To dislike his female friend?

Agree with Tigertooth

She could have a younger partner grrengran?

Sorry greengran

Her telling you secrets may have been an attempt to try and get info out of you, even try to get you moaning about DP.

She sounds not as unconscious as she appears.

I agree, keep your friends close but your enemies closer Flaxseed and show, don’t tell, how you and DP are close and getting closer.

Davidhs you always give such good, astute advice.

Flaxseed If he'd wanted to have a wild affaire with this manipulative woman, he would have done so long ago.

He's known her 8 years and yet never taken the lure, otherwise he'd have ignored you - and he hasn't.
He loves you and has future plans. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.

She, on the other hand, has. She's used a few psychological tricks to make you feel like an 'outsider' because she cannot afford to be seen to be getting rid of you openly.
Thank goodness you're a brilliant actress. Keep it up.

She's flogging a dead horse but hasn't quite realised yet, despite the hints, that poor old Dobbin has expired.

Worming her way in with his children is the latest, desperate plan. That's not going to work either. What does it take to get through to this eejit?

Why on earth would they want to hang out with a crazy person 15 years their senior?

The fact that your DP was frank enough to tell someone, in her presence, that you and he are thinking of moving in together, tells you he's happy with that and not looking for other 'interests'.

And maybe as a wee bonus, it was a hint to her too. you're wasting your time, lady

Your DP sounds too much of a gentleman to tell her outright that he doesn't fancy her and never will.

But it must be obvious to everyone else, after all this time.
Thick as two short planks she is.

She was a friend to your partner, he was a friend to her. They obviously liked each other and had things in common. If it was going to develop into a relationship it could and would have.
Maybe it’s quite simple - she appears confident but perhaps has other issues that aren’t obvious. Maybe she feels she’s going to lose a good friendship, once the two of you live together and is reacting to her disappointment. Obviously you have had some interactions with her but is it also possible that others are “stirring” also?
Also, do you need to regularly discuss her with your partner? Are you in danger of making a big thing out of a simple friendship? Would it feel the same if it was a male pal? Is she over compensating with his children as she’s panicking about losing contact with them all?
It’s all very difficult as so much about motives etc is unknown.

What a pain!! I agree totally with HappyBumblebee

This rings alarm bells in my head as I went through something very similar. It didn't end well... Keep an eye on her.

Nannan2

The tales I could tell about women on the make, not just with men but female relatives as well, they would make your hair curl. I haven’t heard personally about a man doing it but wealthy widows are vulnerable.
The likely reason they are not living together is children that are “baggage”, much easier to keep them separate.

Thanks for all of your views.

DP was definitely oblivious to her ‘ways’ until the first time I got upset. He’s more aware now and does all he can to reassure me. He’s attentive when we are all out together and whilst he likes me to attend these occasions, he understands when I either genuinely can’t make it, or I make an excuse.
She neither has a partner nor children. It doesn’t seem like she has many female friends, but I don’t really know her well enough.

I can’t expect my DP to distance himself from her as she is his friends cousin and they all enjoy that sport and getting together for a meal afterwards.

I did hear her discussing a ‘quiz night’ at our last meal but got distracted. If DP mentions this, I will be clear that I am not happy with other social occasions outside their mutual sport interest.

I am, admittedly pretty scarred by my other two long term relationships ending due to infidelity on their part.

We are hopefully getting together tonight and I think I will talk to him about it again as some comments at the last meal are eating away at me

Is there a nice chap you could introduce this woman to? She sounds a bit sad and as if she could do with some distracting.

Some other people commented as I wrote that last message.
Thank you.
You are all so wise and have reassured me

A similar thing happened to me many years ago when DH and I first got engaged. There was a girl who had known him and his family since they were children, in fact her sister was going out with his brother. When a group of us were on an evening out she followed me into the ladies and told me she was going to take him from me! I told her she should try, because if she could I would rather know then than after we were married.

