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AIBU

My husband granddaughter

(27 Posts)
Stewart123 Sat 08-Aug-20 13:08:45

My husband and I have been married for 11 years, his granddaughter is 14. We have visited the dad who is a single father a few times but they have never been here. Two years ago the child came for Christmas which he purchased her thousands of dollars worth of thing. So since every summer and every Christmas she’s back.

My problem when this kid arrives my husband changes towards me and everyone. I can’t ask him to do anything go anywhere etc. My husband takes this child out for dinner every night and will not call to ask if I want a soda pop or anything.

This has been going on for a few years. So I bought it to his attention. We had words.

Last the child got here in April and left in late June I purchase a $300 Pair of shoes several years ago, I can not find my shoes. I looked for a month before I bought it to his attention. So he and I looked still no shoes. So I asked if he thought his granddaughter may have my shoes. This man went off I ll buy her shoes and anything she wants. My husband went on and on . She don’t have to steal on and on. I was a kid before I feel as if she could have giving them to a friend her mom or anything. I don’t know. All I know my shoes left with the kid.

No one else been here in this house but us three, and he called ask ask her she said no.

Now he doesn’t want to buy me a new pair doesn’t want to help me buy a new pair.

We are not talking he feels that I don’t like his granddaughter and the shoes just walked out the door.

So now I’m tired of informing him of his changes when the kid gets here, and my shoes might be the point of no return.

I feel as if his only granddaughter is God to him. He brags and brags on her.

We don’t have kids together he didn’t want any.

Don’t want to feel as if I’m jelious of a 14 year old.

Any suggestions?

Jaxjacky Sat 08-Aug-20 13:11:47

Bad feeling about this one...

tanith Sat 08-Aug-20 13:12:14

Didn’t you already post this the other day Stewart123 ? There were many answers and advice on your original thread.

Lucca Sat 08-Aug-20 13:13:54

Different planet.

tanith Sat 08-Aug-20 13:17:56

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1282821-My-husband-granddaughter

Here is your original thread

jaylucy Sat 08-Aug-20 13:17:58

Yes you are jealous and I would guess that the GD has noticed big time.
Is there any reason why you can't just let OH and his DG have their time together and just leave them to it while during her visit you get on with things on your own?

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Aug-20 13:19:08

Deja vu

Again!

Hithere Sat 08-Aug-20 13:39:54

The granchild- grandparent relationship gives me the creeps.
She seems to be receiving the treatment of a girlfriend or wife.

You chose not to have kids because he didnt want any

If having kids was a priority in life for you, you could have made different choices.
You could have left him and picked a different partner who wanted kids.

Hithere Sat 08-Aug-20 13:43:36

The blame is all on your dh.
Thousands of dollars in xmas presents? That's unhealthy

I understand the feeling of jealousy, it is ingrained in us as human beings.
However, there are way worse red flags here and I hope you are able to move on from this jealousy and able to see what's beyond this.

Where is the father and mother of the child in this situation?

Hithere Sat 08-Aug-20 13:43:48

Where are, not is

lemongrove Sat 08-Aug-20 13:50:36

Am sure you remember very well what it’s like to be just 14.

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Aug-20 13:58:50

The Grandaughter is 13 in the OPs post from a couple of days ago and she has been married for 12 years.

I really don’t know why I’m on this ‘thread’ and I’m not allowed to say what I think about it.

Stewart123 Sat 08-Aug-20 14:01:51

Hello

In my response
No
I’m not invited to tag along, and I do cook dinner often but she likes to eat out. Also on the weekend I cook breakfast. I have also taken his granddaughter out shopping several times with out him. I have taken her along my my nieces to ice cream, Starbucks.

I’m not in the business of buying kids. I come from a large family we build on cohesion and my family is really close.

Last I have always included my husband in everything that my big family and myself does. My husband knows this my family gives my husband Christmas gifts birthday gifts when his kids doesn’t.

So Anyways if I’m jelious I have the right to be. My husband knows where I have taken him from to where he is now.

I work a decent job as he does we have accumulated very nice things.

Last I have given 110 percent so this marriage. What I have seen is kids will grow up and meet people Get married and leave to my defense.

So call me what you want I know what I have deposited to my husband and his kids.

If I can manage my time with my family and him , and never leave him out unfortunately he will need to do the same.

Call me what you like jelious need to grow up etc.

Thank you for all of your responses.

Stewart123 Sat 08-Aug-20 14:03:14

The granddaughter turn 14 the other day

Callistemon Sat 08-Aug-20 14:57:26

tanith

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1282821-My-husband-granddaughter

Here is your original thread

How kind and helpful tanith

^ I have also taken his granddaughter out shopping several times with out him.^
You could buy her some Vans or even plimsolls of her own, Stewart
Perhaps then she won't be tempted to pinch your shoes.

tanith Sat 08-Aug-20 15:05:33

I wonder if the OP will read the original thread though 🤨

TrendyNannie6 Sat 08-Aug-20 15:06:55

Few days ago you were married 12 years, and today you’ve been married 11, not sure about this post to be honest

Callistemon Sat 08-Aug-20 15:08:15

They've just had an anniversary, TrendyNannie6

Congratulations, OP!!

Callistemon Sat 08-Aug-20 15:08:31

Oh, going backwards not forwards grin

Lisagran Sat 08-Aug-20 15:14:19

11 years / 12 years - what’s one year between friends? I call them onesies.....

grannyqueenie Sat 08-Aug-20 16:55:32

Here I am in that parallel universe once again!

welbeck Sat 08-Aug-20 17:09:07

there's a lot of it about

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Aug-20 17:36:44

Thank you for your PM Stewart123

Despite your assumptions, I am not single, I have Grandchildren and I understand the bond between Granddaughter and Grandfather.

I think that you have to accept reality and make friends with the child or rethink your situation.

Your DH has obviously decided that his GD is important to him.

Iam64 Sat 08-Aug-20 18:17:41

Callistemon, your suggestion of plimsols as the perfect gift is a bit Mary Poppins. Simply perfect in every way.

Callistemon Sat 08-Aug-20 23:37:01

smile thank you so much Iam64

I do try to be practically perfect in every way.