AIBU to get a bit annoyed every year with SIL giving us a Christmas card from a pack.

I can’t stand special cards, except for special birthdays. They are nearly always cringe-worthy. I buy charity Christmas card packs, and plain ones without words for most birthdays.
But each to their own.

Nightsky2- there are packs and packs! I like to choose really beautiful cards so everyone gets a nice one.

I buy special cards for my children and Mum but everyone else gets cards from Simpson Special Care Babies as this is my chosen charity having had 2 DGC cared for there. I think it's unreasonable to expect anyone to do the same as you as it is quite a personal thing to do. We get a few ecards some of which I find annoying as people say things like "we are giving to .... charity instead of sending cards". Bit like boasting on the round robin thread and implies that we are not.

I do agree that Christmas Cards are dying a death. People just don't send them like we used to.

I don't mind getting a bog standard card off siblings

I get the family cards from Moon Pig or Funky Chicken as a rule and send the odd bog standard card to those who send me one.

As for sending the money to charity.

My friend sent a FB message today saying she wasn't sending cards this year

She then went on to say that she could inform us that the money saved would go to charity but that would be a lie!

My mother used to judge people on the quality of their cards. She always chose individual cards for family and special friends and was entirely put out if it wasn't reciprocated. I've no idea what was at the root of that, but I always made an effort to choose a lovely card for her, because it made her happy. I think maybe she saw the "quality" of the card as a measure of how the senders felt about her.

I called a halt to us sending card of any type at Christmas between our immediate family some years ago. Why would I send a card to my husband, who lives in the same house as me? It struck me as just something for how. If I want to wish him happy Christmas, I could just say it to him. Same with the offspring/siblings.

I send very few cards these days. One to my cousin, one to mother in law, one to sister in law and family.

To the OP - because of how my mother viewed cards, I can see where you're coming from.

I think some of the responses are a bit harsh. But yes, I think maybe you are over-reacting a bit. Try not to let it upset you, and accept the card in the spirit in which it is sent.

You have opened my eyes. You all make such good arguments against. Have always bought special cards but this year will be my last. Thank you all for the common sense.

Lolo81

I have a very good friend who is literally the only person I give a Christmas card to. So far I have 25 cards left from the box of 30 I bought 5 years ago since I give her a card each year.
Some people don’t like cards - I’m one of them, I’d much rather have a conversation than a card on my mantle for 3 weeks that I then Chuck in the bin.

Each to their own, but I certainly wouldn’t judge someone on this little quirk.

me too. I loath christmas cards, I stopped sending them years ago.

Glad you came back Kandinsky, great that we can chat about these issues and sometimes helps us to take a different view, hopefully you’ll save yourself upset and a few bob in the future. Have a happy Christmas ?

Kandinsky

Thank you everyone.
I think the overall consensus is I am being unreasonable.
I have read all replies.
Thanks again.

I think we've all had to lower our expectations this year.
Shopping is not the experience it was, even if anyone does go to the shops.

SIL has a 'significant birthday' and I had to rely on DH buying a card,
Surprisingly it was fine.

I second that! Thanks fior coming back and being so reasonable

All my cards are ordinary cards, why waste money on those queasily sentimental ones for relatives. They are all so full of false bonhomie.

Just buy one pack of really nice charity cards for those close to you.

Thanks for your response, Kandinsky. Sometimes I think we just do these things because it’s how we’ve always done them and a change can be a bit of a jolt and make us think!

You’re all so lovely on here you really are.
Sometimes we are so set in our ways we just can’t see any other point of view.
Thank you for making me realise this - I know it’s a silly minor ‘problem’ especially in such troubled times, but that just goes to show how tunnel visioned I am in certain areas.

Happy Christmas to you all, and all the very best for the new year. ???

I had to "educate" my OH who would insist on special cards for his offspring and separate ones for each of the four grandchildren after I witnessed one of the children open said special card, check the contents for money and throw is down on the coffee table in disgust because there was no cash in it!

We now buy nice charity cards for a variety of causes and no one gets a special card.

Total waste of money as far as I'm concerned so yes, YABU!

Special cards are cringey and I prefer a homemade card or a charity one. It’s the personal message inside that’s important not the commercially printed message on the front.

Thank you for updating kandinsky. You've taken it well. Have a lovely Christmas.

PollyDolly

I had to "educate" my OH who would insist on special cards for his offspring and separate ones for each of the four grandchildren after I witnessed one of the children open said special card, check the contents for money and throw is down on the coffee table in disgust because there was no cash in it!

We now buy nice charity cards for a variety of causes and no one gets a special card.

Total waste of money as far as I'm concerned so yes, YABU!

OP has already returned and updated us.

Kadinsky I don’t think you were being unreasonable, just maybe a little out of touch. We can pay way over the top for ‘special’ cards, when the only important thing is the message it conveys. I usually choose an appropriate picture & charity card and write a very personal message.

yellowcanary I know that some people do give to charity in place of sending cards.
I saw the acknowledgements to my brother where he had given £100 to each of 3 charities close to his heart. He also left £20 into the local Children’s Hospice for each child who was long term and would be in over Christmas to get them a gift.

I was in my local Cancer Charity Shop when my neighbour (who didn’t see me) came in and made a sizeable ‘Christmas donation’ in lieu of cards and some gifts.

Some people are kind and honour their promise. ?

“Special Cards”. Do you mean those large cringeworthy “To my darling grandmother at Christmas time” type ones?
I hide those behind the others.
Give me a small charity card any day.

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I'm no great fan of those pre-printed special cards but there is one very special card I have treasured for almost 50 years.

Around the time my late OH and I got together, my parents moved from Essex to NE Scotland and we were invited to spend our first Christmas together with them in the new abode.

On Christmas Eve, the postman made a surprise delivery. OH knew I dislike schmaltz so he chose a rather arty but unsentimental card to demonstrate his skill. Until that card arrived, I'd had no idea he was a skilled calligrapher.

He rarely exercised his talents and never on another card for me. Shortly after his death, I came across his pens and inks boxed up on a shelf in the garage and cried over them. No idea what I will do with them but I might just mark the solstice next week (I don't do Christmas these days) by putting up the card alongside the poinsettias, berries and cut flowers. It deserves another outing, I think.

I have no words.

It certainly does Scribbles. Treasure that card.

I don't think exactly that you were being unreasonable but it is a case of different strokes for different folks.

I do not buy special cards either. I send nice quality charity cards to everyone. Over the years I have culled my Christmas card list.