When we returned to the group she suddenly sat on future DH's lap saying how tired she was - he looked horrified and immediately stood up - landing her on the floor! I later told DH what she had said. We would still see her on group evenings out but there was never any repeat of her actions

Your DP has made it clear he has no interest in her so I would ignore her antics which are designed to try to cause problems between you and DP. You could try laughing about it with him and tease him about his "admirer" Make a joke of it.

Hi.
I have posted so many times but never get a response so not sure if anyone can read my posts?
Can someone confirm wether or not they can?

Charlie2468, it's hard to tell if you are a wether or a ram! Or maybe a sham?

She is around 40, my partner is 62
His eldest child is 25

I have one of these to deal with a dysfunctional attention seeking demanding childlike personality
It was like reading my own story
I dilike her and she offended me so i decided to deal with it by telling her what i thought of her and advised her to see a psychologist
By refusing to be involved i shocked everyone
I do not take any notice of my partners interaction with her and stated
I chose to no longer have anything to do with her
Its very empowering and the sun still rises every day
When controlling toxic people realise they have no power over you they leave you alone

Flaxseed, you are absolutely right to dislike and distrust this woman.
You are also absolutely right in the way you are handling the situation.
Two things: if you feel ready to move in with your partner, do it sooner rather than later;
if you can possibly go on these sporting weekends, do.
She may not be impressing your partner, but she certainly is attempting to upset you.

This is the best answer in my mind.
You will end up being a post in the near future..
“ I didn’t see him leaving me for another woman”
You can see it, the writing is on he wall. The call to him and not to you was the clue.
You know it, hence this fairly detailed post. ?
Good luck

Back to the OP problem with DP’s friend. A couple of things: She possibly felt that your DP was a secure friend for life and some women like having courtiers,as it were. It happened to me when I first coupled with a man who had a few ‘female friends’ in a group he was in, the description you give us very familiar. You are an outsider and they want you out. It’s horrid.
Second, six years and you are still waiting for him to make a commitment to live with you? Mmmm. Is this his decision? Bit presumptuous.
Thirdly the other woman is twenty years younger you say... Is she younger than you? (She’s not in her 80’s greengran, oh if only, she would be fun)
So well done so far. I think you might seriously think of finding some hobbies and friends of your own as I fear you might be being taken for granted. I think she’s playing with you and he’s allowing it because his ego is flattered by her attention. You’re having to perform and act and that is not good for your soul.
He may have once fancied her and made a pass and was rejected ...and she feels he is still hers. You need more strings to your bow. And perhaps dare to say ‘ I’m not sure where this relationship is going...

She reminds me very much of my (not) DDiL. Blokes unaware, manipulative, etc, etc. Paste on the grin and avoid as much as poss.

I totally understand why you feel the way I do. However, I can also understand DP's point of view. She obviously enjoys the time the group spend together and is worried that the dynamics will change now you are part of the group, albeit a part-time one as you don't share their passion for the sport. And because you don't share that interest she naturally feels that your DP will gradually ease away from their small group. It might, perhaps, be awkward if it just her and the friend (who I've assumed is a male).
Having said that, her behaviour is still inappropriate and designed to cause the split rather than save it. I do think this is a tricky situation and that you're just going to have to leave it to your DP to make any necessary decisions.

Bradford Lass72 is spot on. He’s not interested in her. And I wouldn’t mind betting she may not be interested in him in that way but is an attention seeker rather than anything else. Why hasn’t she got someone of her own I wonder. There has to be a reason. It’s irritating but you have nothing to worry about. Some people just have to be the centre of attention. There are 2 people in my family like that so I know how annoying they can be. Try to appear indifferent and when she realises she isn’t getting the response she wants she’ll probably stop. I bet she’ll be off the scene before long.

I agree with other comments. She sounds single person so be careful. DP sounds nice. Getting close to his children, who are younger than her is a bit intrusive. Not sure how to cut the clinging vine. Move in if you think this would help, but your relationship sounds sound. You might need to attend more of the sporting events...

Be careful Flaxseed, a friend of mines husband had a female sporting partner, my friend recently found out that they had been having a full blown affair for twenty five years. He has now passed away and the partner has a share of his will. Get rid of her and move in with your man friend as soon as possible would be my advice.