Putting a DOG before a child? ABIU??

Tedbear having the dog home bit behind a stairgate or in the security of its crate may mitigate stress/risk with a party of older humans. But a toddler wanting to see "doggy" and poking little fingers in could stress it out.

Depends on how much you trust the 3yr olds parents I suppose. Some let their 3yrs old have the run of places even if there are risks like hot drinks and crated dogs

Ppl saying all dogs with any potential to bite should be put down are saying that all dogs should be put down. All dogs have their triggers/limits!

If the owner says SMALL children are a problem that does not mean that the dog cannot be around any humans.

What an awful situation, why can't your cousin see sense?
Can they not lock the dog in a room and why is this dog not muzzled if they knowingly know the dog will bite?

How is it "awful"?

Bit dramatic!
If the OP was really eager for her GC to meet the NZ family she would have arranged something.

The cousin is obv more interested in the NZ visitors than the OP since the cousins are going to the effort and expense of hosting them.

Absolutely agree with you notanan. I was merely pointing out that IF the dog was as territorial and unpredictable as the OP says (and we don't know this dog do we?) then it would be unwise of the owners to put anyone at risk? How many people would do that?

So I was leaning towards the hosts just not wanting very young children there - which I can understand - and is using the dog as an excuse in the hope that would save them saying - we don't want toddlers disrupting things! Could be wrong but anything else doesn't make sense t.b.h.

If I was OP I would go to the party. Stop feeling hard done to. She has been invited and will meet lots of long lost relatives. The parents can decide if they want to get a babysitter or one of them goes or whatever. After all it is just a one day/evening so why make a fuss? On my second wedding we didn't invite very young children - and that was without a doggie excuse. Nobody took offence as far as I know and were glad of the opportunity to get out by themselves. Their party, their prerogative...

Notanna2 I grew up with a dog he never atempted to bite anyone although he would bark when needed. So brilliant and beautiful guard dog.
It's rubbish to write all dogs have their triggers therefore you are saying all dogs are dangerous which is false but if in this case its a danger to small kids it should be muzzled.

but if in this case its a danger to small kids it should be muzzled.

Or kept separate from small kids. Which the host is doing.

And does with their own GC by using a kennel.

Oh dear Notanna 2 I guess you have no compassion for Magpie. Therefore to have compassion for anything? Other than being on the defence??

OP,

How close is your relationship with NZ relatives?

It's the first visit in 10 years. Do you talk frequently on the phone, Skype, etc?
Have you gone to visit them?

Notanna2 you wrote all dogs have their triggers therefore they should be muzzled.
I think you will have an answer for everything.
So I won't waste my time with you. I was here showing support to another grandmother we should all stick together. But all the best I'll ignore your many comments in future

Jishere it is certainly not rubbish to write all dogs have their triggers. ALL dogs have teeth and have the potential to bite! It is their only safety valve.

I have had many dogs - worked with many more and I still would never trust a dog implicitly no matter what. My parents had the most adorable, laid back, Golden Retriever, never ever showed any aggression ....but when my daughter, then, aged 3 funnily enough, jumped off the couch on top of him....he bit her leg...it was an automatic reaction from being hurt. It was quite a bad bite and we took her to hospital. Dog was mortified after and so were my parents. I didn't demand the dog be put down as was we saw exactly what happened...he was sleeping, got jumped on, hurt and bit! So to say it is false is ridiculous. All dogs do have their limits and potential to bite!

It may be "my house", "my dog", "my party", etc but I wouldn't feel entitled to use any of them to exclude or hurt anybody's feelings. I'd love to see kids in family parties but not at serious ceremonies.

Your cousin's been very mean & petty IMO especially if you've always got on. Even if you haven't, this is not the way to go about it, using her dog.

She/he's been really reckless by being prepared to let loose a dog among his/her family reunion that has a history of biting. Has he/she considered the consequences of it for her/him self, others or her dog! They could be sued if the dog bit someone at the party or relationships could suffer. To be quite honest I wouldn't go because I wouldn't want to be around such a dog and I wouldn't be happy if my family took such a risk. It simply isn't worth it, is it?! I'd thank her for her kind invitation and apologise for not being able to go. If they probed, I'd say that I have a serous problem around territorial dogs.

Good grief, is this still rumbling on?

I would put money on them not wanting a 3 year old at the party.

That's all there is to it.

They should have been honest but decided to try and make an excuse.

Nothing more than that.

I agree it's upsetting I don't understand why some people value dogs more than they do children. But they do and as its her house she can invite who she likes. But if I was the parent of the child I wouldn't attend and I'm not sure I would go as grandparent either. Instead I would invite them to an alternative venue for a meet up. Perhaps a nice meal somewhere or a party in a church hall?

Notanna2 you wrote all dogs have their triggers therefore they should be muzzled

No I didn't.

Forget the dog for a minute

If you receive an invite you either accept or decline. You do not try to alter the invite to include someone who is not invited.

And that really is all there is to it!

Bahaha... ABSOLUTELY notanan2......

Oh and no YOU didn't write that all dogs should be muzzled. It was the person who accused you of writing that who wrote it. Sorry but am getting a bit giddy with the nonsense on this thread!!!

The unpredictable dog which is liable to react does adds a different dimension though.

I too think there is more to this than meets the eye. Some small children get very excited around dogs and "wind them up" , the dog, in turn becomes excited, and might nip the child without meaning to. Perhaps the hostess is afraid of this happening, though why she doesn't put the dog in day care beats me. I hope some solution is reached and you can enjoy meeting up with the relatives.

"Forget the dog for a minute

If you receive an invite you either accept or decline. You do not try to alter the invite to include someone who is not invited.

And that really is all there is to it!"

Exactly! It is a party you want to attend or not.

Lets remember the human aspect too

For the NZ relatives, what's their plan for the visit? Maybe this party was organized according to their wishes?

If I visit relatives every 10 years or so, the last thing I want is to be ping poging from one social event to the other. Exhausting.

Yes...SirChenjin but non of us actually know just how unpredictable the dog in question actually is do we?

As the hosts feel happy enough to host a party for a lot of people in her house, minus very young children, then we have to accept they know the dog better than we do?

I am actually fully in agreement with Notanan and Ooopsminty.

Think the hosts have decided no young children for whatever reason and IF the dog is liable to 'go' for any strangers I cannot for the life of me imagine they would put people at 'risk' and not know they would be liable IF the dog bit anyone there.

Whether any of us would do the same is not the issue as notanan said.....It has been decided and the OP cannot dictate what they should do with their dog in their home.

I am a dog owner and have a GC too - a dog who is territorial anyway I am sure will just love hoards of people visiting his/her territory (it could be aggressive because it is scared??) and if the poor thing gets even more scared because of it, I reckon anyone there could be at risk of being bitten!! The host is obviously aware of how it is as she puts it in kennels when her GC are visiting so I do think she is putting the whole party at risk by having the dog there at all - would be very interested to hear afterwards what happens!!

I never try to 'all stick together'.
Why on earth should we, when we all have our own opinions and thoughts?