WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING WITH DAUGHTER

If my DDs ever get married I would definitely prefer not to be involved. Our tastes are all very different and I'd be bound to say the wrong thing. On top of which, I'm not keen on shopping.

Different strokes etc. OP why don't you ask her to send you a video of the dresses she's choosing?

When we were planning DD's wedding she and her fiancée were accompanied by 3 of us (at their request) - myself, her stepmother and fiancée's aunt as her mum had died a couple of years earlier.
We thoroughly enjoyed the fuss that assistants made when faced with 2 brides! We had 2 excellent shopping days followed by a very happy wedding with no disagreements at all.

When daughter 2 was getting married, she came home with a dress, about 6 months before the wedding. Her fiancé was with her and helped to choose it, because he "didn`t want her turning up in something he didn`t like." I didn`t like what she`d bought, but it wasn`t me getting married. Daughter 3 had both me and her dad along when choosing her dress. Fast forward to daughter 1`s second wedding, I was asked to go along when she was looking for her dress, and daughter 3, when getting married again, brought 2 dresses to our house for us to look at and give our opinions, in the end I think we all liked her final choice.

I'm sorry you missed out on such an event when you wanted to be included. I would be just as upset.

Can I ask how you communicated this to your daughter beforehand? I wonder if she doesn't feel you have a close relationship if neither of you talked about it before it happened. Furthermore, 100 miles is quite the distance. There's so much chaos in planning a wedding that it would make it a lot more difficult to have to plan every single dress shopping around when you can make a 2 hour drive. As you've said, she's gone 3 times already, that's 12 hours of driving for you!!

I would suggest being open and honest with her. I don't think you're unreasonable to be upset. You're entitled to feel that way. But your daughter may have no idea you feel this way. Maybe she could even just facetime you or send pics during the process as a way of including you that's convenient for everyone!

My daughter chose her own wedding dress and I was an admiring adviser. I invited her stepmother to attend but she chose to wait for the big day although her dad was paying half the cost of the wedding. I think the bride chooses what she wants.

OP, when I got married I went by myself to find my wedding dress. I wanted to get what I wanted and I didn’t want anyone else’s opinion.

It wasn’t to be rude to them, in fact, it was to avoid being rude.

I wanted to find a dress I truly loved. And I didn’t want to offend anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings by choosing a different dress than the one they wanted.

If you invite people’s opinions you will get them. Perhaps she was a little worried you have different style and she didn’t want to offend you by choosing something else.

I will tell you once I selected my dress I brought my mom to the where were we had a beautiful “dress reveal” for her with me in the dress, vail, hair up, the whole shebang and a champagne toast.

It was very special. I don’t think my mom felt slighted, if she did she’s nevertheless mentioned it.

I would be upset. My daughter has already said I will be going with her though
My son got married last year and I also went with my future daughter in law. I was included in everything

Is she expecting you to pay for it?

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Unless you are the person paying then personally you shouldn’t expect to be there. If she asks that’s nice but it’s her money and her dress.

Blood and sand, it’s happened again! I’ve just read through the whole thread, thinking about what I was going to say about my own experiences, when I got to page 3 and realised I’d already said it, 12 months ago. I must have the memory of a goldfish.

I was just thinking the wedding was probably postponed as it was to be May 2020

I wedding dress shopped on my own my mother would have been no help I think shopping with the MOB goes back to the time when MandFofB were paying for everything which is less often the case these days Saying that my sis shopped on her own and Iwas paying for the dress