To think granddaughter is too old for a dummy

There was something on the One Show last night about a speech therapist setting up a help web page to support parents through the 'no more dummy' period. She listed the problems long term use can cause. Well worth watching.

Well exactly oodles - my point entirely. Why put this wee lass through an unnecessary trauma and upset just because her GM thinks she "should" not have a dummy?

She will grow out of it and it is unlikely to do her any harm at all. What might do her harm is to have her comfort and security taken away - especially for no good reason.

Dummies have had a bad press in their time, but things really are different now. And I suspect that there is a class element operating here - as there is with most things in the UK - and that it is seen as chavvy to have a dummy.

GC of mine have had dummies and there is no sign that their speech has been delayed at all.

One of my DC had one, two of my DGC had one but both had discarded them by the age of two without too much trauma, a few tears one night (five minutes then peering out of the window to see if the fairies had come to collect it!). A child of five does not need a dummy - if they still need the comfort then it has just become a long-term habit.

A child of five does not need a dummy - clearly this one does!

Comfort is a universal human need at any age, and is not a "habit" (with all the negative connotations of that word).

She won’t have a dummy at 20 - my advise is to chill out and mind your own business.

I have 3 children
My middle son had his dummy until he was about 4, only at bedtime though. My other children didn’t want one. All breastfed on demand. Middle son wanted to feed constantly so the dummy helped me have a break in between feeds.
When it was time for it to go I think we just gently replaced it with a sucky toy first and then he eventually just grew out of it. Absolutely nothing wrong with having something to soothe on before bed.
My son is 22 now, he’s on the ASD spectrum, he’s had some kind of ‘soother’ all his life. Don’t be too harsh all you nay sayers

Whitewavemark2
Agreed! ?

Dummies are wonderful things for babies at sleep time, but I really don’t like to see them walking around with them. Even worse trying to talk with them still in their mouths. My own children all had them, and some of my grandchildren had some hadn’t. Only problem is one that sucks her thumb and parents having major problems trying to stop this habit

Clever me didn’t want my children to have dummies so they had their thumbs instead. While friends children accepted that Father Christmas had taken the dummies away at around 3/4 years old, my two still had a thumb attached until their teens! If I heard my husband say ‘take that thumb out’ many more times I think I’d have had to leave. She’ll get rid of it soon enough but I wouldn’t let her have it in the daytime as other children may be spiteful.

DD had a dummy until the summer before her sixth birthday.

Always kept under her pillow for bedtime, that rule might have been broken occasionally, it did no one any harm.

Five years is such a short time to be on this earth with so much of what is right and wrong to learn.if her dummy comforts her at bedtime then so be it.

There’s no chance she’ll take it to Uni. Promise.

None of my three ever had dummies. They coped we coped. No of my three grandchildren have either. If they did I wouldn’t comment as it’s not really my business it’s down to the parents to decided when to take the plugs away as we call them lol I think 5 years old is far too old. What about the teeth at this age. I would stay out of it though, it’s down to their parents not us

Allowing a child to continue with a dummy aged 5 is actually abuse - apart from the teeth problem, the practice is setting the child up for failure psychologically - at five years old this child will be at school, expected to go to the toilet herself, and to be able to read - what in heaven’s name is she sucking on a teet for before she goes to bed? As a GP you have a duty to make your views known on this one

Nobody has mentioned comfort blankets. Think Linus from Peanuts. Both my daughters had a comfort cloth. #1 had a muslin nappy square. As a baby i'd put it over the top of her cot or pram so any little burps of milk could go on it and it could be changed. Later she adopted one. #2 daughter for some reason had a flannelette square, piece of sheet. Both were easy to put in the wash and I had replacements.

I am pretty sure they still used them for sleeping or comfort when tired at ages 4 and 6 (there were nearly two years between them, as I remember being careful to take an extra one on holiday.

