Taken for Granted

Please put her out of your mind and do not contact her again , this reads like a scam , whether it is her hoodwinking you or you us I am not sure

For goodness sake she’s taken you for a ride for sure ignore her and don’t reply to her anymore.

I think you know you are being taken for a fool. What is making you continue contact with her?

If it were me I would send a text saying that I felt used and never to contact me again.

I am confused

Your actions and words say two different things.

You say you were beginning to have a friendship but you behaved like a best friend- buying the bed frame for her, the therapy blanket, printing everything she wanted, etc.
The wardrobe situation also gives mixed signals, given the past history of giving them so many things.
They like it, you say you want to replace them and assumptions of them keeping them fly - they knew you would probably give it to them..
Did you correct them on the spot? Say no, they are not for you?

I think they saw you are a very generous person and they knew you would support them no matter what.

I would wish them well and stop having contact with them.

Are you taken for granted? Yes, they did but this is also a you problem as you never placed reasonable boundaries with them.

What a liberty ! Two words to her and the last one would be " off ".

Some people have several go fund me pages open for them by several people.
The truth is that you suggested it, you didn't get to it so somebody else did it instead

I find it strange you got mad.

Isn't the purpose what matters - for her to get the money she needs for the treatment (allegedly) vs you doing it for you?

Are you aware of codependency is?

Btw, I do believe they are scamming you and she might not even be sick.

You have gone above and beyond I do believe you are being taken for a fool I would stop all contact.

by the length of your message and the content I think you should not have got so involved in the first place, you can't be someone's saviour! always know when to pull back!!

When help and support only go one way, that’s when you know you are being taken for granted.
On the other hand, you are annoyed that others are helping her.Do you enjoy being a benefactor?Think about it.

Donna sorry to sound harsh but you should have listened to your aunty’s advice

As for her go fund me page ignore it. If it’s questioned by this pair then simply tell them you have no spare cash due to the amount you’ve already spent on her.

But dear donna people can only take liberties if you allow them too
You have absolutely showered this lady with your generosity although you knew her only vaguely and then you wonder why she’s taking advantage of you
It’s a match made in heaven a ‘taker‘ meets an over generous giver she must have thought all her birthday had come at once
Be thankful someone else has set up a ‘go fund page‘ for her and move on, please do move on, there will be much more deserving cases .... like yourself even
There is a big difference between generosity and foolishness and in your quest to help this lady you have stepped from one to the other
I did wonder that too hithere

This woman and her husband are what mumsnet call CFs, and, I'm afraid I would have to say you have been taken for a fool and a sucker for a hard luck story. Find better friends who are not just users.

You are obviously a generous person and this 'old friend' and her partner have taken advantage, although it has to be said that buying a bed for someone you barely know is a bit odd. I would stop contacting these people, they don't see you as a friend. Maybe take your caring nature to somewhere it won't be abused? Volunteer for a day centre or a charity.

aggie, I wondered that too. Wasn't sure.

Donna I don't know if you always go around buying expensive presents for people you hardly know. But yes, you are absolutely being ripped off. Walk away, have nothing more to do with them.

You are obviously a softhearted caring lovely person, who has been taken for a ride, you bought her a bed and that was very kind of you, it seems you are one of life’s givers, which is all very well on some aspects but this has gone to far, and these people are really taking you for a mug, I would cut them out of your life, they are not friends, they are users Donna1964. You don’t need people in your life like this

Reading your post again I find it even more strange ... she contracted cancer around the time you picked up the friendship !! did you ever see the bed in situ that you bought For her .....she had heard of someone selling one, how lucky it was still available a week later when you sent her the money
You were showing them around you home and in your bedroom !!! Is that normal, perhaps it’s me but I ve never taken people round to look at my bedroom, if they ve called in for coffee or a meal. He, the partner opened your wardrobes? didn’t that alert you to the type of people they were
You have spent out large chunks of money but worry about a bit of photocopying, none of this makes sense to an outsider

I m afraid I m very suspicious of this ladies illness

Are you still looking at the thread Donna?

Having an illness does not give someone a licence to use people. Clearly they have both taken you for a ride. Don't reply to any messages but if they do manage to catch up with you tell them you are busy. You have personal things to sort out and that's your priority. Get on with your own life and don't give them a second thought they don't deserve it. As others have said your kind nature will be appreciated by genuine people.

Many of us go through serious illness. My friends brought me flowers and chocolate cake and I would never have accepted anything more than that as I believe most wouldn't.

These people are users. They are only interested in what you can give them. Have nothing more to do with them. They are playing on your good nature.

The more I think about it, they are not taking advantage of you.

They are just following your lead.

Haven't you noticed that she only contacts you when she wants something? She really saw you coming!

There are two types of people......givers and takers. It sounds like you’ve stumbled upon a taker. I would cut all contact now, just explaining that you’ve done what you can, but don’t want to continue. If she doesn’t accept/ understand, just show her your post and all the responses. There are plenty of caring people out there, you’ll spot them because they won’t constantly be asking for things.

She is no friend of yours and deep down you know that. I think I would struggle to contain my anger if she treated me like that. You seem a kind person and maybe you lack confidence and seek approval that you are kind. It’s a sad world that we have many who just are takers and not givers.

I do find the post a bit odd I have to say. Seems strange to give so much to someone you barely know. Then allowing them the run of your house when they visited donna1964 just asking for trouble.
I have to agree with hithere

I am not hoodwinking anyone.