I feel so guilty

I also think your mum seems to have taken into account all that you didn't ask for from her over the years.
I'd say look after your own family. If your brother still can't manage his own circumstances, this late in life, then... well that's really his problem.
I'm assuming your mum didn't leave you millions, just enough to make life a bit more comfortable for you and yours.

Shelagh6, don't the marriage vows include the words "..and all my worldly goods with thee I share"? Whether or not the ring is suitable for your husband, if you ever decided to sell it then half the value would be his! If I want to give anything to anyone I would always check with my DH first, as he would check with me.

There was a reason she gave the house to you. She had her reason and I expect it is as others have said, your brothers took their share at the time. You don’t owe either of them a penny. Remember once you give once they will be back for more and more.

Fast forward to my life (extremely similar to yours) and I am currently helping my sister. We've been trying to stay in touch for the past 20 years after more than 10 that we never spoke. A few years ago at the age of 55 my older sister found herself and her 17 year old son homeless. I broke down and bought a house for them to live in and she agreed to pay rent of $500 per month. In two years I have received one months pay and had to pay off their electrical bill because they were about to get it shut off too. Her son pays his portion and has been responsible for his portion. My sister, can't even keep up with basics and I've sent money as well. The moral of the story is...don't do it unless you are prepared to support another person because if he still hasn't gotten his life together by now, he probably won't do right by any money you assist with.

I would have thought a lot depends on what went on between your mother and brothers all those years when you were out of touch. (Was there no postal service where you were?) . You left your recently bereaved mum with two younger sons and didn't even care enough to contact her or share your children with her. How do you know that she spoilt the boys and that they asked for money? If they were her company and there for her why shouldn't she spoil them. Also I think what you did with the house is hugely relevant. If you lived in it,, then fair enough. But if you sold it then I think you should have given the boys something from the proceeds. For all you know, they may have helped with decorating or DIY or it's general upkeep and care. Does your brother actually ask for money or are you feeling slightly guilty and misinterpret your conversations? I don't really think any of you come out of this sounding particularly kind..

You got what your mother wanted you to have so you keep it for yourself and your family cos you don't know when you may need it for in the future. If he asks for money say it's in your kids names for their future, for uni or something and can't be touched, that's if you really don't want to say the word no to him.

In my case I have made my Will which leaves nothing to my daughter, she knows where I am, but has not contacted me for 14 years and in the early years I used to try to find out why , try to contact her, found out she had married and has a son (may have more, I have no idea !) SO I made my Will to the effect that she has abandoned me (not that I want anything from her ...ha ha ...she informed me when she was 14 (she is now 40) that 'I'm not going to look after you when you are old....I will put you in a home'...to which my reply was 'OK...that would be good ...I hope you can afford it !)....it makes me sad as I would have liked to have left something for at least the grandson (or others as well) but my Solicitor said I cannot do so without his date of birth or address ....now I know this is not strictly true, as you can word a Will which allows for descendants of your children ...my solicitor did say she could contest the Will ....but hopefully I have that part sewn up and my reasons are within the Will .....if she ever contacts me before I die, then Imay change the Will and have informed my solicitor of that fact ....so no, don't feel guilty ..it was your parents decision and had nothing to do with you

I will leave equal to my children. I wouldn't want to be the cause of any fall out between them in their future!

.....’all my worldly goods I share’ - that might have been pertinent years ago when women got married fully expecting to be kept by men for life. But it’s nonsense really

Why did you not keep in touch with your mother for all those years? I know there was no social media or mobile phones but you could have used a phone kiosk or written, and as for leaving you the house when you were not constantly in contact is something I cannot understand. Being the "unfavourite child" I saw the favouritism dished out to my middle sister, and my friends sister gor the lions share of the will. I think your mothe's will was unfair.

Have you heard the wedding vows? Do you know the legality? Thought not. You live together and what’s yours is hers and vice versa. I’m appalled that you could think you could do what you want with assets in a marriage without consulting the other “half” (word used for a reason)!

Mooney59. There is a difference between religious law and the law code of any particular country.

Married couples organise their finances in many different ways to meet their personal and/or business requirements some couples choose to keep their own finances and savings entirely separate. Many nowadays sign pre-nups.

It is not our position to judge or dictate to people what they should do. Bear in mind that for many centuries whatever religious services and the bible said, when a couple married, both the woman and all she possessed were immediately considered the property of the husband.

Mooney59

Have you heard the wedding vows? Do you know the legality? Thought not. You live together and what’s yours is hers and vice versa. I’m appalled that you could think you could do what you want with assets in a marriage without consulting the other “half” (word used for a reason)!

This is not true. In the instance of inheritance some places do not include it as a marital asset.

This is also not true for things like gifts etc.

Also I got married 5 years ago and that definitely was not in the vows.

Buttonjugs, the house has been sold and the OP has bought a house for her and her husband to live in because they left their tied property on retirement. I don't think anyone should sell their own property to help out a brother who had his share when his mother was alive.
OP, the only person who has done anything wrong, is your Mum. She should have. been quite clear in her Will why she was making this decision. It is not incumbent upon you to explain your mother's actions but if your brother ever actually verbalises his dissatisfaction directly to you over the Will, you can only explain what you 'think' her thoughts were.
My sister has moved further away from her mother over the years (which is her right) and over the years I have been the one to look after my Mum who has been hopeless with admin for years, long before her dementia started. We purchased a house between us and it goes into my name fully when she dies. She did once put my sister's name on another property but after receiving letters from my sister's solicitor demanding a number of assurances, Mum sold the property. My sister was livid. However, some years later my Mum gave a considerable sum of money to help by a house and felt she had therefore treated us equally in the long run. A recent conversation with my sister made me realise that my sister honestly thought I would put 50% of the house with my name on back into the estate when my Mum dies. Consequently, I have asked my Mum to put into her Will exactly why I get her half. Not only have I dealt with all the admin on it and worked on it to improve it, my Mum wants me to have it because she does appreciate that I have been the one there for her. My sister is still mildly pear shaped about it but the rest of my Mum's estate will be split equally and fairly.
However, it just goes to demonstrate how these things can upset the apple cart with families and why it is so important to be explicit with your reasoning whilst not hurting the people left behind.