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AIBU

AIBU to get a bit annoyed every year with SIL giving us a Christmas card from a pack.

(318 Posts)
Kandinsky Tue 15-Dec-20 13:26:10

She’s my DH’s only sibling - you’d think she’d buy a special, ‘to my brother & family’ type card rather than a card from a box that she probably uses for the neighbours & milkman too.
I always buy ‘special’ cards for immediate family.
Also, they have money so that’s not the issue ( I’d completely understand if it was )

AIBU?

Callistemon Tue 15-Dec-20 22:18:07

Scribbles Something to treasure for ever

V3ra Tue 15-Dec-20 22:19:44

Many years ago I did an evening Home Care round. One of my clients was a lovely, very elderly, lady.
She said she'd given up sending Christmas cards as anyone who still saw her would know she was ok, and anyone else who didn't get a card would just assume she'd died.
She said it was a great relief not to have to bother!

Spice101 Wed 16-Dec-20 06:04:50

YABU

From the title of this thread I thought you were getting a single card from a pack of cards . This year the Ace of Spades, next the two of Hearts- would take 52 years to accumulate the whole pack.

Katyj Wed 16-Dec-20 07:18:52

I buy special cards for all the family which amounts to 12 cards, I also receive the same special cards back, and I have to say i do love them, they have pride of place. This year though eldest son said he didn’t know why I bother, their not sending any cards this year, so I might have a rethink next year ?

Washerwoman Wed 16-Dec-20 08:22:12

In recent years I've stopped exchanging cards with friends and neighbours I see and talk to regularly.And since we downsized I'm glad not to receive as many.However I do give a small donation to the charity whose cards I would have bought packs from.And make a big effort to phone or get in touch with those we don't see regularly and actually talk.I have felt annoyed that my SIL even forgot to send me a birthday card for years,and even DH her brother didn't get one this year.However I've now let that feeling go.She is a bit flaky and disorganised generally but I know if we had a crisis or needed morale support she would be there for us in a shot and it wasn't worth stewing over.If you have a good relationship with your sister OP that's worth more than some card.

Shropshirelass Wed 16-Dec-20 08:34:22

I buy special cards for Mum and my DD. DH and I don’t send cards by mutual agreement. I send cards to close friends I don’t see very often but not to Bob the Builder or Ernie the Milkman! I had stopped sending to people I am in regular contact with and do make a charity donation, however this year I have sent cards as it has not been possible for a catch up over a coffee, I think it lets people know they are thought of.

tarakate Wed 16-Dec-20 09:42:47

I'd be annoyed if anyone sent me a 'special card'. I bet your family members would probably prefer the money and the charities which could benefit from your card-giving are missing out too. Yes, you're being unreasonable.

Blackcat3 Wed 16-Dec-20 09:44:58

Why waste money...even if you have it ...on something that’s heading for the bin?

Barrygirl Wed 16-Dec-20 09:45:15

Goodness me, what a fuss about nothing. I personally dislike so called "special" cards - to me they are sentimental and naff. But each to their own. Just be thankful you have a card - mindful of postage and the environment I send very few these days and make up for it with a text or a phone call.

ctussaud Wed 16-Dec-20 09:46:53

Like the others, I also find those special “named” cards irredemiably naff. Can’t bear them, but luckily family and friends would never dream of sending them!

Also, I prefer cards with no glitter, kittens, or robins on logs, so I must be a Miserable Old Git!

DiscoDancer1975 Wed 16-Dec-20 09:47:05

No wonder there are so many family problems with expectations like this! My MIL was just the same, complained about the presents she had one year. That was the last time she got any! Did us a favour really?

sarahcyn Wed 16-Dec-20 09:49:08

OP Through no fault of your own you have been persuaded by card manufacturers that it is necessary and more polite to send differentiated Christmas cards. This is pure marketing and utter rubbish. Such cards are invariably hideous and dated, and of minimal or no benefit to charities. I’d be embarrassed to send one, myself.
Or do you maybe just not like your sister in law for other reasons, and you’re involuntarily casting around for more reasons to feel annoyed by her?
I also have a profoundly annoying SIL so if this is the case, I know how you feel!

Luckygirl Wed 16-Dec-20 09:49:57

I see the spirit of Christmas is alive and well! How could you possibly take offence at this? Be glad you got a card.

GrauntyHelen Wed 16-Dec-20 09:50:01

YANBU I always do special family cards and I'm insulted when others don't

Dylant1234 Wed 16-Dec-20 09:50:05

I suspect it’s a class/culture thing ........

JadeOlivia Wed 16-Dec-20 09:51:23

To answer your question, yes, totally ridiculous.

Janburry Wed 16-Dec-20 09:52:04

I also like to buy special cards for DH, DD's and DSiL's, DS's and DBiL's, DB and DSiL and DGC, l buy a nice box of charity cards for anyone else, my DM is the only person who did the same except for this year as she's stuck indoors. I love doing this but it's my choice and the only person l EXPECT A PERSONAL CARD FROM (he's looking over my shoulder ?) is DH

Marjgran Wed 16-Dec-20 09:52:35

Yes, unless she usually gives you one and has failed this time, I can’t see an issue! I only receive one “special” card, from a very sentimental niece, and never send them. Usually they are a bit ? tacky IMHO but each to their own!

rascalsgran Wed 16-Dec-20 09:52:38

Well you are a miserable sanctimonious lot! Each to their own but I'm glad you're not in my circle of friends, I love sending and receiving cards.

TBsNana Wed 16-Dec-20 09:52:50

Gave up sending Christmas cards years ago and really don't like the personalised ones at all.
I think there's so much about Christmas that can be misconstrued and consequently causes upset....just let it all wash over you!

aggie Wed 16-Dec-20 09:54:26

I think any card is important this year especially

Daisend1 Wed 16-Dec-20 09:57:38

Its the thought that counts

Twopence Wed 16-Dec-20 09:59:18

Regarding Christmas cards everyone gets one from whichever pack of charity cards I've bought, always depicting a nativity scene or similar. When it comes to birthday cards I choose a suitable one for the recipient's interests or hobbies.

jenni123 Wed 16-Dec-20 09:59:31

My sister always buys 'special-expensive) cards for close family. I buy a box of cards and send to all, including delivery people ie the postman etc as well as family and friends. Whatever card it is it shows they have thought about you and at the end of the holiday they all get recycled or thrown in the bin.

netflixfan Wed 16-Dec-20 10:01:42

I send a “special couple” card to my cousin, she sends me one, and I know it means a lot to her. That’s it. Each to their own eh?