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(83 Posts)
Judy54 Mon 09-Sep-19 13:52:43

We have on occasions let our neighbours park on our drive (our car is in the garage) when they have had family staying for on or two nights. Now they are having a loft conversion done which will take 6 to 8 weeks and have asked to park on the drive whilst the work is being done. We have said on this occasion the answer is no and their response was that we are being unreasonable. We replied although we don't use the drive on a daily basis we cannot tie it up for this length of time as we have visitors as well as workmen expected ourselves. Unfortunately said neighbours have taken umbrage and said we are unhelpful. We said we were happy to be of help to them in the past but this time we cannot accommodate their needs. Any advice please?

icanhandthemback Wed 11-Sep-19 00:29:35

GreenFran87, don't you think that the neighbours were being unneighbourly when they started calling Judy54 unreasonable for not wanting people parking on their drive for very valid reasons? If they had been nice about it and asked Judy54 to see if there was a compromise to be had and gave her time to think about it, I'd probably be encouraging her to find a way forward. However, they were rude so they reap what they sow. It sounds to me like they are rather "entitled" and this will be a good lesson that the world is not theirs to rule!

sarahellenwhitney Wed 11-Sep-19 09:28:55

Start as you mean to go on.

Hetty58 Wed 11-Sep-19 10:01:00

I have 'entitled' neighbours that I'm surface-friendly with (but dislike intensely). We exchange small Christmas gifts and chat occasionally (grrr).

Examples of their demands and/or crimes:

Can I please:

never have bonfires or barbeques? (they don't like it)

stop my dog barking? (she doesn't often)

remove my tree as it's leaves sometimes go on their lawn?
(I actually did, but wish I hadn't now)

ask my neighbour on the other side to put out his bonfire?
(reluctantly did)

tell my daughters not to sunbathe in the garden? (er, nope)

stop my cat going in their garden? (bit difficult)

ban my guests from smoking outside? (not really)

prevent any plants from growing through or over the fence?
(bit difficult again, but I'll try)

stop my grandchildren being noisy in the paddling pool?
(probably not, no)

tell visitors not to park across my drive as they like to pull out that way? (WTF?)

remove my fence so that they can drive in/out across my drive (no, actually!)

tell other neighbours to remove their van from outside my house (why and why me?)

things they did (or do) without even asking:

built their extension on my land

put their scaffolding on my drive, patio and roof

park across my drive

told my friend firmly that she couldn't park across my drive

cut back every millimeter of encroaching vegetation and fling it over the fence (whereas I trim their monster hedge and dispose of the clippings)

poison my plants with weedkiller

build high decking and destroy our privacy

(worst of all) make an incredible racket every (all) weekend with hedge trimmer, lawnmower, strimmer and powerwasher, deafening then drenching us!

wonderful people, neighbours!

blue60 Wed 11-Sep-19 13:50:45

We have similar problems on our close. Some neighbours have permanently fallen out over parking. We paid to have our drive lengthened to accommodate more than two vehicles, and have allowed neighbours to use it while we are away. In our position, if the neighbour's car didn't get in the way of our own access we would probably agree, but if we needed the space ourselves then they would have to find an alternative.

I must say though, people will and do take advantage of good nature, so if you feel uncomfortable then stick with what you have said. It's their problem, not yours.

Judy54 Wed 11-Sep-19 17:17:29

I have taken up the points made that circumstances change and that one day we might need our neighbours help. A little background on that: My Husband has ongoing health problems and following an operation last year he was unable to drive for a while (I am a non-driver) other neighbours rallied round and took him to hospital appointments and helped me with shopping and lifts. The neighbours asking to park on our drive offered no help at all even though they knew about his health issues. They appear to have forgotten that when my Husband was fit and well he was known as Mr DIY and popped over many times to do work for them including carpentry and sorting out their electrical and plumbing problems( as he did for other neighbours). This is not about us saying you did not help us so we are not going to help you, it is simply that we do not want anyone parking on our drive for more than a night or two.

Hetty58 Wed 11-Sep-19 19:57:28

Judy54, stick to your guns/refusal and let them find a solution (or some other mug to impose upon). Of course, you'd help them in an emergency but you have every right to say no.

Margs Thu 12-Sep-19 12:54:20

Only 6 to 8 weeks? More like 6 to 8 months - I know this from life experience.

Or maybe I just got unlucky and picked lazy-arse builders.