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(83 Posts)
Judy54 Mon 09-Sep-19 13:52:43

We have on occasions let our neighbours park on our drive (our car is in the garage) when they have had family staying for on or two nights. Now they are having a loft conversion done which will take 6 to 8 weeks and have asked to park on the drive whilst the work is being done. We have said on this occasion the answer is no and their response was that we are being unreasonable. We replied although we don't use the drive on a daily basis we cannot tie it up for this length of time as we have visitors as well as workmen expected ourselves. Unfortunately said neighbours have taken umbrage and said we are unhelpful. We said we were happy to be of help to them in the past but this time we cannot accommodate their needs. Any advice please?

cornergran Mon 09-Sep-19 18:10:11

If you do want to go for a compromise I guess it would have to be a daily agreement with your decision being accepted without argument. Having said that I certainly don’t think your refusal is being unreasonable, it’s a huge ask and assumption in your neighbours part.

SirChenjin Mon 09-Sep-19 18:24:15

Oldandverygrey - surely you don’t?!

hellymart Mon 09-Sep-19 18:27:39

I think they are being unreasonable. I would never ask to do that - it's cheeky and they've put you in a difficult situation by asking. None of us wants to fall out with our neighbours, so, as others have said, keep smiling and waving at them when you see them and hopefully it will blow over and they won't bear a grudge!

quizqueen Mon 09-Sep-19 18:36:49

My advice would be - Your neighbours can park down the road and walk to their house - I would never have let them use the drive in the first place. People start to think they can get away with asking for more as, has apparently happened in this instance.

Bathsheba Mon 09-Sep-19 18:56:39

Oldandverygrey please tell me you don't allow your neighbour to dictate to you about your bin? Surely not? shock

Bathsheba Mon 09-Sep-19 19:00:57

Judy54 it is certainly not you who is being unreasonable here! None of us want to fall out with our neighbours, but if there is a falling out then it will absolutely be on their head, not yours.

As others have said, just be cheery with them, as always, and don't refer to the parking issue again. Hopefully, they'll not want to fall out with you either, so will eventually be gracious about your decision.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Tue 10-Sep-19 10:44:05

They are taking the proverbial but you've been reasonable. Least said, soonest mended. Let's hope it blows over in time. I wonder if they've already told the builders their cars will not be in their way and it's caught them on the hop - their own fault for being presumptuous.

jaylucy Tue 10-Sep-19 10:45:20

They have asked, you have said no.
You have been very helpful in the past allowing them or their visitors to use your drive occasionally. Can they really not see the difference? I really can't see how they can say that you are being unreasonable!
Just a thought - if their car was parked on your driveway, and it was damaged/ broken into - where would that leave you legally or as far as insurance is concerned ? In this day of silly litigation, bears thinking about !

Worthingpatchworker Tue 10-Sep-19 10:52:31

It’s all a matter of phrasing......
Perhaps a response to them along the lines of.....yes, of course you can, but.....can we sort it on a day to day basis as we also have workmen calling and will need access to get our car out of the garage.
Personally....they should also have phrased it better....would you mind if .....we can sort it out day by day. We respect your needs.

I hope it resolves.

DotMH1901 Tue 10-Sep-19 11:04:07

Am I right in thinking you don't use your drive yourself but need it when you have visitors? Would your neighbours cars occupy all of your drive so that you couldn't let visitors park there at all? Having renovations done is a pain at the best of times and I can understand why your neighbours have asked you, they shouldn't have told you that you were being inconsiderate though, that's a bit much. Could you come to some sort of arrangement with them as suggested by other posters? Not suggesting that you hand over your drive without any restrictions but, if you are not using it yourself all the time then perhaps a compromise could be reached? If you do reach an agreement I do hope your neighbours appreciate your generosity and thank you for your kindness.

looby Tue 10-Sep-19 11:06:48

Stand firm on saying no as you never know how these things will go.Next door to us started a narrow one storey extension to the side of their house, it should have only taken a few weeks for the size of it but 5 years on it still isn't finished, despite their hammering and drilling every weekend. They started off with proper builders but they didn't stay long so are doing it themselves, it's like a never ending story. Their front & back gardens look like a scrapyard with building stuff chucked all over it and waist high weeds growing up in between the rubble. I feel sorry for them they must be fed up.

Madmaggie Tue 10-Sep-19 11:15:41

No you are not being unreasonable. If they wish to take umbrage then its their loss. They've certainly blotted their copybook, just be the bigger person & rise above it.

