Gransnet forums

AIBU

moving ...

(63 Posts)
moggie57 Sat 04-Jul-20 12:43:24

i have been offered a 1 bedroom flat at a place in west sussex .its not exactly where i want it .but its near the sea and my brother.now my daughter has said that she wants me to stay where i am as i am local to her.(but i cant stand this area now).and anyway i only see the grandchildren after church (for lunch) sometimes. .or once a week in school holidays....so do i move to suit my health problems and be near my lovely brother/relatives..or do i stay put. been here 32 years is it time for a change?i wouldnt have much noise where the flat is as its nearly to the south downs. its only 1 hour and half to where i am now.my daughter doesnt drive...i would want to move eventually to the town area .so this flat would be temporary .till i can get on the waiting list to where i want to go. do i go? if i dont there might not be another chance and have to wait how long ??//

SueDonim Sun 05-Jul-20 14:47:02

Sorry, pressed Post too soon! I’d get packing and go. There seem to be many advantages and few disadvantages, from what you’ve told us. smile

TrendyNannie6 Sun 05-Jul-20 15:50:28

Gooooo, it sounds as though you want to, I wouldn’t feel happy living in a place I didn’t like

justwokeup Sun 05-Jul-20 16:21:21

You sound like you really want to go so tell your daughter what Tooyoungytobeagrandma's neighbour told her - 'When you're my age you'll understand'. Sell the benefits - 'you'll be able to come and see us all with the grandchildren, and be near the sea, whenever you want'. If the flat is temporary, there's a chance you'll move somewhere bigger, or even move back near her, who knows what the future holds? Your DD may move and then you would wonder why you didn't go. Follow your heart (and your head).

Legs55 Sun 05-Jul-20 16:22:20

Definitely go, don't put your daughter & grandchildren before your own happiness. I moved 250 miles away from my DM when DD was 9, I met the "love of my life", DM & Step-F came to visit, we went to see them for holidays.

I moved 5 years ago to be closer to DD as I was a Widow, I now live in Devon, between the Sea & Dartmoor. I live abut 10 miles from DD, close but not too close. No regrets.

Take this opportunity, your DD can visit as can DGC. GC grow up, they will love seaside holidays & you will be close to your Brother, living in a place you like. Get packing & good luckflowers

Carol54 Sun 05-Jul-20 17:19:52

My friend spent ages agonizing over whether to move nearer her daughter. Finally moved and 6 months later SIL got a new job and they moved on. Your daughter could move anytime and you might have missed your chance

Guineagirl Sun 05-Jul-20 17:45:48

I’m moving soon, you live once, I can’t wait, a new chapter x

Florida12 Sun 05-Jul-20 18:33:44

Definitely go, you have mentioned that your brother and relatives are good company. Too many mums put their lives on hold to suit their children, and grown up ones at that. Don’t let others dictate to you.
Do let us know how you get on.

mumstheword86 Sun 05-Jul-20 18:35:00

Hope you decided to move just seen your post Enjoy a new start while you can Great for your health discover new places have fun decorating your new place and be near your brother it’s a no brainier decision GO sign the paper work ASAP

Shizam Sun 05-Jul-20 19:48:58

Sounds a good move to me. Maybe you could to help pay for driving lessons for your daughter, if that’s her worry. Always a good life skill, anyway.

kjmpde Sun 05-Jul-20 20:15:47

unless i am wrong - you can move and if you do not like it then you can move back? if you do not try you will never know.
depending on where you are in west sussex there are usually good public transport links. I am familiar with Worthing, rustington and east preston - all good areas for the buses. you may decide to stay or move to east sussex. grab the opportunity with both hands - most things are reversible if things do not work out

kwest Sun 05-Jul-20 22:43:55

This is the start of a new adventure in your life, if you want to take it.
Your grandchildren will grow up and have busy lives. Your daughter will adjust.
You have your brother nearby if you move and other people too. If you can't stand where you are , move.
Then bloom where you're planted.

LizH13 Mon 06-Jul-20 11:47:04

Have you visited the new flat with your brother? He'll probably advise if this is the right thing for you. Get excited about a new chapter to your life. My mum procrastinated about moving nearer to us (50 miles, of country roads and limited public transport) for many years while she was active and able, stayed in her familiar area in a flat she hated and eventually had ill health and dementia, her last 5.years were miserable and difficult for us all
Hope the reason you've not been back on here is because you've been making arrangements to sign for your new home and hope this question is just a "now it's here is this right" wobble. Good luck