Gransnet forums


AIBU To feel really upset about this?

(54 Posts)
sazz1 Tue 06-Oct-20 00:19:01

I sent a present to my DGD aged 6 over 3 weeks ago using my normal courrier H......s. I've sent many parcels with them over the last few years and never had a problem. I sell things as a hobby on an auction site.
This was a pair of wellies and I put a little poem in the box for her but the parcel didn't arrive. Looking on the tracking it said delayed but this week I tried to ring them. 8 times I tried and they kept hanging up. Finally got through today and was told parcel is damaged. They had the name of the sender as someone else too, but I had a receipt from the parcel shop to prove it was me.
I've asked for it to be sent back to me so I can check if it's just the box or they've smashed the wellies. I've ordered another pair for DGD and will give them to her Saturday as they are visiting.
But I'm so upset about it as I feel very let down. Had a cry to the dog today. It's not the money but I feel very low and the fact they didn't tell me straight away but left it until I contacted them hasn't helped. I think it's because it was for DGD that it's upset me so much. The replacement pair aren't the same but they are ok
DGD doesn't know it was to be a surprise. Perhaps I'm depressed I don't know why I'm so upset about it.

FarNorth Tue 06-Oct-20 01:14:04

This has been a stressful time for months and now this thing that should have been straightforward has gone wrong and it just feels upsetting.
I totally understand that.

Babyshark Tue 06-Oct-20 03:09:45

I say this kindly but I think your reaction was a little extreme and not in proportion to the incident.

Is there something else going on for you and could you be transferring the upset? Or maybe it’s the current circumstances in general that’s starting to get to you?

Do you feel better after having a little cry? It can be cathartic!

BlueBelle Tue 06-Oct-20 04:22:23

I agree with babyshark this is a big overreaction maybe you’re not feeling too strong at the moment these things happen and you re very lucky if you ve gone through life without a lost parcel .There are so many flying around at the moment there is bound to be mistakes they have found your parcel and it will come back to you

Think practically, they didn’t contact you as obviously the label had been damaged so perhaps they couldn’t
What you saw as them hanging up on you is actually an automatic cut off if the lines are engaged

Enjoy your visit and don’t let this tarnish it and if you carry on being tearful like this have a chat with your GP this is an over reaction sazz

TwiceAsNice Tue 06-Oct-20 06:31:28

I am not a cryer but during this period of Covid had been feeling a bit down sometimes . I was unloading daughters dishwasher and knocked two dishes out of her cupboard and they smashed on the tiled floor. She was fine about it but I was inconsolable! I realised it was a “last straw “ kind of reaction and perhaps it’s the same for you.

If you feel it spoilt a surprise you could give your DGD a little extra something to go with the wellies

suziewoozie Tue 06-Oct-20 08:21:43

It’s nothing to do with the lost parcel per se Bluebell I think you were a bit unkind. Twice and Far are right. I feel sometimes that I’ve put do much effort into bring sensible, organised, cheerful, strong that something I’d normally shrug off and just deal with provokes an OTT reaction. When that happens, I just need a hug virtual or otherwise?

BlueBelle Tue 06-Oct-20 08:34:10

It was never an unkind post suziewoozie practical yes, but unkind no, I didn’t say anything unkind, of course there is room to feel disappointment in a situation such as this, but not depression as sazz asked. It could be the catalyst of a depression and I said quite kindly have a chat with your GP

suziewoozie Tue 06-Oct-20 08:37:58

I think getting upset about what might seem like a small thing in the middle of a pandemic could actually be seen as a healthy outlet and a coping strategy. Small things have taken on more significance over the last few months anyway

Cabbie21 Tue 06-Oct-20 08:49:34

On my local F———k page there are lots of complaints about this particular carrier.
It is not unreasonable to feel upset about such poor service.

sodapop Tue 06-Oct-20 08:56:58

That's right suziewoozie at the moment a small incident like that can just tip you over the edge. Don't worry about being upset sazzl have a good cry and get it out of your system. Hope you have a good time with your granddaughter on Saturday.

CaroleAnne Tue 06-Oct-20 09:21:29

I would not use Hermes if it was the last courier service on this earth as I have had several bad experiences. Better to use a more reliable courier service such as DPD et al.

nannypiano Tue 06-Oct-20 09:27:36

The same thing happened to me. I had sent a lovely present for my DI's birthday, in good time, but when I phoned to wish her a happy birthday, she said the present had not arrived. I just burst into tears, because I so wanted her to receive the gift as a surprise on the right day. She is like a daughter to me and I felt very let down by the online company who promised to deliver the next day. I wasn't depressed, just very disappointed. Sometimes it is the smallest things that are so upsetting.

