to think the length of time UK friends have to wait for funeral is cruel

In my workplace you only get compassionate leave for the funeral of immediate family: parent, partner or child.

Otherwise you have to arrange unpaid or annual leave if there is time for cover to be found. Or shift swap. 2 or 3 days wouldnt be long enough notice to take leave as all leave requires cover.

Unless someone has left an exact plan of their wishes for their funeral service, it could take some time to organise and agree with family the kind of service they would have liked, whether religious, humanist or whatever.

I am left wondering why the question was asked. Not political, I hope.
It's rather a sensitive subject to make political capital out of.

I am still reeling after the sudden loss of my lovely husband nearly 2 weeks ago and can now understand why things take so long,when circumstances mean you need an autopsy you have to wait for the coroners report before you can even register the death and I don't have that report as yet (maybe today) so you can only pencil in a possible date for the service which is 13th January so such a terrible sad time for us to have to wait.

Oh dear, glammana, I am so sorry.
The same thing happened with my dear brother as the reason for his death was different to the consultant's diagnosis. It was an error on the part of the consultant in the first place who was not precise.

When I lived in Ireland they would have the funeral within a few days. Having to arrange my dad’s funeral here in the UK it took 2 weeks and during that time we were busy doing something every day to ensure everything was in place. I often wonder how on earth loved ones can come to terms with losing a loved one and having to organise a funeral in a matter of days - but they did it and their funerals were hugh out there too.

It was about 2 weeks for both my mother and my father, and I do remember that time as being particularly difficult and wishing it was shorter. I think most people probably need a week to plan, but the second week really drags and you can't really do anything else even for a brief respite as this big event is kind of hanging over you and keeping you trapped in the circumstances of the death itself. I found after the funeral at least you could stop thinking about the events surrounding the death and start remembering the person.

Just want to add that I am not saying you should be able to stop thinking about the circumstances of death, mine were fairly uncomplicated and due to illness, but I know for others the situation will be complicated by crime or anger at poor medical treatment etc

For my Canadian Uncle, 3 days notice, then 3 weeks later his wife. Could not attend either ? My late DH was 2 weeks due to dying on Friday night, Post Mortem on Monday, funeral directors Tuesday then join a long queue for the very busy Crematorium. My grandfather however died 14th December, cremated 17th and buried 24th. Worst Christmas ever

I wish I had the time to attend my fathers funeral on the other side of the country. I had only been told he was in the hospital on the Wednesday and had better get there fast, he wasn’t expected to live. I’m rushing around trying to organise my daughters to go with me and say their goodbyes, to awake the next morning to see on FB that he died through the night written by my niece and that he had been in hospital for 10days prior. Sisters didn’t ring me and 15 months later they still haven’t rung. The funeral was held on the Friday, none of us made it to the funeral from my side of the country. My sisters and their families will never be forgiven by myself or my daughters for this. I am the eldest of 3. It hurts very much and wish we had more time to arrange travel to be there to say our goodbyes

A local friend passed this week, May she RIP. Her funeral is 6th January.

Kimrus sorry to hear you had this. Parts of my much wider family omit people from funeral notices sometimes. My last lovely great aunt passed in February this year, 2 miles away. Loads of us didn’t hear until April, by chance. Awful behaviour.

I know that in Australia, the funeral is usually about a week after the person has died, sometimes even quicker.
Here in the UK it is usually at least 2 weeks.
When my mum died, it was nearer a month - the vicar was "on retreat" and then the funeral director had to coordinate the church service with the crematorium.
When my dad died, even though he hadn't wanted a church service, the local vicar still had to be approached to take the service at the crem before anyone else could be contacted and guess what? She was on holiday! So this time it was 3 weeks before the funeral could be held even though it was to be in only one venue!
There basically has to be so many people involved before anything happens - still trying to puzzle out why the vicar had to be involved if it as just to be a cremation !

My condolences Kimrus . That is so hard.
On Paws last day I was told that anybody who wanted to see him had to come “today”
Thankfully a sixth sense meant the DDS were all with me already and their husbands and Paws sisters came right away. As did a priest to give him the last rites and a dear friend, deacon at his church.
Somehow his brother (perhaps in denial) did not react in the same way and I have found it hard to forgive him.

