To dislike his female friend?

I can rather relate to this, although the situation with my DH was rather different. DH’a first wife left him for a childhood sweetheart after 20 odd years of marriage. After a while he met and fell madly in love with another woman. They were in a relationship for a short while but she decided that they were better off as friends. He was still in love with her and so accepted the ‘friendship’.

A few months later he and I met and started dating, he was completely honest with me about everything. At first everything was okay-ish, but when he started to get serious about our relationship she threw himself at him BIG style and suddenly decided that she had made a mistake and wanted a relationship with him after all. Fortunately for me it was too late for him and he had committed to our relationship. We have now been together for a smidge under ten years and married for nine. We are very happy and I truly have married the kindest, sweetest man, he is my best friend. Obviously she is very long out of the picture.

I would recommend you carry on as you are doing, but keep a VERY close eye on her. Don’t force the situation, with enough rope she will hang herself.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you, sounds like you have a decent chap.

Beware, be very aware! I had a similar situation years ago. My husband and his friend were into a particular sport, which I had no interest in. At one point, his friend invited along his partner and her best friend (who was in an unhappy marriage at the time) to join them in the activity, as it was something they all enjoyed taking part in. I knew both of the women socially, and whilst it irritated me a little, because I felt a bit left out, I didn't feel it was fair to complain just because I wasn't interested in taking part.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, over time this developed into social gatherings afterwards, which I wasn't involved in. Then I discovered that the married woman had contacted my husband at his office to invite him out for lunch during the working week. I might add that I have never had any issues regarding trust as far as my husband is concerned, but I did feel unhappy when I found out about this. My husband actually did say that initially he thought nothing of it, that it was just a 'friend' inviting him out for lunch. But then, he chose not to tell me straight away, as something made him feel uneasy about the whole situation. Looking back, she was most definitely trying to weedle her way into my husband's affections. I was having none of it, and put my foot down. My husband agreed that the situation wasn't right, and stopped being involved with the little group activity. Our marriage was more important than that. We've not seen the woman in years, but I know she is now divorced, and I'm still happily married.

Don't let woman ruin your relationship. She may be happily single, and not interested in a relationship with your DP, but sounds like she doesn't want you to have one with him either.
Women's intuition is an amazing thing ... if you think there's something not quite right, then it probably isn't ...

@Flaxseed just to give you the heads up this thread has been featured on Mumsnet.
Disapprove of that myself. Mentioning it in case you notice any change in the type of replies you get.

No time to update at the moment, but bit concerned this has found its way to Mumsnet!
I came off of there years ago
Can I contact someone to get it removed?!

My understanding is that once you post on here you give up copyright. Biggest problems come when rags like the Daily Fail get hold of it.

A lot of good advice here but be very wary of her. There are single females who prefer other women's partners & never marry. They enjoy the misery they cause, note she let your partner know abt the chat but you had promised to keep her secret. You are being gas lighted by this person & she probably has a reputation of being an unpleasant person. Your partner must realise what she is doing and know it worries you.

Flaxseed GNHQ will remove a post on request if it gives too much info. I imagine Mumsnet admin will do the same if you ask them.

Thanks everyone.
I’ll be careful what I post in future

I really appreciate all of your views and managed to chat to DP about it last night.
He totally understands why I feel like I do as he was cheated on by his ex wife.

I have a single male neighbour whom I been friends with for years and DP has got to know him over the years.
I explained that there is no way he would behave as this woman does. He’s far too respectful.
He agreed that he would hate it if he did.

We have agreed that should I go to one of the meals again, I will kick him under the table if I am annoyed by something she says (as suggested by someone - thank you) and that he won’t socialise with her/them other than their shared interest.

There is no way I would insist he stops going to the matches as I know how much he enjoys them.
He really is a nice, kind man and it’s taken me all of my adult life to find a decent one, especially one who doesn’t get defensive when we discuss issues!
Neither of us want this to come between us, so instead of stewing on her antics in the future, we will discuss it straight away.

I’ll just carry on smiling sweetly in her company

Good plan Flaxseed. Your DP sounds lovely.

I'm SO pleased that you've been able to discuss how you feel openly with your DP, and that he understands, and has agreed that if the shoe were on the other foot he wouldn't like it.

Seems like you have nothing left to worry about, well done!

Sounds like you've found yourself a good one there, Flaxseed. Hold on to him, and don't let this silly woman come between you.