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Do hairdressers know best?

(88 Posts)
Quizzer Thu 25-Mar-21 10:17:35

AIBU to expect a hairdresser to cut my hair as I want it rather than as she decides is best. I’ve had numerous hairdressers who ignore my instructions and cut it the way that they want to.
I have had this fine, flyaway hair for a very long time and know exactly what it will and will not do.
Once I found a really good hairdresser who cut my hair just right until I asked for a slight change of style. I came out exactly the same as before!
Maybe I just don’t speak the same language.

Roses Thu 25-Mar-21 20:11:38

I was a hairdresser for many years and always tried to do exactly the style my clients asked for,this led to them being rushed through reception so nobody would see the style they were thrilled with?

Nanna58 Thu 25-Mar-21 20:21:49

Of course my. Hairdresser knows best, she is trained to, I wouldn’t go to my GP or garage or builder and assume I knew best , she is no different.

NotTooOld Thu 25-Mar-21 21:47:20

I like a hairdresser to have opinions of her/his own and to tell me if I am asking them to do something that just will not work. I am so pleased because today I made an appointment for 13 May, my first one for 14 months, due to Covid.

Witzend Fri 26-Mar-21 07:45:41

Depends on the hairdresser, doesn’t it?
I’ve only ever had one truly brilliant one - a Lebanese bloke in a hotel salon when we were living abroad. I always came out of there very happy. He did know exactly what would suit you and your particular hair.

Since then I’ve tried umpteen local ones - one was good but soon left, the others have been nothing to shout about. I just go to the nearest now, who is OK, as long as I use the stylist who’s rather better than the only other one.

NotSpaghetti Fri 26-Mar-21 08:25:56

I've used the same hairdresser (infrequently) for years.

She knows I can't be bothered to spend time on my hair and shapes it accordingly, never suggesting anything high maintenance, and explaining the relative efforts required of different cuts...

While she's always (good-naturedly) frustrated by my lack of interest in "product" she gets quite a buzz if I let her use a shine spray or a hair-spray as I leave! ??

I think she's great. She listens and is multi-talented. I have never been pushed towards anything either.
Lucky me.

Blinko Fri 26-Mar-21 08:36:01

I once asked a hairdresser (no longer 'my' hairdresser) what she was using on my hair. She replied 'Producks!' That was years ago; she used to allow people to smoke in the shop. I soon found another hairdresser.

Lovetopaint037 Fri 26-Mar-21 08:39:21

I so envy all you who say you never visit a hairdresser and can do your own hair. I am trying to work out how you do it? It’s the back that is the biggest problem. I can probably see some of it in a mirror but not well enough to cut it. Do you have special scissors, brilliant eyesight for peering into the other mirror, a steady hand etc. Love to know.

Newatthis Fri 26-Mar-21 09:16:36

I have had so many haircut disasters that I feel sure now that the English I speak to hairdressers is totally different to theirs. I’ve even taken photos in and come out with a hairstyle nothing like the photo. I think these days I prefer to go to the dentist, less painful!

honeyrose Fri 26-Mar-21 09:41:24

I do wonder whether certain hairdressers know what half an inch means (even the older hairdressers) as I have ended up with more cut off than I wanted. Perhaps I should go metric when I explain how much I want cutting off. Mine is curly - or rather it was - it seems more wavy now that I’ve gone completely grey. Can’t quite explain why. I no longer ask for a blow dry as I’ve had some very disappointing ones in the past - as one poster said it ends up looking like I’m going to a 1970’s dinner dance - a shampoo and set type of style. Thankfully, the day my daughter got married 5 years ago, I had a really good blow dry (exactly what I wanted) so I didn’t look like a relic from the past on the wedding photos. As I’m now in my mid 60’s, and beginning to look and feel my age, I don’t want to look even older (and dare I say frumpy) so I enter the hairdressers with a bit of reluctance. Having said that, looking forward to getting it cut (not TOO short though) in mid/end April.

Alioop Fri 26-Mar-21 10:45:12

My hairdresser would never put my hair in a middle parting cos she thinks it looks like you have had an axe through your head.... Through lockdown I have 'trained' my hair now to go to a middle parting instead of the side and u do prefer it. It'll be interesting when I get to go again what she will say.

greenlady102 Fri 26-Mar-21 10:51:15

i find this pretty amazing...if you went to the butchers and asked for beef and they gave you chicken you wouldn't put up with it!
Yes you have to be able to communicate to hair dressers what it is that you want and pictures will help there but you customer, them not!
The only exception I will stipulate is chemical treatments. My hairdresser won't dye my hair blue because she says, and I believe her, that my hair wouldn't stand the stripping process and it would break off. She says she would do it scarlet because it wouldn't need to be stripped.

greenlady102 Fri 26-Mar-21 10:54:13


Of course my. Hairdresser knows best, she is trained to, I wouldn’t go to my GP or garage or builder and assume I knew best , she is no different.

but I would! I expect excellent professional advice from them but in the end, dangerous or illegal activity excepted, the choice and the decision is mine!

Grandmacong Fri 26-Mar-21 11:02:05

I haven’t been out to the hairdresser since March last year due to COVID-19 and managed to keep cutting my hair around my face but couldn’t manage the back (despite watching many YouTube videos on the subject). However, I was so desperate last month that I allowed my DH to have a go at cutting the back (under STRICT instructions from me on how’). I ordered a home colouring kit on line and WOW why didn’t I do that before! The style and colour I want at a fraction of the cost and time. Hopefully this wasn’t a fluke and I can repeat the process in 8 week’s time! ?

