanding we have our own en-suite rooms. So no SisterAct you are not being unreasonable at all.

sarahanew Sat 01-Jun-19 18:56:21

It depends on your budget. It sounds like she can't afford separate rooms, but you can. And if you're already disagreeing on the finances before it's booked the holiday would not be the relaxing break it should be

bikergran Sat 01-Jun-19 19:29:22

janeainsworth "you took the words right out of my mouth"

(as Meatloaf would say)

bikergran Sat 01-Jun-19 19:40:21

Im going on holiday with my mum n dad....they said we could always all share a room...lol so I would save money on single room.

My mum n dad are 84 im 63 so think Im a bit old to be sharing with Mum & Dad lol....but it made me smile lol

alchemilla Sat 01-Jun-19 20:45:32

Totally agree with everyone - if you don't want to share a room for whatever reason just don't do it. Your friend is the one being unreasonable. End of.

Aepgirl Sat 01-Jun-19 20:59:26

A holiday with a friend can be the end of a lovely friendship if you have no respite from each other. I think separate rooms is essential.

Funnygran Sat 01-Jun-19 21:37:07

Shared a room with an old friend a few years ago when we went on a walking tour for the first time together. She is reasonably well off and goes on holiday on her own a lot - yet cut corners on meals, cups of coffee when we were out and wouldn’t socialise in the evening in case it meant spending money. Never again!

Brigidsdaughter Sat 01-Jun-19 22:00:37

B9exchange
You gave me a good laugh though I can see that wouldn't have been funny for you.
A friend was keen to share a cabin on a cruise. However, no way would I share. (She could afford the fare).
DH and I haven't shared for years but happy. Space is healthy.
If I was moving house, I'd love my own bathroom too!

Sara65 Sat 01-Jun-19 22:10:51

I couldn’t bear the thought of sharing with anyone apart from my husband, I even dislike sharing a bathroom with him when we’re away from home

In my youth I shared rooms, even beds (platonically of course) with friends, but I couldn’t do it now!

kwest Sat 01-Jun-19 23:08:20

I never share rooms with anyone except my husband, not family , not friends. If you make it clear that this is non-negotiable no-one will dare to argue with you. Problem solved.

B9exchange Sun 02-Jun-19 12:46:02

Thank you Brigidsdaughter, it was a bit alarming at the time, but a good dinner party story later! grin

TwiceAsNice Sun 02-Jun-19 14:33:16

I have shared several times with my best friend but would not share with anyone else. Have gone away with a group of friends and paid for a single room

Witzend Tue 04-Jun-19 08:03:19

I can't help wondering whether the OP's friend would genuinely have trouble paying for a single, or whether she's just tight!
We once seriously debated inviting an elderly aunt of dh's on holiday with us, since my mother was also coming.

Sharing a room would never have been on the cards, but we eventually decided against it, since although very well off and formerly very well travelled, she was unbelievably mean with money and would have been grumbling - probably vociferously! - about every single bill however small.

It just wasn't worth the aggro.