AIBU to get a bit annoyed every year with SIL giving us a Christmas card from a pack.

Oh dear - sorry. Really can't see the problem at all.

hi kandinsky,this is my first time of posting,but i felt i should because nobody agreed with you about special cards,i too send special cards so you have at least one ally!!

Have you not given a thought to how that person would have had to stand in a card shop full of people sifting through the “special” cards. Yes unreasonable of you I think. Pack of charity cards every time. I always cut up the cards after Christmas and use as gift tags.

I’m afraid I did agree with Kandinsky but this year I’ve changed my mind somewhat. I’ve always bought those close family special cards and been a bit miffed if I’ve not received a special card back. But this year on my one and only shopping trip out as we’re shielding I went fairly late in the evening to a card shop in town to buy them, it was dark, started to rain and cold and there was a queue of about 15 people, I took one look thought forget it. So I came home went online to a funny shop and bought normal ones saving myself a fortune which I can ill afford into the bargain. I stamped ‘brother, sister in law etc’ on them as I do a bit of crafts now and then and was relieved after I chucked them in the post. The postage was horrendous and will be more next year so I’m going to rethink the whole card situation now anyway. I ended up begrudging most of them in the end as they’d caused me so much hassle. Maybe your sister in law couldn’t be arsed with the queues either?

My dh writes the cards - working from last years received cards kept for this purpose. I can't be bothered. Should I receive one of those round robin letters, usually boasting of family achievement during the year, they go (unread) straight to bin.
As most people are glued to phones these days, the e-cards are probably the way forward for people who need to contact others at Christmas.

I can only say that I feel a great relief this year to receive any cards and know that friends and family are all still here. I remember when the AC got married sending a "Daughter & Son in law" card for a couple of years but I think I was just overcome by the novelty of it all! Even a huge box of cards are chosen by the sender and they think of you as they are writing them so that should be enough.

Well I'm going to buck the trend Kandinsky and say YNotBU. As you say she's your H's only sibling so a more personal card would indeed be nice. Special cards are not expensive and I always buy them for extended family, and really nice charity cards for friends and neighbours etc. Some of the people on our card list we have known for nearly 50 years but no longer see them so a particularly nice card and letter at Christmas is important to them. This year I made all my cards, all personalised for each recipient, simply because I didn't want to visit my favourite card shop where distancing is impossible. Could it be that your SIL also didn't want to go to a card shop whereas she could grab a pack of simpler cards with her groceries? Do you send her a special card?

Apart from the Children of the family, I stopped sending paper greetings cards years ago!
I send them Electronically, and feel that it's somewhat saving the environment, helping prevent bugs and viruses, especially from those who insist on licking the envelope glue to seal it up, and continue to do so even when they are ill, potentially sending their germs to infect again!
I also give an annual donation to a charity equivalent to the money saved by not sending cards, and even some of my Grandchildren now request that they prefare to get a Birthday greeting and maybe a bit of pocket money electronically rather than the actually thing!

Yes, all my family send and receive special cards. You’re not alone.

We buy a special pack for my in-laws, my dad and sister. Everyone else gets a bit standard pack. I would not expect any individual cards, but my in-laws sent a to son and family.

My daughter and I , have given the same cards to each other for the last 15 years , it’s very interesting to go back and read the messages from previous years , it’s a real keepsake .I treasure it .

Yup

Is this for real?! My younger sister has stopped sending cards except for elderly relatives, and I sometimes think I should follow suit. My distant relatives love some photos in mine, so I do that though I avoid the round Robin letter. That is more worthwhile than the over commercialised special cards. And if it is close family then a personal word is better than a relative card

It's much too trivial to get upset about, there are worse things she could do such as not bother at all, so why worry?

I have found that a lot of the "special " cards are not only expensive but the wording inside is so mushy that they smack as being insincere so rarely buy them apart from occasionally for a birthday.
I can see nothing wrong in giving or receiving a card from a pack . You can write exactly as much or as little as you want - sincere words that are thoughtful .

I have to be honest, some years I send cards, some I don’t, sometimes they’re special, sometimes they’re not, all a bit hit and miss in our house !! I just wouldn’t get upset either way and just be glad you got a card ! Far more important things to get het up about, especially this year lol !

I have never bought a special Christmas card for anyone, always charity cards with a religious theme. People within my household wouldn’t have one from me either.

I buy charity Christmas cards and everyone gets one of those. I buy nice ones and think these are quite acceptable. Ive noticed that my sons and families no longer send cards, they usually text. So think yourself lucky to get a card it could be a text message!

It's a bit weird, I have known a few people, who give each other 'special' cards. In every case, there were problems of some sort or other, and the cards were used as sticking plaster to show some sort of fake harmony.

Some years ago I was working with a vet from Belgium and she was very confused at why we would send Christmas Cards to people we are in contact with. She told me they send cards to people they do not see or have much communication with.

I send special cards to my parents and daughters and grandchildren. One brother and my sisters get cards that I think will appeal to them. This year I found charity cards that were 3D scenes, so I sent them to my sisters and funny ones to my brother. It’s personal choice, but try not to be upset kandinsky-at least you get a card.

I have never bought ‘special’ cards at Christmas. Surely a better way of gaging how close you are to a friend or relative,is whether you keep in touch with them, are welcoming when you see them, there for them if needed etc, rather than buying a ‘special’ card which takes little effort really. Likewise if someone was struggling financially( not saying you are OP) It would be better to give them something of practical use than such a card.

We are all different

It's reasonable enough to have your own preferences, but to be miffed that someone doesn't send you a 'special' card is, IMO, unreasonable.

Have you ever considered that, like quite a few of us, your sil might actually dislike these so-called special cards?
It's possible that she too is secretly miffed that you insist on sending her one of those instead of a 'normal' one

MAWBe - I give my milkman a card enclosing a tip. I live alone in a fairly isolated spot which can be difficult to reach in bad weather and he has never let me down. He will deliver a newspaper and many other item. I am thankful for his service.

Yes, YABU totally, IMO. If you like cards like that, then send them, but don’t expect a similar one in return.