Still not met three week old grandson.

Happygran answered your question with a question of her own, "Why shouldn't she thank us?"; you haven't answered her question.

"Honestly some of the responses here are ridiculous!"

I totally agree

I'm glad you agree Hithere

I'll second that.

AGNURSE you really do talk rubbish. OP is not extended family she is the Grandmother.
You talk such insensitive shit sometimes.
You really have no idea or concept how you hurt peoples feelings do you.

Oh don’t be silly of course we want to see our lovely son and dil, I think we are entitled to be enthusiastic at meeting the brand new family member aren’t we?

Poor lady sleep deprived, hormones running riot ,the indignity of being connected to a breast pump FGS, worrying about baby not latching on, possibly some sense of failure......but still expected to let Grandma bond. No, it's not about Grandma.

That doesn't mean she doesn't want to see the adults. It just means what she is feeling upset about is not having met the baby yet. OP's feelings are perfectly naturally. We are all allowed to feel whatever we feel whether we are the grandparents, the parents or the grandchildren. We can have feelings while still allowing other people to have their feelings too.

Three weeks seems a bit OTT and I can well imagine you’re feeling hurt. Even in the very early days of feeling like you’ve been put through a mangle and then been deprived of sleep for days on end it’s not that hard to find room to have the grandparents round for a quick half hour to an hour visit, acknowledging that both sets of grandparents will play an important role in your child’s life in the coming years - even if you’re not particularly close to your parents or in laws.

All you can do is bide your time and hope that once the postpartum fog lifts she’ll be a bit more welcoming. Congratulations on your new DGC!

Greymar

How does depriving family of meeting the little man improve my DIL’s situation?
How would letting us visit for a fifteen minute cuddle make it worse for her?
I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.

Of course everyone has feelings, that's why we need to make compromises with each others. New mums feelings are probably just a bit overwhelming at the moment and I am sure patience and understanding are good feelings to have right now x

SirChenjin, thank you. Xx

Yennifer

Yes definitely about compromise and give and take.

I'm sure things will resolve soon Happygran, I understand you must be itching to see the baby, I think patience and kindness will pay off eventually x

Maybe the lady just isn't up to it and feels embarassed by her appearance and physical struggles.

" grow a pair" What do you mean? Ignore the wishes of a struggling new Mum to accomodate you? Nice.

The mum could be ‘asleep’ at a mutually convenient time for both parties and let her DH show off his newborn to his parents for an hour on his own? That could be one way of getting round it, perhaps?

Greymar

Please read a post properly before making disparaging comments.
The phrase was directed at my SON, rather obviously I would have thought!

A good suggestion SirChenjin

SirChenjin

I am speechless.

Poor dil, the incubator and wet nurse is put aside so the son can have his lion king with his parents.

It wasn't the parents in Lion King who held baby simba up, it was the monkey Hithere... Obviously holding little babies over drops is very frowned on in real life lol x

A parent's role is to protect their child and to do what they feel is in the best interest of their child. Some choose to limit / control visitors in the early days. It is very tough for those full of love for the new family member, their child's child, and who are having to wait.

It must be overwhelming for new parents now..so much advice available .. and at the touch of a button.... so many experts ..some real some quacks... advising about bonding, health, feeding, sleeping, swaddle don't swaddle, etc. etc.

I was quite naïve when I had my babies and there really were very few people giving advice.. Dr Spock and Claire Rayner ..I chose down to earth , no nonsense Claire's book & welcomed support and help from the 'wise women'..my mum and mum in law and a lovely health visitor!

What a horrible thing to say Hithere. You're the one referring to the mother as an "incubator and wet nurse" and why denigrate a son who proudly wants to show his new baby to his parents by referring to him having "his lion king with his parents"?

Aren't new father's allowed to be proud?

Yes Hithere that’s exactly what will happen, of course . Pushed aside, force fed a sleeping draught and relegated to the position of rent-a-womb while The Circle of Life is played at full volume and the OP and her son dance around the living room, cackling in triumph.

Or, y’know, not.

Yes it is obviously a comment directed at a male, an unfortunate phrase to use about a new Dad who is supporting is partner as best he can.