Gransnet forums


Don’t want to go

(113 Posts)
Ohmother Sun 03-Nov-19 18:39:29

My neighbour and friend of many years is having a 70th suprise birthday party thrown by his daughter. I really don’t like the daughter as she and most of her family are snobby, looks down their noses at ‘plebs’ and are very opinionated. I am assertive so I generally just laugh at the things her father tells me the daughters says. Her word is law in his eyes by the way.

I don’t wish to meet up at this party with the rest of the snobs in the family. Should I go or should I just take my friend out to lunch to mark the occasion as I’d planned? I know he would like me there but I’m dreading the occasion.?

Boumas Tue 05-Nov-19 14:14:42

Good luck whatever you decide...

Ohmother Tue 05-Nov-19 21:17:07

I went. It was OK. I haven’t got an ‘infertility’ complex anymore. ?

annep1 Tue 05-Nov-19 21:25:30

Good. I hope you behaved yourself?. Was the daughter nice to you?

Jacks1 Wed 06-Nov-19 10:38:44

Be brave and be bold. Hold your head up high. Make it a challenge to yr own personal self esteem and go. For these reasons alone you will feel better that you had gone.

Alexa Wed 06-Nov-19 10:53:00

This was a fertile discussiongrin Good for you Ohmother.

Eloethan Wed 06-Nov-19 11:44:36

I can understand you feeling uncomfortable about going - they sound horrid. But, if it were me, I would go as it is about celebrating your friend's birthday and he might feel hurt if you didn't attend. Even if you made up a supposedly plausible excuse for not going, there would, I think, always be a niggling doubt in his mind that you just hadn't wanted to go.

Why not go but not stay too long?

PamelaJ1 Wed 06-Nov-19 12:00:04

Well done, I’m sure you did the right thing. You use relieved.

Namsnanny Wed 06-Nov-19 14:27:04

Glad you went and it was ok Om did you stay longer than an hour and sample the canapés ?
That’s what I would have done!
Then left when the conversation became boring boasting or demeaning, as is often the case at these things!!
I have a short fuse with one-upmanship competitions grin!

Namsnanny Wed 06-Nov-19 14:34:43

Just read read my post and it looks as though I was advocating stuffing my face for free then leaving in haste shockgrin
I really meant stay as long as you are comfortable and it would be rude not to try the nibbles!!

Namsnanny Wed 06-Nov-19 14:36:28

As for infertility issues, not alone at a party for 70’s winkgrin

makemineajammiedodger Thu 21-Nov-19 09:23:34

Don’t go if you don’t want to. You’ll be miserable and possibly not exactly the life and soul of the party. Just make up a prior appointment and see your friend on your own later. Simples!

Thomas67 Sat 23-Nov-19 22:11:31

Just go and be polite.Its your friends birthday. If you don’t go it looks like you don’t like your friend enough to bother to go.No need to make loads of excuses. to leave . Say to your friend you are off and you will go out soon .Thank his daughter for the food and inviting you and just go! Don’t make such a big deal of the snobby daughter kill her with charm and kindness.