To think granddaughter is too old for a dummy

How funny there’s just be an item on TV about how to get rid of dummies in five days a speech therapist has started a group help thingy she said after a year old it can alter speech teeth swallowing and inner ear

There are plenty of scare stories if you look for them but I just want to add that DS2 was born with his thumb in his mouth and a blister on it! He sucked until he was far too grown up and then transferred to cigarettes. I think some people are more oral than others.

He has given up now , though it was a struggle. maybe we should have given him a dummy

Mishapen teeth has nothing to do with either thumb sucking or using dummies. That is an old wives tale. Misshapen are teeth are caused by overcrowding of teeth in the mouth.

DS didn't suck his thumb and needed extensive orthodontic treatment including the removal of two teeth to make room for the others to be set straight.

DD turned her hand over and sucked two fingers in a way that could have been expected to lever top teeth out and push bottom teeth in ( and still does it in her sleep at times). her teeth are neat and straight and have never needed any orthodontic

Personally I think it is too old. My daughter's childhood friend had one until she was 8!!! For the record though her adult teeth have all came in perfectly straight.

Wouldn't be one of mine though. I'd rather have a few tantrums and get them off it As it is your grandchild however, have your opinion but prob best leaving it to parents to decide what happens with it.

BTW there's a brilliant book about a little monster giving up his dummy - Granny Monster in particular is putting pressure on Mummy Monster to make him ditch it.
It's called The Last NooNoo - funny and highly recommended!
Might be out of print now but I found a 2nd hand copy on Amazon. Despite neither of them ever having a dummy, Gdcs love it!

It’s fine for you to think that

But it’s not your call. You’ve made your case. Now let it go

Nicely worded there summerlove.

Constant use of a dummy hinders speech.

Development.

Tonks,

This is a tricky one, my feelings are a bit conflicting.

Firstly, it's absolutely not your place to say anything to your daughter. It's her daughter and i'd be fearful of upsetting her with any unsolicited opinion.

Secondly, I don't think you're wrong in the opinion you hold. My daughter's pediatrician and dentist both advised it's best to get rid of the dummy before the babe turns 2. It interferes with mouth and tooth development. Waiting later just makes it hard to get rid of.

The child won't likely give it up easier on her own, especially if she uses it for sleep.

When my daughter was 20 months old I gathered them all up and threw them away. She was also only using them to fall asleep at nap and bedtime. We went through 3/4 days of rough falling asleep, then she was over it.

So, in my opinion, 5 is too old but it's not your place to say something. Just be on the lookout for your daughter to ask your advice. But don't make the decision for her when you watch the child.

Say to her that big girls who go to school don't use dummies?

Isn't that a bit like saying "boys don't cry"?
She will stop using it herself very soon. My advice is to say nothing. Children all mature at different rates.

You can do what you like when it’s your child and nothing at all when it isn’t.

It amuses me, I can't help saying, when we are told on here not to give our opinions for fear of upsetting our grown DC.
It's not our place, It's their child etc.
My Mil who's in her 90s now has never held back from giving her opinion and she is occasionally
respected for it.

When are we allowed to become wise old ones?

So true Grammaretto

Things have changed so much since those days, we seemed to have more respect for our ‘elders and betters’ as they were deemed!

Like yours Grammaretto, my own MIL would not so much offer advice as dictate! I’d just listen and smile, then carry on doing things my way!

I chose to go the other way with my own daughter and never offered advice unless it was asked for and even then I’d phrase it as a suggestion that had worked for me.

Peer pressure will stop her dummy use soon I should imagine. She will realise that it's a babyish habit.

My son sucked his thumb until he was 3. Someone said he would have teeth like Bugs Bunny and he just stopped. He had no idea who Bugs Bunny was of course as living in Jamaica, we didn't have that cartoon on the TV.

My GD who is 3 still has a dummy - - think it's okay at night but not during the day which she seems to get away with having - but it's not my child so I don't get involved although I do feel it's affected her speech and teeth.

Kids a different indeed but 5! No outs time to wean her away from that . My daughter had to weaned from hers at two and a half...she was a very bad sleeper til then.... and I let it go on to save my sanity as I was also working part-time. She reluctantly let it go but you have to stay firm. My son had a dummy also...and at 14 months o just said “ shall we put that in the bin now you’re a big boy” ...he surprisingly opened the bin and threw the dummy in and never bothered again! He’s never failed to amaze me ever since!

Both my daughters had soothers to help them sleep. I kept them for sleep/ cot only. They become dummies when used to stop children crying..i.e seeking attention. I think at 5 the child is old enough to talk this through. She needs weaning from dummy to become a sleep soother then to drop the soother altogether. My elder DD gave up her soother voluntarily by a year old but her 2.5 yr old sister was encouraged to leave it for our neighbours new baby , due while we were away on holiday. DD2 promptly took to sucking her thumb! Fortunately no dental damage as it lasted until she was 10! It will ne a tough couple of days but go away for a day or 2 & forget the dummy!

Perhaps your daughter could try not letting her having it during the day but let her have it at night . Praise her and reward her for being such a good girl for not having a dummy . When she gets used to this progress to the night time . Good luck there will be years and tantrums but keep with it .

I think 5 seems much too old to be having a dummy but then I am not the child’s mum. What I do find more concerning is that the mum does not want to risk a tantrum by suggesting that the child stops using her dummy even though she must know that it could be causing harm. It sounds as if the mum is frightened of her daughter and doesn’t want to upset her. I think that is sad, the mum needs to start acting the parent and being in control. The child might then feel more secure and not need the dummy.

It's better than sucking a thumb. My parents didn't like dummies and I found my thumb. Which was cute when I was a baby but downright embarrassing for both me and my parents when I got to 8 and still couldn't stop it automatically going into my mouth. At least with a dummy you can "lose" it when it finally becomes too much

Neither of mine had dummies, so no personal agenda here
It's something that gives the child comfort, and there seems to be opinions in here that it's bad for a child to need comfort. That it's good to get rid of comfort objects. Why is that I wonder, eventually they will be dropped, and some people keep them, what's the problem with that. There is nothing virtuous about not needing comfort, the child might go on to suck her thumb, or just be less secure. If the mother wants to help the child wean from it then best to do it gradually at the child's own pace, if the child will be distresses, does it help to think about her reaction as distressed rather than a tantrum, then mum is right to consider her child's feelings and work with her how to do it with no distress. Not all outbursts are tantrums
Many of us gain comfort from things such as having a cuppa when we've had a hard day, some if you might have a wine. How would we like it if someone said no more cups of tea, you get comfort from them and you are old enough to just have a drink if water when you're thirsty. Or no more Horlicks or ovaltine at bedtime, it's just a habit and you don't need it any more.

It is too old / she’ll get mid-sharpen teeth and will get teased at school if word gets out. But... not your child, not your choice.