ReadyMeals Tue 10-Sep-19 11:16:04

They're being unreasonable. If you had never let them park there before, they wouldn't be expecting it now. Have they told all the other neighbors they're unreasonable or haven't they even asked them if they can use their drives. "Taken for granted" is an appropriate phrase here. Ignore their ire, there is a good chance that when the stress of the build is over and they're enjoying their new loft, they'll have a chance to reflect and realise they were unreaasonable. Just try not to react in the meantime, stick to your decision and try to do so as pleasantly as possible. Unless of course you've gone off them now and couldn't care less about getting on with them any more

Auntieflo Tue 10-Sep-19 11:23:01

Oldandverygrey, your neighbour is taking the proverbial.
Just put out your bin to suit you, not them.
What a bloomin' cheek.
As of this morning, we have our neighbours, very new car, parked on our paved front garden, as there is room and to spare.
They have had a huge amount of topsoil delivered, and didn't want the car scratched. At the moment, they are barrowing it through to the back.
We are very happy to do this, and we know it won't be there for more than a couple of days at the most. They are a lovely couple, and whenever we need help, they are there.

TrendyNannie6 Tue 10-Sep-19 11:24:45

Your rules your drive . What a cheek! Nowt as queer as folk. I would blatantly refuse also. So in that length of time Are they seriously expecting you to go knocking on their door to ask them to move their cars so you can get your car out to use, and then say I’m back you can move your car again I need to put mine in my garage, they are having a giraffe (Laugh) they think highly of themselves don’t they

TrendyNannie6 Tue 10-Sep-19 11:26:01

Car not cars

Emilymaria Tue 10-Sep-19 12:01:24

God - neighbours can be nightmares! I sympathise. We've even had to go to mediation. How about saying they're welcome to use your drive on the dates you don't need it - then give them a pretty exclusive list?

Rosina Tue 10-Sep-19 12:16:25

A great pity to fall out with neighbours over this as they must be anxious about getting access for workmen, but their attitude is not good. It sounds as if you will have to be negotiating with them whenever you want to go out, and if a builder has parked his lorry obstructing your garage door and then gone off for lunch or whatever it would be so inconvenient. Why not talk to them and say you can't have a situation where your car isn't available to you, and do they understand that it just won't work if you can't reach your car when you need it?

Hetty58 Tue 10-Sep-19 12:32:46

They asked and you, quite rightly, said no so there's the end of it. It's their problem to solve and you just carry on as normal being friendly. If they mention it again, just repeat the no, as you need the drive yourself.

I've had neighbours, in the past, who've made small requests at first (as if to test the water) then really taken liberties. Now I tend to say no whenever I can, suggest that they ask somebody else, don't chat and just say a quick 'Hello' and rush off as if I'm busy. A sad situation, really.

willa45 Tue 10-Sep-19 12:55:56

Your driveway, your rules. Restricting access to and from your own garage for two months or so, may work for them, but it doesn't work for you. If they press, you could tell them exactly that, but you don't owe them an explanation. Like many here have said, smile and move on....they'll get over it.

ClareAB Tue 10-Sep-19 13:03:18

If they're good neighbours I would seek a compromise. Building work is stressful and it's good to help each other out when and if you can. Life is too short!

Sussexborn Tue 10-Sep-19 13:08:21

You are definitely not being unreasonable but your neighbours are certainly taking the proverbial!

Once upon a time I would have agreed to do anything to help others but have learned the hard way that it just leads to more and more often unreasonable favors being asked or even assumed.

4allweknow Tue 10-Sep-19 13:09:16

YANBU your neighbours are. Who expects a neighbour to give up a driveway for 8 weeks. Are they at home all day that they need your drive when workers are at their house? No matter what they can surely find somewhere to park their cars during working hours. Just nod in the passing and hope they see how unreasonable they are being.

MadeInYorkshire Tue 10-Sep-19 13:22:47

Am I right in saying that your drive is empty and your car isn't being blocked in the garage as that is elsewhere?

I take it parking in your area is a bit of a nightmare? If they do have to park elsewhere, how much f a problem is it?

If they are good neighbours then I would have let them as you never know what is around the corner for you and one day you may need them too?

If bad neighbours then probably no!

You could compromise and say yes but not on so and so date as someone is coming to stay etc ...?

Hetty58 Tue 10-Sep-19 13:31:10

If they persist you could suggest that they advertise to rent a nearby drive. People here rent the drives of other folk who don't use them. The nearer the station, the more expensive they are!