Gransnet forums


Feeling bad about nephews visit

(59 Posts)
Glenfinnan Wed 23-Dec-20 23:51:24

We are being extremely careful with regard to the virus. Common sense and the Government guidelines say no Household mixing which I agree with! Do why did I feel so mean keeping my nephew and his daughter on the doorstep today when they delivered a gift to us!! Mixed up or what!

OceanMama Thu 24-Dec-20 01:28:55

I'm sure they understand you'd have invited them in under normal circumstances. It's hard though. It feels unnatural.

Summerlove Thu 24-Dec-20 01:34:48

It was the right decision , but definitely hard!

Hetty58 Thu 24-Dec-20 01:38:32

People really don't want to be invited in. They shouldn't be on your doorstep either - it's just not safe!

Calendargirl Thu 24-Dec-20 07:15:27


People really don't want to be invited in. They shouldn't be on your doorstep either - it's just not safe!

I imagine by ‘on the doorstep’ the OP means a fair distance away from herself whilst stood in the house.

Not a problem I would have thought.

Daisymae Thu 24-Dec-20 07:21:34

Because it goes against our natural instinct, especially at this time of year. You did the right thing, most people are in the same position.

Kim19 Thu 24-Dec-20 07:26:45

I had the same with my son yesterday. He just wouldn't come in. Seems thoroughly alien to me but - can't believe I'm saying this - he seems to feel the need to be far more cautious than me. And I'm not careless but.... this takes a bit of getting used to.

lemsip Thu 24-Dec-20 08:05:43

Kim19 Your son is keeping you safe!

Kim19 Thu 24-Dec-20 08:16:51

I just have to go on accepting and believing that, lemsip, and I do but my other son would not practise this and he doesn't love me one iota less. Bewildering indeed......

Jaxjacky Thu 24-Dec-20 08:32:50

It’s become the norm now and I get quite antsy if out and someone infringes my safe space and yes, doorstep 2m at least. Come the day, please, when this is over, I wonder how long we will take to ‘unlearn’ thse social habits.

Charleygirl5 Thu 24-Dec-20 08:45:26

I had to tell my nephew to stay away because he would have been indoors trying to cook me a meal or whatever. I am sure youngsters think they are immune to this ghastly virus.

TerriBull Thu 24-Dec-20 09:31:38

I understand your feelings my son has been round a couple of times of late and we have had to leave him on the doorstep, sadly he came round with our grandchildren at the week end and we felt horrible because the children wanted to come in and we couldn't let them. A couple of weeks ago they spent the day with us but now it seems the advice is not to mix with children either.

We have also had to tell other son and girlfriend they can't visit over the Christmas period, we'd arranged that before the latest lockdown, disappointing but not unexpected.

Glenfinnan Thu 24-Dec-20 09:36:22

Thank you all for your reassuring messages. I just love people dropping in usually! But it is right not to at the moment. Feel better after reading your comments xxx

jaylucy Thu 24-Dec-20 10:20:46

Anybody that visits another household at this time must understand the reasons why they can't enter your house.
Unfortunately, the way that we have been brought up with common courtesy to visitors brings out the guilt!

ClaraB Thu 24-Dec-20 10:21:22

You did the right thing, our Son brings shopping but hasn't been in the house again for several weeks, it's for the best but so very sad.

Sheila11 Thu 24-Dec-20 10:28:19

We live in the Cotswolds. I have been swimming regularly, but the other day I went and didn’t know anyone there. Someone said they a0re all up from London!
Decided not to swim again until they’ve all gone home. ?

Jane43 Thu 24-Dec-20 10:33:28

We had the same thing with our younger son two days ago. We were all upset but it’s important to us to keep to the guidelines as we have criticised others for breaking them.

NannyDaft Thu 24-Dec-20 10:34:06

Yes know how you feel but it is necessary ! I am sure they understood too .

Luckygirl Thu 24-Dec-20 10:36:41

It is not you keeping them on the doorstep - it is covid.

I am sure they understand. I do this with my DDs all the time; and the lovely GC. It is not ideal but I smile and joke with them and keep it light. We do a sort of virtual hug.

tarakate Thu 24-Dec-20 10:37:31

There's nothing unreasonable or mean about this. It feels contrary to our human instincts of warmth and welcoming especially at this time of year, but it is necessary and important and sensible for the protection of all. Anyone visiting to drop off presents will know this and that know that they are expected to abide by it; it isn't your personal choice, it's a medical and governmental strongly advised way of being at the moment. It felt odd for me too, delivering pressies for my mother and father (78 and 92) but to go any further would be at the least disrespectful and at worst posing risk to their health. Like any of us here I would dream of doing neither to a loved one. Worry ye not! Happy Christmas to you and yours.

4allweknow Thu 24-Dec-20 10:38:35

I visit a friend with her clothing type shopping (doesn't do internet) and whilst at doorstep I wear a mask as does she. Strange measuring inside leg of old trousers laying them on the ground!

Kate1949 Thu 24-Dec-20 10:39:00

We kept our daughter and son-in-law on the doorstep yesterday. Much as we love them, no way would we let them in.

Nannan2 Thu 24-Dec-20 10:44:03

I'm sure everyone knows by now anyway of the changes in rules of visits/xmas etc. so we don't really have to say why/what our reasons are for cancellations or keeping people stood outside etc.- they've all seen the news or the bbc updates or the newspapers- so they know, and understand.Heartbreaking though when its children and so sad that we can't let our own family in.This virus is destroying family closeness- but lets hope we can beat this thing! Here's hoping we all have a nice safe christmas- and at least there will be no rushing round like headless chickens to prepare big lunches on time! Even in smaller 'own households' dinners surely it will be more calm and laid back? (so what if its not all ready by 1pm or whatever? No one's going anywhere.A chance to relax a bit maybe- come out of kitchen occasionally, open gifts & enjoy the day a bit more? Merry christmas Gransnetters!??

sandelf Thu 24-Dec-20 10:55:53

It does go against all our human instincts. BUT needs must. Remember the way Ebola spread so tragically because of hugging and sobbing at funerals. Awful. Sometimes we must do what feels wrong at the time. Soon be easier. Just got to grit our teeth a while more.

Aepgirl Thu 24-Dec-20 11:01:46

I’ve had several doorstep visitors this week. They stand 2 metres away, we both have face covering, and wish each other a happy Christmas, and a better New Year.

It’s my natural instinct to invite visitors in for a cup of tea/coffee, but we must all take care of each other.