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Cannot get to sleep!!

(63 Posts)
whywhywhy Thu 26-Sep-19 02:27:55

I am getting worse as I get older. I just cannot get to sleep and it isn't made any better by the fact that my husband can just drop off in seconds. He says that I "talk" myself out of sleep!! I have tried Nytol without any success. Read till really late and kept off the computer. Knitted till my arms ached and even tried going to bed soon. Right now it is 2.25am and here I am on the computer wide awake. I don't sleep during the day either but I do feel like crap when I have a really bad night. Has anyone got any solutions. Maybe it is just me awake at this time in the morning and the rest of the world (northern hemisphere) are all awake. Help cos I think I am going mad!x

Esther1 Thu 26-Sep-19 02:46:24

I don’t sleep either - I feel your pain. I just don’t feel tired enough to sleep, but too tired to get up and do anything useful or even entertaining. It’s tedious isn’t it?

Ginny42 Thu 26-Sep-19 03:01:11

Me too! This is the second night. My computer has been playing up and won't play the music I normally listen to to help take my mind off things. Google spa music if you like to listen to gentle music. I've decided to get up and do something. I've managed to get myself wound up because the Dr has referred me for a Halter test on Friday and I'm very concious of my heartbeats now. Foolish woman that I am! Hope you manage to get some sleep soon. Perhaps you've nodded off already...

Esther1 Thu 26-Sep-19 03:31:02

Still awake. I will take your advice and put on some spa music. I keep getting out of bed, potter about a bit, eat rubbish food and then try and sleep again - I annoy myself. Good suggestion about music - will try this so fingers crossed - I have a lot to do later - particularly with little grandchildren and I need to be on the ball. Try not to fret about your heartbeats Ginny 42 - every worry is magnified in the early hours.

Lyndiloo Thu 26-Sep-19 03:34:36

Your husband could be right! The trouble is, that once we get a problem of any kind, we keep focusing on it. And that makes it even worse. Once it's in your head, you can't forget it.

Get some mantras for yourself, and repeat, and repeat them throughout the day. You've got to re-educate your brain!

"I always sleep well, and wake up feeling refreshed."

"I love going to bed and sleep soundly."

Make yourself a specific time for going to bed. Think to yourself, "How lovely to get into bed, and relax."

Maybe half-an hour's reading, while you're drinking a hot, milky, drink ..? Or even a glass of wine ...? (Don't forget your mantras!) Then snuggle down and drift off.

Lyndiloo Thu 26-Sep-19 03:39:23

P.S. This won't happen overnight. You've obviously had this problem for some time. But persevere - you're be glad you did.

BlueBelle Thu 26-Sep-19 03:55:53

You re husband is completely right it’s your mind that is keeping you awake
I go to sleep easily then wake after four hours this has gone on for years but I just go with it I don’t let it concern me and that’s the difference
If you accept instead of fighting it you will be far more relaxed and likely to drop off than if you are constantly worrying
lydiloo is right try and find something mundane to go over in your mind

Katyj Thu 26-Sep-19 07:17:44

I occasionally use phenergan,bought from the chemist.I use it for 3 or 4 nights and then I'm able to sleep better, it seems to get me back in a good routine.

Witzend Thu 26-Sep-19 07:58:33

I often don't sleep well at all. No cast-iron solutions I'm afraid, but what I often do is (apart from just more readimg, on the Kindle so as not to disturb dh). go downstairs, make some cocoa (I find drinking choc. over sweet) then take myself into the spare room and read a book (probably better than a screen) or listen to the BBC World Service.
Which may be either a) very interesting , or b) finally send me off.

Sara65 Thu 26-Sep-19 08:06:53

Oh ladies, I feel for you! I’m more a wake up at three-ish and then not get back to sleep, but last night for some reason, I slept fairly well!
Not all good news though, as I woke up feeling stiff, and with a headache.

petra Thu 26-Sep-19 08:39:02

Many years ago I went to a sleep therapist. He explained using either mantras or visualisation. My first thought was: this is too simple. But it works!
The problem is: people expect results immediately. They don't understand that your re-training your brain to go to sleep. It's the same problem that people have who take up meditation. They want results now! You have to work at it.
I'm in such a habit with 'my' visualisation that it's literally about 5 seconds and I'm off for 8 hrs.

I've tried to help so many people with this ( the information that I paid for) over the years. But most people say "it's not working" this after trying for a few nights.
My response is: if you can't be bothered to put the 'work' in, carry on with your sleepless nights.

