to think the length of time UK friends have to wait for funeral is cruel

We had to wait nearly 3 weeks for a cremation for both parents. It was awful but we were told that it was because it was winter.

I think in hot countries funerals are scheduled quickly. Suppose it goes back to lack of refrigeration historically? In Spain it’s quite usual to only be a couple of days. Jewish people (I think) have the funeral more or less straight away?

Mum died in March last year. My sister and I organised her funeral within 2 weeks. No post mortem, no long distance relatives. The funeral director is a family friend and was very supportive and professional. It was a humanist service and it was very comforting and personal about mum.
❤️

My husband`s cremation was 13 days after he died. At first, we thought it was too long, then realised that it allowed us more time to contact people, and to decide on and make arrangements for music, order of service, flowers, etc.

2 week wait for my Dad's funeral and my MIL. Awful, awful time.

Islamic funerals are held 24 hours after death.

Switzerland 8 million
U.K. nearly 67 million Could make a difference !!!
I don’t think it’s cruel at all the average time is two weeks and that gives people time to make travel/work arrangements and make all the necessary bookings the two weeks for both my Mum and Dad gave me time to get over the huge shock and make all the necessary arrangements

"Islamic funerals are held 24 hours after death."
As with Jewish funerals, inkcog.
There's a belief that the soul of the deceased is hovering in limbo before being laid to rest and going peacefully to the next world.
With all the necessary prayers etc.

jura2 Thu 19-Dec-19 14:47:15

"The shortage of facilities is responsible and should be remedied. GG13, of course if it is a choice, then it is different."
-

You have started a thread about the UK v Switzerland but what is your evidence that there is a shortage of facilities which in turn ' is responsible' for a funeral to take place?

I toam wondering what lies behind your choice of topic for a thread Jura ?

“I too am” etc

Daisymay ''We had to wait nearly 3 weeks for a cremation for both parents. It was awful but we were told that it was because it was winter.''

yes, this is why I posted as friends recently have complained about how awful 3 + weeks was. So I am glad to see that the wait doesn't seem to be upsetting for many on GN, and that in many cases it was a choice.. As said, nothing wrong if it is a choice and not imposed by lack of facilities.

POGS, this post is defnitely not UK v Switzerland, at all. Bleubelle, the size of the country or population is irrelevant- facilities, be they schools, hospitals or crematoriums- should be in keeping to allow for a good service.

Posts crossed Maw- as said, the experiences friends have had recently, which really upset them.

In N Ireland 3-4 days is the norm unless death has occurred in suspicious circumstances.

Jewish funerals are usually the next day after death. I'm not having a funeral at all, just an 'unaccompanied' pre-paid cremation. My family can then scatter my ashes.

When my Mum died, I hated the waiting between her death and her funeral as I felt as if I was in Limbo and couldn’t get on with my life.
On the other hand, when my Greek Mother-in-law died, her funeral took place so quickly that it was impossible for us to go as you can’t just drop everything and leave.
A happy medium old be good.

I couldn’t just ‘get on with my life’ anyway. I was too raw.

Sorry Phoebes that might have come over as a criticism.
It isn’t.

I think what posters are saying is that it is really important to have a choice, quick if that is what suits you and your family or a period of reflection before the service if that is what is needed.

My sister died on 24th of the month and her funeral wasn’t until 17th of the next month. That was the earliest available date. Her children found it very difficult as they felt they were in a kind of no man’s land until her bodily remains had been dealt with. It felt wrong to them to be doing anything frivolous when they’re mothers body was still at the funeral home.

They were told that the delay was normal nowadays, caused by huge demand for their services with an aging population, and also because some types of funerals get preference, especially if a post mortem is required.

For our family such a long delay was difficult but I also realise that for some, when families are scattered, or the death unexpected, more time is better. When I moved to Scotland, it used to be a standard three days but nowadays two weeks seems to be the norm. A new crematorium opened in this area and it seems very busy. You can also get married there, though I’ve yet to be invited to such a wedding!

Absolutely, Urmstongran

*their mother’s

I think that having no funeral lets a lot of friends and relatives 'off the hook'.

Let's face it, most people don't actually want to attend, but feel that they really must, to show respect and offer support to loved ones.

Overall, funerals are an ordeal, rather than a help. Life is 'on hold' until they're done. I've paid for the cremation and given the other five thousand to the kids (to enjoy - far better than paying some funeral director). How they have the cheek to charge so much, for so little and rip people off - at such a distressing time - astounds me!

We can only speak personally on this subject, but I would want at least two weeks to arrange a funeral, maybe three.
I wouldn’t want to rush the arrangements and would want time to be more composed.
Jewish and Islamic funerals are always done quickly here.

A well arranged funeral gives both comfort and closure.

Maybe I'm morbid, but if I knew someone well I'm more than prepared to go and pay my respects.

I disagree lemongrove. Everyone has to take time off, arrange travel, childcare, outfits and flowers - and a lot of us find them very boring!