Still not met three week old grandson.

Thanks SirChenjin I know that definition but wasn't sure who it was being applied too on this thread.

I’m pretty sure it’s the young couple. It’s not a term I like - it’s ageist and quite derogatory.

I agree, I don't like the term either.

It's an odd term for a GP to me,

It's an odd term for a GP to me

It’s an unkind term to anybody.

In this case I’m pretty sure it was unkindly used to describe the son/Dil.

In this case I’m pretty sure it was unkindly used to describe the son/Dil.

Son/DiL aren't being very kind.

If it's a mean term why is it used here?

I think some of the posters so up in arms about the OP not seeing the new baby yet should have a read on mumsnet of the many threads from pregnant women saying first off they don’t want any visitors at all in the first 2/3/4 weeks after the birth, and if they do want anyone it's only their own mothers they want to see.
Secondly read the threads that say they feel PILs only want to see the new baby and are not at all interested in them, the mothers.
And third, read those that say they dread their inlaws coming round because not only do they just want to see baby they expect the DIL to ‘host’ them (i.e. wait on them hand and foot with drinks, snacks etc) while new mum is tired, aching, leaky and not at all up to visitors unless they actually help and don’t expect anything else.
Nothing I’ve seen in the OP’s posts convinces me that she is overly concerned about anything other than her own wants. No offers of practical help, cooking, cleaning, just showering baby with gifts that may or may not be needed or wanted.
I am not a grandmother yet although I am certainly of an age to be, and, as the mother of sons, fully aware that at some stages in life DIL’s families will take precedence over me. That being so I try my best to not be overbearing and to realise it’s not about me. At all.

The only folks taking offense here are the grans who have been asked to wait, are these the snowflakes you mean???

No offers of practical help, cooking, cleaning

No way would I have wanted my MiL cooking or cleaning for me in the first few weeks. A quick visit to see the baby after three or four weeks, yes, but cleaning or cooking? Hell no <shudder>.

OutsideDave I think so.

Siobhansharpe
A minority of posters on mumsnet hold that view, and a very small minority of Parents in law arrive in expecting tea and cake.

But some people seem to enjoy using those occasional examples as a reason to say that all pils are thoughtless, troublesome and insensitive.

Smacks of trying to hard to justify unkind and exclusive behaviour to me.

Popcorn

Hot dogs

Not sure what those ab9posts mean?

Nothing - they are absolutely meaningless.

It is like a boxing match, staying back and watching it munching on a snack - popcorn

Indeed.

Oh for goodness sake Siobhan! My daughter laughs when I run to the boys first when she gets off the plane! She's not jealous! OP hasn't got to the stage of offering help or caring about DiL.. She just wants to see her gc.
So many silly excuses here. Even if some mothers don't want to see anyone for three weeks they can still spare a little time even for a oneoff visit to introduce the new baby. In rhis case the DiL sister is there every day. I think its selfish. I would feel very hurt. I don't understand the son agreeing to this.

Exactly Beswitched.

I agree annpl.

Playing tit for tat and fairsies does not work.

We don't know why her sister is there and for how long.

If you make it a competition, when it is clearly not, you may lose.

Its not exclusionary or selfish. Just for the simple fact that I don't care if my mother and sister sees me with my breasts out or going shirtless. I do care about the in laws seeing me in that way. When you are trying to express milk its incredibly difficult to do so when you are around people who you don't feel comfortable with. That affects my baby's well being and also mine. Granny here needs to be very careful here before her pushiness gets her pushed right out of the way. Which has happened to my own MIL. Not because of me but because of her son getting tired of her pushiness and pressure. He now has her on a schedule where she can see our twins for 1 hour for lunch once a month. Whoever keeps encouraging this woman to just show up, to just keep calling and the very worst inviting themselves over and pushing past them are doing her no favors at all, Being a grandparent is a privilage and not a right

Your mil is on a once a month schedule ?. The babies' grandmother??

No we don’t know why her sister is there. All we know is what the OP has told us and we either agree it would be nice if she’d been able to say her DGC after 3 weeks or or we don’t.