Years later we rescued a puppy at 2 days old and had to bottle feed her every 2 hours, day and night. She grew up and we had her until she died at 9 years old. In those years she sometimes came on a bed at night and would take the duvet cover in both front paws and paddle it, as if pressing a mother dog for milk and she'd suck the sheet between her paws. She continued to do that until she died. So when fully grown up. It is a similar child comfort thing. Just like children with dummies or comforters.

GoldenAge - I assume that your post is tongue-in-cheek! Abuse and failure psychologically!!! Brilliant!

“elders and betters”

Nope, just older. Not smarter, not better.

My middle child sucked her thumb for years and we couldn't throw that away!

My third child was a boy and quite fractious so we gave him a dummy at bedtime. We used to sneak in and take it out of his mouth once he was asleep
It was a nightmare trying to persuade him to give it up but as he neared the age of five and we were going on holiday with family and he'd be sharing a room with his cousin, I asked him if he minded her seeing his dummy. He didn't want that so the week before the holiday we got rid of it. He was a little tearful for the first couple of nights but was fine after that.
You just need some sort of incentive and then you have to get rid of the thing. No putting in a drawer "in case"

Who said elders and betters?

Dummies can get lost in the middle of the night and that can cause problems!

Vickya your post about comfort blankets reminds me of a piece about them on Woman's Hour at least thirty years ago.
A Young man phoned in to say he had a piece of his baby comfort blanket stitched inside the lining of his business suit!
He'd always had it and just couldn't get through the day without knowing it was close to him.

Callistemon,
Page 3, Pantglas1 around the 7:38 mark I believe

I was advised to give my son a dummy,he was very prem and had no sucking reflex.For the first 3 months he was either tube fed or a huge hole cut in a teat and the milk allowed to run into his mouth .That was fine while he was in hospital but sitting crying over a baby who couldn't suck once I'd got him home did nether he nor I any good at all.He had a dummy in SCBU and I continued to give him it in the hope it would eventually help.Even when he could suck they told me to give it to him especially at night ,so I did.He was certainly 4 by the time we decided it had to go but it took a long time to take them away as the wee begger had hidden dummies all over the house .He was near 5 by the time he was dummy free.His daughter now 10 was the same ,she loved her dummy and it was the christmas that she was 4 that Santa took hers .no problem with that she was fine to let it go ..until we found that like her dad she had a stash of them hidden in the oddest places .The dolls house,the toy cash register .You name it there was a dummy thereI'd leave well alone and let him give up in his own time,I've never seen a child go to high school with one and some children have much stranger habits than a dummy....By the way my son and his daughter have perfect teeth ,not even a filling for either of them and he's 32 ..nearly

Thank you, I see Pantglas's statement in context now and it makes sense.
Not at all as you tried to portray the meaning GoodMama

I see what you mean, Pantglas!
My elders and betters, DM and MIL, had very contradictory views on child-rearing, I listened to both respectfully and politely then probably did my own thing, although DM had far more experience of babies and children (not all her own).

I have a little grandson who was very ill for first few months of life and still has medical problems. He's had a dummy because otherwise his mum, who breastfed him till he was 1yr old wouldn't have been able to do anything. I'd never given my children dummies so the thought never occurred to me to suggest trying one for him, health visitor suggested it early on and it worked. So he was one of those tiny babies with a big dummy of whom you speak so despairing but it kept him happy when he would otherwise have been unhappy. He still uses it, he's nearly 15 months but we're not worried, he only gets it when needs it, will refuse it at times and it'll be much easier to stop him using it than it should if he sucked his thumb instead. His mum, 36, still sometimes ducks her thumb in her sleep when she's worried about things, I'd put money on my grandson not all sucking a dummy at that age!

Perhaps, like potty training, there is a 'window of opportunity' which, if missed, makes it all the more difficult.

DD had a dummy till she was three. Then we managed to convince her that she was big enough to throw it away. Her speech and her teeth were fine. DS refused to have a dummy or even to have milk from a bottle. Nothing rubber in his mouth at all. He sucked his thumb for years and his front teeth were horribly distorted until he stopped and they eventually evened out.