Delays also be caused by the Coroner deciding if a Post Mortem is required, if so there can be a further delay whilst that takes place. We had a delay with my Mums funeral as one of two doctors required to sign the certificates was in leave!

On reflection, my parents died over 30 years ago, and in our family nobody had moved very far away ( in fact, not many in the village did). It was also the custom to keep the body at home, and keep the curtains closed. Everyone in the street closed their curtains when the hearse was leaving. The spouse and close family would never have left the house till after the funeral, and you wouldn’t dream of having a television or radio on. I’d imagine that would be hard to sustain for a month!

I will also add, neither sister had told me of the deaths of 2 cousins I was close too either. The last one being I had read in the newspaper that I subscribe to now that is the area I use to live in and the other cousin I was told about when I had spoken to my aunt to get details of contacts for the other cousin. Unfortunately some families are like this so I have learnt. In my heart, I know my father would have been furious at the turn up of events. My mother is still alive but has dementia and is in care and I get weekly emails from here carers telling me what is happening with her but she doesn’t know me now and she wouldn’t have understood my father dying either.

When DH died I was in a total daze for a week, despite it being expected. My sister in law dealt with the immediate arrangements and it was only after that week that I began to feel even slightly able to deal with funeral arrangements. Without sister-in-law's support I don't think I could have coped.

"still trying to puzzle out why the vicar had to be involved if it as just to be a cremation !"

That puzzles me too, Jaylucy. When my cousin died, her family conducted a secular ceremony at the crematorium. People spoke about her and her daughters read their own poems. It was a beautiful and memorable funeral.

The last funeral i knew about in friends was 2 weeks!

When my brother died it was a Saturday evening, by the time i was told,[ as had moved temporarily for house renovations and sister didn't know my address],i didn't have time to get to the funeral as it was in Wales,and i'm in Yorkshire
The funeral was the following thursday

It was more than a month for my mother. She died about a week before the whole family were all going to be away for at least a week for a dd's big wedding do in France. So it had to wait until well after we were after we were all back.

But it meant plenty of time for everyone - especially the far-flung ones - to make arrangements to come.

TBH I was just relieved that she'd died before we were all away, and not that bit later. As it was, one of us was with her the whole time during her last couple of days - not that she was aware - she was 97 with advanced dementia and hadn't known us for some time.

In the end her send-off turned into a happy family party which her former self would have thoroughly enjoyed.

Might add that Jura's OP did rather strike me - perhaps unfairly - as another dig at the UK, and another 'how much better X or Y is in Europe'.
Apologies if I'm wrong on that,

Well, I think there are enough posts from around the country now to show that there isn't a cruel amount of time to wait, so I wonder how long juras friends had to?

I work for an undertaker. The wait is not only for crematorium space, it depends on the family requirements - if they want a non standard coffin ( wicker etc) it has to be ordered to size, if a vicar is required it has to fit in with him/ her availability ( they are surprisingly busy!) , same goes with the venue for the wake and/or caterer. The undertaker will usually work flat out to meet the family’s wishes - most prefer a few weeks to get used to the idea that their loved one has passed on.
Alternatively there is a company that collects the deceased and takes it to the crematorium for a non attended funeral. It is much cheaper but you cannot attend and will not even be told the time/date in advance ( because it is fitted in at unsocial times or space between other funerals). The family can then make their own arrangements for a service or get together for whenever they like.

23 days before we could hold the cremation service and a week later for the ashes to be interred. I felt it was too long.
I was taken into hospital the day before the funeral and missed all of it. I was ashamed to miss it. Still feel awful about it now.

It is not true that you do not get told when a deirect disposal cremation takes place, nor that you cannot attend.

You can be there at the time but there is "service" or curtainey bit. And almost all Direct disposal companies tell people the time and date. It slots in between "full" services so you dont chose it but you DO get told when it will be and you can physically be there.

with public holidays then bank holidays we had to wait nearly 3 weeks to bury my dad,