Sorry for the essay but I wanted your opinions and thought I should say it all instead of drip drip.
We’ve been close friends with A&B for about 3 years (more with A than B tbh). We’re currently totally remodelling a bungalow we bought and A told me recently how B was wondering how the builders were getting on, as had been about 4-5 weeks since their last visit. As we were all going to the cinema together in a city about an hour away, we visited to discuss arrangements and I suggested that they visit the bungalow and we go for a cuppa afterwards (house isn’t habitable so couldn’t offer any hospitality). Nothing was confirmed as we went on to discuss other things. On the day of the visit I discussed this visit with A via text, agreed a time (difficult as had to discuss if there’d be time for their lunch before or after the visit with what A had to do that morning) and I again reiterated the invitation to a cuppa afterwards.
When they visited later, B didn’t really seem interested in the house (beyond satisfying curiosity) and frankly couldn’t wait to get away. Because I’d asked twice I didn’t feel like asking again about coffee so the visit ended and off they went!
So hubby and I went off to get some coffee at a place we’d not been to before but enroute to where we had to go next.
But lo and behold A&B we’re parking up to visit the same place we were heading to! I just couldn’t go in and felt awful as though I wasn’t good enough for them to have a cuppa with, and I text them. I got told that they wanted some couples time and she’d arranged it with her husband 2 days previously. Whilst I have absolutely no problem with the fact they wanted couples time, why didn’t they just decline the invitation? Why just ignore the fact I’d asked twice? Unfortunately I was so upset that I said that if we weren’t good enough to spend time together having a cuppa and chat (as wouldn’t at the cinema) then we weren’t going to the cinema as planned so they could have even more time together! Writing this down seems a bit petty now but I was really upset that they didn’t have the decency to decline (either on text or in person at the bungalow or when initially asked) instead of simply ignoring me. But they don’t think they have done anything wrong to apologise for, but even that has made me wonder if I actually really know them at all! So AIBU to think that they don’t respect us as friends and I should cool off the relationship?
CatterySlave1 Wed 23-Oct-19 22:14:14
wildswan16 Wed 23-Oct-19 22:25:26
M0nica Wed 23-Oct-19 22:32:53
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FarNorth Wed 23-Oct-19 23:30:36
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FlexibleFriend Thu 24-Oct-19 10:38:06
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grannybuy Thu 24-Oct-19 11:13:01