Alima Thu 26-Sep-19 08:43:43

BlueBelle, your sleep pattern sounds very similar to mine. Do you make do with four hours or nap during the day. Trying to fathom out what to do for the best. (The upside is most of the quiet jobs are done between 3.30 and five!)

Sussexborn Thu 26-Sep-19 08:52:38

I rarely sleep more than 6 hours and just accept that’s how it is. I often use sleep/relaxation exercises from YouTube. I look for ones lasting 20- 30 minutes and usually drop off quite quickly. They are very good for relaxation during the day.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Thu 26-Sep-19 09:03:59

I've not been sleeping well lately. I had to have puss put to sleep last week which has preyed on my mind - as do other worries.

I try to visualise nice things - a carpet of bluebells beneath shady trees, the perfect cottage, what I'd do with a lottery win, Jeremy Ckarkson saying, 'Congratulations, you've won a million pounds!' And so on, but they keep me awake.

Luckygirl Thu 26-Sep-19 09:41:48

I have a tiny iPod with headphones in a headband (the sort you see joggers with - but it is a "sleepband" with flat phones so you can lie on them comfortably) and I have on there a recording of the sea. They have obviously recorded it at night as there are no sounds of people at all - just the waves rolling in and the seabirds. And I also have one of birdsong recorded in a wood. Both these help me enormously when I cannot sleep. Very restful.

TerriBull Thu 26-Sep-19 09:45:40

Yes another bad sleeper here, once upon a time I slept the sleep of the dead, that all stopped around the time of the menopause. Symptoms include restlessness, mind racing and anxiety, all collude to keep us awake. I know I do sleep in a sketchy sort of way, husband tells me when he does one of his several trips to the loo in the night I'm asleep, actually I'm not always because I'm aware of him getting up, occasionally when he pads off to the bathroom I say "I'm awake" just to disprove his theories about my sleep pattern sad

billericaylady Thu 26-Sep-19 10:07:01

Hi ya
I managed to get to sleep but wake up during the night ..lay there for a while then go down to sofa. Its particularly bad atm as I was made redudant in March and I have recently moved in with partner so adjusting. I am thinking if listening to meditation..hopefully one of us will get some sleep too ♡

Hm999 Thu 26-Sep-19 10:09:50

I listen to Audible books to switch off.

nettyandmasey Thu 26-Sep-19 10:09:57

I have had problems sleeping in the past, a routine helps me. Go to bed at 10 with a hot black currant and read. Set the alarm so I always get up at same time regardless of how much sleep I had. It may not work for you, but it does for me.

Allsaints55 Thu 26-Sep-19 10:14:13

I hate to say it but HRT . I slept like a log when I was on it and had a specialist say yes it’s been said it improves sleep . I’m off it now 2 months and I’m up and only getting odd hours thu the night . I’m seriously thinking of going back on it . A good nights sleep makes you feel on top of the world! Exercise good too ? X

GrandmaJan Thu 26-Sep-19 10:15:06

Sometimes we just get out of the routine of sleeping or falling asleep. As we get older it becomes more common. I have tried Nytol and Phenergan in the past particularly when I was stressed at work but they left me with a headache the next morning. Have you discussed this with your GP? There is medication such as Melatonin that can help and it’s not addictive

Coconut Thu 26-Sep-19 10:18:44

I’ve downloaded numerous chilled sounds from my past on Spotify and listen to them on low volume at night. A nostalgic trip down memory lane usually helps me enormously. Lionel, Barry White, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder etc ....

TrendyNannie6 Thu 26-Sep-19 10:26:01

I feel for you as I’m the opposite sleep like a log within mins of getting in, I don’t know whether you have tried relaxation music, waves, dolphins, soothing pan pipes music in background, my husband is a night worker he used to find it hard to sleep but we invested in Egyptian cotton sheets n duvet covers so soft so he drifts off quicker now, we were going to buy a Himalayan salt lamp but since did all this no problem sleeping so didn’t bother,

rubysong Thu 26-Sep-19 10:30:37

You are not going mad whywhywhy. It's probably the menopause to blame. I often get up in the night and read a bit, then back to bed with a hot wheat bag. My sister swears by three ginger biscuits just before going to bed. I think there is something to be said for carbs at bedtime. Last night I had three Ryvitas and had a really good night. I stay away from computer or TV as I think that makes me more awake.

Ellianne Thu 26-Sep-19 10:44:50

It is horrible. I've spent the past couple of years trying various sorts of remedies to get more sleep all to no avail. I take ages to drop off, then after an hour or two I wake up and then just doze til morning.
I frightened to stay at other people's houses or even in hotels because you can't get up and start making drinks, watch tv or flushing toilets. Also I feel lethargic in the daytime.