Still not met three week old grandson.

Presumably because you know that your in laws or your parents aren’t unreasonable people who make entitled demands?

What if I think they are unreasonable and entitled and they think they are not?

Well it's a sad state of affairs when a grandmother who is upset about not seeing her new grandchild in the four weeks since he's been born, despite him living only a few minutes away, is now 'entitled'.

If you think they are unreasonable and entitled then presumably you don’t have a particularly close relationship with them. There’s nothing to suggest that’s the case with the OP and her son though.

Entitlement does not comes from requesting a visit, but for stating that her timeframe for waiting is way too long and establishing the conditions and agenda of the visit, without making sure it works for the other party

I'd just like to point out that the wife's mother is also a mother in law....... to the child's father!
I do wonder if the same situation is visited on this mother in the distant future should her new born son have children whether she will feel it's entirely reasonable. If Happygran has to wait until mum is no longer pumping, then the baby could well be many months old! I didn't get to hold my granddaughter until she was 7 months old because she lives in a different country, but if she'd lived a few minutes away I'd have been very upset.

She’s only stated that on here and her son appears to have been happy with an earlier visit.

On the flip side, as I said, it would have been nice if a half an hour visit could have been accommodated given that the family seem to get on reasonably well generally. Sometimes it’s nice to be nice.

I didn’t think my inlaws were the sort to have entitled requests until my first was born.

They got upset that I I want my father-in-law who is sick to visit in the hospital. When I got a lot of pushback, I relented and said he could wear a mask, they were still extremely offended.

The day we came home they offered to drop dinner off, I assumed they’d come in for 5-10 minutes. They stayed 3 hrs and ate the food they brought “us”.

I ended up in my room trying to nurse, in tears, because they wouldn’t leave. I’d not slept in 3 days.

It came out later that they were angry because still sick FIL wanted to hold the baby. Instead of using their words, they just waited.

Sometimes you don’t know how people will react. I thought they’d be the easy grandparents.

that we and it was mostly my husband who had the issue. It was of course blame on me.

No you don’t know how people will react - as the OP is also finding out.

Most people are reasonable sorts though - it’s all about communication and mutual respect.

I hope you meet the baby soon HappyGran.

Your post has reminded me of how hurt my Mum was not to be the 'first' to see my son, my friend from work arrived at the hospital before her.

I wonder how parents who keep one set of grandparents away from the baby for weeks would react if they believed the grandparents had waited that long their enthusiasm to meet or cuddle the baby had declined.

That would enable them to define the GPs as ‘unreasonable’ forever more!

It’s interesting to read about the varying hopes and expectations. My own parents came to see our DC1 in hospital for afternoon visiting time the day after I’d had him and went home the next day - my mum then came to stay for a few days once DH had gone back to work. Her colleague was horrified she didn’t come down (from 200 miles away) to wait while I was in labour!

My PiL came through 12 days later - they weren’t able to come through beforehand because he was working (AL didn’t occur to him) and she had a coffee morning at the church the Saturday after DC1 was born which she didn’t want to miss. They live 1.5 hours drive away. DH and I had both hoped for a little bit more excitement from them for their first grandchild (and the first baby in the family for 34 years) but apparently not.

No, you’re right - no-one is ‘entitled’ to meet a new DGC at theee weeks, but sometimes it’s good to put entitlement to one side for half an hour and do something that’s just nice for family members who are going to be key people in your child’s life (providing they are people that you and/or your DH/P love and care for).

Yup! Not about entitlement and demanding MILs really! But for some anything a MIL says has to be about that and about them not having had relevant experience! "No rationale will ever be reasonable" on both sides of the coin apparently!!

SirChenjin, I wasn’t suggesting that the grandparents actually told the parents that. I was just meaning what if the grandparents just ended up feeling like that. Not everyone is particularly keen on babies and if someone feels pushed out for long enough they really may become less enthusiastic and excited about the baby. I am talking generally here and not about anyone’s situation on this thread.

Sorry, I should have made it clearer that I was talking hypothetically too and I completely agree with you

Beswitched I quite agree. Goodness me how times have changed. Actually when I had my children in 1970s I told my husband to bring his parents and mine. I felt they were "entitled" to see the newborn grandchildren they were so looking forward to. And I couldn't wait to show them. What on earth has happened to families nowadays!
I feel very sad for Happygran.

Maybe consider asking for 10 minutes instead of an hour. Popping round for an hour sounds daunting to nursing
mums.

The word 'snowflakes' comes to mind and I'm not talking about the weather!

Snowflakes?

It’s a derogatory term for people who you believe are easily offended, who lack resilience, or who require special treatment. It’s best not to call someone this to their face if you want to remain on good terms with them, unless you know them very well and know they won’t take offence.

Popped back to see ‘yes’ or ‘no’ yet?
You’re joking!
?

The definition of 'snowflakes': 'Young adults viewed as being less resilient and more prone to taking offence than previous generations'.

I've also popped back to see if Happygran has seen the baby .