Still not met three week old grandson.

Gillybob

Same here! And they know I will!

I haven't commented on this thread until now, but have read it from the beginning. With increasing horror. I am utterly appalled at how the OP, who comes across as a lovely lady, has been so viciously harangued and torn to shreds by certain posters.

I am really saddened that GN seems to be attracting an element of deeply unpleasant, hard-nosed people who seem to want only to push their personal agenda, derailing threads to the point where the OP disappears, never to return. I cannot imagine how she must be feeling to read all the vitriol on here, but I for one feel desperately sorry for her.

Gransnet is not what it once was, and to be perfectly frank right now I feel like throwing the towel in. This thread is only the latest in a long line of threads which have turned nasty, mostly due to the usual suspects. I don't really want to be associated with the site any longer.

Me too Gillybob
Popped back in to see if any news from OP but just seems to be a few ridiculous comments instead!

Don't "throw towel in" Bathsheba GN needs fair minded, reasonable and well intentioned posters. We can only hope that the OP ignores the unpleasant responses and takes comfort from those of us who are trying to be supportive and understanding.

I didn’t really do that, Gillybob but it makes a good story.

Exactly Smileless ! Don’t give up Bathsheba . Gransnet needs good people like you .

Oh sugar .... now you say that SueDonim . I’m so gullible...

Bathsheba please don't go. Smileless is right.

. Gillybob.

Bathsheba don’t go, there are lots of lovely people and threads here on GN.

As my mother would say, empty vessels make a lot of noise!

smileless you seem to be deliberately ignoring the folks suggesting that the baby be taken from mom to go visit the ils so they can get their all important ‘cuddle’. Who have accused dil of being cruel for refusing to allow said cuddle.

No update from happygran yet, I see.
That baby is going to be smiling by the time she meets him, and i'll bet he saves his biggest smile yet for her.

I too think HappyGran has forgotten this thread.

No OutsideDave I am not ignoring posters who have suggested that the OP's son take his baby to see his parents, the baby's paternal GP's who live just a short distance away but that is not separating a mother from her new born child.

What's wrong with the suggestion? If the OP's d.i.l. wouldn't be happy with that and yes, I can understand why she might not be, all she has to do is allow her p's.i.l. to see their GC.

A GP's first cuddle with their GC is all important; why the snide comment?

That would be lovely wouldn't it MissA

Yep! A baby should bring joy ; not all this angst.

you seem to be deliberately ignoring the folks suggesting that the baby be taken from mom to go visit the ils

What's wrong with that OutsideDave? You make it sound as though the child will be ripped from its mother's arms and sold I to the slave trade for eternity. It's a visit to grannie's house fgs! Get a grip!

And that suggestion is cruel. I don’t understand why you claim first that there is no separation, then that the child would be separated but it doesn’t really matter. And the unnecessary separation would be avoided if DIL just gave in and let her ils into her home because we all know you don’t care about DIL. Because newborns are well known for their grasp of object permanence I’m sure it will be totally comfortable with being removed from its entire universe to again, please extended family.

I think you should follow Chewbacca's advice OutsideDave and "get a grip".

Well said Chewbacca and Smileless2012 for introducing an element of sanity back into the discussion.
I’m with Bathsheba in being appalled by some of the nastiness shown on here.

Because newborns are well known for their grasp of object permanence I’m sure it will be totally comfortable with being removed from its entire universe to again, please extended family

Are you on glue OutsideDave? Here, have these. You need them.

Hithere For all those posters who say it is not fair

What did you reply to your kids when they were asking for a toy another kid had?
Or they wanted the same piece of clothing that their friends had?
Same sneakers in fashion?

What did you reply to them?

Pretty much what most parents reply, you're not your friends. But and this is a big but, this scenario is more akin to you give one of your children a bicycle, pony, and computer and tell your other child it's getting nothing. If you really wouldn't expect justified cries of "it isn't fair" then it's you living in cloud cuckoo land! Both grandmothers are exactly the same relation to the new baby and the OP is just stating she's sad it's been so long and she still hasn't seen the new baby in real life. If she wasn't eager to see her new grandchild ( and remember she has other grandchildren) she'd likely be accused of inconsistency and be criticised for that!!

Thanks for answering my question!

Sorry but it’s absolute madness to suggest a newborn is taken from what is clearly an unwilling (to be seperated) mum to see a grandparent. I have great sympathy for op, I really do and if mum was ok with a small separation that would be great, but she’s onviously not and to judge her for this is out of line And clearly selfish. Those instincts to be physically close to your baby are incredibly powerful and I hope op doesn’t push for this or she may find herself on the sidelines forever more.

Ready to be told I’m taking nonsense and mocked but reading those posts and thinking about being pressured to let my baby leave (my first anyway!) the house without me was quite upsetting. I’d have been inconsolable especially 4 weeks in.

Op if you do come back and read your thread I do very much hope you’ve met your grandchild by now. I have only tried to highlight that I can see your dils perspective somewhat but overall I place a lot of weight on a grandparents role in a child’s life and I absolutely empathise with you not being able to see your new family member. I hope it all becomes a distant memory for you soon. All the best

As far as I'm aware, it was another poster, way back, who made the suggestion about the son possibly taking the baby to GM's house, not something the OP had requested. So, all these suggestions about the baby being 'removed from its entire universe' are complete and utter nonsense.

All the OP reasonably wants is to see her GC for the first time. It really isn't much to ask, especially after 4 weeks.

Thank you Bathsheba for articulating so well just what I've been thinking about this thread and GN.