2hrs of Sex!!!!!!( lighthearted)

Doodle
I agree with Lilypops time to bring out War and Peace which I never got round to reading.

2 hours? Blimey I've only to mention sex and suddenly he has a urgent job to do at the far end of the garden!

I have my ways and means to keep the garden looking good

Many moons ago one of the men I worked with told me that women were capable of experiencing orgasms lasting up to 40 minutes! I replied I would be probably be dead after the first 2 minutes.

^what's wrong with two minutes'?

After the thread about Jeremy, Jeremy and Boris this is (almost) too much.

Do these timings include foreplay?

I thought most men's idea of foreplay was " how about it"
Thats 10 seconds used up.

Someone's been meeting the wrong men, annsixty!

Thanks ladies for sharing your lovely , humorous observations. We can now lay back & think of each other ?but make sure you don’t giggle !

I too misread it as “new position” ?

Anyway - we need a link - so we can see what it’s all about.

Asking for a friend....

If I am going to have to keep going for 2 hours never mind phone a friend I will have to ask the whole audience how

only two hours- we prefer a marathon to a sprint

ann, one of my colleagues alleged that her husband’s idea of foreplay was to ask, “Will I keep them in or take them oot”.

Referring to his dentures, obviously.

Oh dear,i read it as new position too, i thought that might be very uncomfortable

I always like the line from Mrs Doubtfire, his idea of of foreplay was
" brace yourself Effie ".?

Well, next time hubby suggests it, I'll put the timer on to wake me up at around 1:58 ... he'll never know!

Lol, so funny....

Lol....Hysterical..

One of the best topics to make me laugh out loud for a long time.
You people are so witty and funny.
Made my day.
???

Sex? What’s that?

My partner of 20 years (both in our late 60s) has been impotent for nearly five years. Previously we had enjoyed a very active sex life.
He also seems depressed (cause or effect?), but refuses to discuss it or seek help. He won’t even cuddle, practically wears a suit of armour in bed, and sleeps on the edge of his side.
I love him as much as ever but don’t want to be celibate for the rest of my life without any physical contact apart from a quick peck on the cheek.
Any ideas?

Well yes, talk to him about how you feel. Choose a time when you are both relaxed and maybe have some suggestions for how some intamacy can be restored. If he refuses you only have 2 options, but you will have tried.

You really think that any man would be able to carry on for 2 hours without falling asleep half way through??

What is sex ? I thought it was something that posh people carry there potatoes i n . I rather have a piece of chocolate cake and a cup of tea .

If you say to him that you desperately need a cuddle ( not in bed) how does or would he react ? If he won’t even consider that , then you have tell him that things can’t go as they are, ie does he want to end up living separate lives ?
Sometimes it’s good to write a letter, & perhaps he would find it easier to write his feelings down. Best wishes

Hi
My partner of 20 years (we’re both in our late 60s) has been impotent for the last four years. Previously we shared a very happy and mutually satisfying sex life but now he won’t even cuddle.
He is appears depressed (cause or effect?) but won’t talk about it or seek help, just says he’s old and tired.
We still sleep together, him on the far side of the bed in a virtual suit of armour and pulls away if I even touch him.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life celibate and without any physical affection at all.
Any ideas?