Merryweather Tue 06-Oct-20 09:32:20

I'm in agreement with suziewoozie. Sometimes we've held it together and done too much, been a bit stressed or overworked and it's the last straw type emotion.
I've been there many times and I'm sure many more to come.
That said, if you are feeling low regularly or overwhelmed, worried etc as much as our pets provide good counsel and comfort, maybe consider having a chat to the GP If you feel you can. You know we are all here, any time though, so post back when you need. Take care.

CleoPanda Tue 06-Oct-20 09:36:35

It’s often the last straw that produces the reaction?
Things that are Just annoying or frustrating usually, suddenly become huge disappointments and upset us.
This has happened to me many times!
In this current pandemic I think it’s pretty normal and almost expected.
However, if talking it through rationally doesn’t help, maybe a GP chat would offer support?
By the way, I’ve used the named courier around 150 times over the last few years (not as a business) and have literally never had a problem!
We should all realise that we are still in a pandemic, staff are still on furlough, self isolating, quarantining, working from home etc. Business can not possibly be as normal.

coastiepostie Tue 06-Oct-20 09:39:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bellanonna Tue 06-Oct-20 09:39:55

I do understand sazzi and I think s.woozie has put it very well.
Emotions are close to the surface now and I find myself tearful when pre-covid I would not have been.
It will be even nicer to actually give the new pair to your GD when you see her on Saturday and you can watch her delight.
Have a lovely day together.

Maggiemaybe Tue 06-Oct-20 09:42:07


I would not use Hermes if it was the last courier service on this earth as I have had several bad experiences. Better to use a more reliable courier service such as DPD et al.

Though if the OP has sent many parcels with them over the last few years and never had a problem, it seems they are usually reliable. confused

All the delivery services are working at full stretch at the moment and certainly we are having many more deliveries here than we used to. Being at home most of the time we take a lot in for neighbours and I’ve nothing but praise for the drivers that I’ve been in contact with, who are doing a great job in difficult circumstances. It’s inevitable that mistakes will be made, such a shame that in this case the parcel is a special one.

I hope your parcel turns up, sazz1, and that you’re feeling better now.

jaylucy Tue 06-Oct-20 09:46:09

Email the CEO if you are getting nowhere with their customer service.
Look on for the address.
I had problems with a parcel that supposedly had been delivered but was in fact damaged (didn't know this until after I had contacted the CEO) and was sitting in either the warehouse for the courier or the warehouse of the company I had ordered it from.
The CEO himself doesn't reply, one of his minions does but I got an answer within a couple of days. You will also be able to ask for compensation for the cost of replacing the damaged items. Just give them as much info as possible .

Maggiemaybe Tue 06-Oct-20 10:04:02

The CEO email is very useful and has worked very well for me in the past, but I’ve only used it when I’ve exhausted the usual paths with big companies.

Yes, it’s one of his/her team that contacts you (I would never describe them as minions). In the case of British Gas, my issue was sorted out by a really helpful staff member who told me just to get back in touch with her if ever I had any more problems. And I did, a year later, so that was useful!

polnan Tue 06-Oct-20 10:05:01

oh gosh, naturally, so many of us "strong" people are feeling the effect of the virus lockups.. imo..

coupled with other "stuff" that is going on, we are not immune to a crying bout, I am told to let it all out, though I hate my crying, sometimes for no apparent reason!

I can get "upset" when I can`t open a tin, or bottle, the slightest , ordinary action now can set anyone of us off.

we have to be kind to ourselves!

Here`s a hug Sasszl and I agree with another post, so much nicer (?) don`t you think to actually give it to your GD

little things change, and sometimes then, the better outcome? don`t you agree?

Oldwoman70 Tue 06-Oct-20 10:27:22

I don't think the OP over-reacted. Hermes were under contract to deliver a parcel which they not only failed to do but also made no attempt to help the OP in finding it - extremely poor customer "service". We all know more people are buying online now and courier services are very busy, but if others can manage to fulfill their contracts why not Hermes?

I rarely order from any company which uses Hermes. If you read the online reviews, not only from customers but also employees, you will understand why I boycott them!

Readerjb Tue 06-Oct-20 10:41:26

I don’t think you were overreacting. Sometimes the smallest thing can just be the very last straw. Maybe you can give yourself a bit of TLC. Treat yourself to something that could cheer you up

Chardy Tue 06-Oct-20 10:44:57

IMO this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Everything is so stressful at the moment, and frankly there's only so much folk can take, especially us older ones. I think it's important to let it out.

Jillybird Tue 06-Oct-20 10:48:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chardy Tue 06-Oct-20 10:49:01

Our street WhatsApp group occasionally has pleas for lost deliveries, and we're unimpressed by certain carriers, so this thread doesn't surprise me.