I’m new to this only becoming a Nanny very recently. My dilemma is very sensitive but I’m completely torn.
My husband and I married 6 months ago, we are both 50 and work full time. My husbands daughter met a new man last year and VERY quickly was pregnant. It turns out the father is not a very nice person has been in jail several times for domestic abuse etc. Social services got involved and as soon as the baby was born she was taken into foster care. Social services has said that there are three possible outcomes
1. Baby goes back to parents (this doesn’t seem likely as they are not working well with S.S.)
2. Baby goes to responsible family member ( we are only option for this)
3. Baby gets adopted
My step daughter asked if we would take temporary custody of her daughter until she sorts herself out. I agreed wholeheartedly. Family is family right?
Anyway on having a viability assessment with social services it transpires that it won’t be temporary, we will be given special guardianship and parental responsibility until the child turns 18.
My dilemma is, I’m not sure I want to give up my whole future plans, my job, my financial security, my life for the next 18 years. I have been a mum for nearly 25 years and my youngest is 13 and very independent and I have just got to the stage where I can have some me time, I have got a job that isn’t the greatest but I enjoy going out to work. I’m being pressured to do it by my husband and my step daughters wider family but it’s only me that will be making all the sacrifices.
A big part of me feels like the baby would be better off adopted to a family who desperately want her. But if that happens none of us will ever see her again.
I want to do it because she is my husbands flesh and blood and I think if I don’t do it he will resent me and it will cause problems in our very new marriage but what if I do do it and I resent him for making me do it and that causes problems in our marriage. I tried to tell him how I feel but he can only see what is best for his relationship with his daughter (his only child). I need advice PLEASE!!!
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