Lilith Fri 26-Mar-21 11:12:20

Hairdressers/stylists are inclined (generally) to be quite conservative with older clients, oft thinking that we all want to look conservative (with a small c)... Yup some do, however many of us don't, and want what isn't regarded by many as age appropriate. I no longer go to the hairdressers, (must be 50+ years, a very expensive, dire, uneven haircut by a chap, in plush salon ended my visits) I cut my own and sometimes tint it red/pink... its not difficult to DIY, just takes time, patience and practice. I think its sooo sad to see many older women, exit hairdressers with a style not unlike the queen, a 1950's look that is definitely not suited to most... its an easy cut/style that requires little effort on any hair type which means you can be in and out in no time. My first career was in hair/beauty, 5 years apprenticeship, starting with 3 years full-time college, altho. architecture was my first love but Pa said no, "Girls can't be architects"... Sorry I digress... I think that most of us can 'do' our own hair especially with all that is on Youtube... Talk to your hairdresser and tell her/him how you feel about the way older women are too oft treated, mostly not heard as in lots of other situations but that's another story, for another day, the invisibility of the older woman :-(

Nannytopsy Fri 26-Mar-21 11:13:54

It is nearly 6 months since my last cut, which was a disaster! My hairdresser was sick just as I arrived, so she went home and a very young girl completely butchered my hair despite the photo I took in of me and my hair ! I had to go back the next day to have it tidied up but was told to leave it at least three months for the damage to grow out! Of course everywhere closed and I can’t wait for my April appointment at a new hairdresser!

Granless Fri 26-Mar-21 11:14:58

During lockdown I have been cutting mine and hubbies hair - he finishes the back off on mine. Must say I am pleased with it cos I know my hair! One side lies different to the other and the back hairline grows up one side more than the other. It’s a difficult hairline to get right.
The hairdresser when I first pointed out the ‘problems’ with my hair, I think objected to being told this and said ‘oh, you’re fussy aren’t you’ - say no more.

Gannygangan Fri 26-Mar-21 11:22:19

I have the most wonderful hairdresser in the world

He's just gorgeous. I love to go there. He smells divine as well. The whole place smells divine.

It is a tad expensive, ( or maybe not) but well worth it.

Fairyfeet Fri 26-Mar-21 11:25:35

My hairdresser cuts my hair well, but not in the style, or to the length that I request. She always cuts my fringe too short, and when I try to stop her she says she’s started so she’ll have to finish. Last December, she wasn’t available, and I booked with her trainee. My hair was perfect......just the right length, fringe dry cut, so not too short, and blow dried sleek, as opposed to puffy grandma effect. I’ll be booking with her as soon as they open up again. I just hope she doesn’t leave anytime soon.

Savvy Fri 26-Mar-21 11:29:27

I do wonder if men would put up with the same disregard from their barbers. If they ask for a short back and sides, they get a short back and sides. Why do women put up with such disrespect from their hairdressers? It's your hair and your body after all.

And yes, I would, and often do, question my doctor over my treatment as I've had a few who really shouldn't be practising - I'm still suffering the repercussions from at least one.

grannygranby Fri 26-Mar-21 11:29:39

No, they don't know what's best. I gave up years ago and cut it myself, and it looks great. They do it right one minute then completely can tell them what you don't want and they do it anyway. I think I lack the knack of communicating with them too. They don't get me.

icanhandthemback Fri 26-Mar-21 11:30:57

My husband is my hairdresser and he is the most likely to do what I want providing it isn't complicated. That is more than can be said by any hairdresser I've ever paid! Of course we do sometimes have mishaps but it grows again.

Chardy Fri 26-Mar-21 11:39:35

Daughter dropped out a science degree in her 3rd year at uni due to stress, and signed up for a 2 yr hairdressing course. The amount of science she learnt about not just colouring, but also shampoos, conditioner content and the dreaded 'product' really surprised us both. If you've coloured your hair, got away with it and don't do it too often, good for you. But your hairdresser knows how to do that for all sorts of different hair types, differrnt hair conditions etc.
PS I don't know a hairdresser who cuts her own hair!

jaylucy Fri 26-Mar-21 11:42:32

I would expect that with their training they would know best and mainly have been really lucky with the fact that I am usually so relieved to get my hair cut that I won't mind too much!
However, I had one time when I decided to try having a few lo lights - big mistake! My hair looked flat, dull and I hated it!
Twice I have been to our local hairdresser, just down the road from here. Both times I have left and hated what the same person has done.
The first time there were longer uneven lengths and the next time she had cut my hair into a bob(what I wanted) then proceeded to chop bits out of it, telling me I#d love it when she'd finished - I didn't. Won't be going there again as I'm too much of a coward to say that I don't want A to touch my hair again!
Thankfully I have found another salon that is great!

Chicklette Fri 26-Mar-21 11:43:02

I actually got really lucky 14 years ago when one of my DDs decided to train as a hairdresser. I went in every month for her to practice on me, and she has become very experienced at dealing with my thick (but thinning) very curly hair. She even does what I want when she doesn’t agree. I’ve grown out the silvers and 6 months ago got her to cut it really short to get rid of the brassy ends. She was reluctant but did it anyway. I didn’t like it that short but was relieved to get rid of the dye.

If any of you can find a friendly trainee and stick with them it might work? Previously I had so many bad experiences with hairdressers who knew better than me and left me looking like a poodle.

Amberone Fri 26-Mar-21 11:43:44

Over the years I've had really good hairdressers and some pretty poor ones. Even the ones who seem to listen and look at the pictures and agree with what you are saying often turn out something only remotely resembling what you asked for.

The best cut I ever had was when I was visiting New Zealand and decided one day to cut my hair. I wandered into a salon in Wellington, arranged an appointment for an hour later and when I went back she cut my very long hair off to about an inch all over. She cut it beautifully, with the minimum of fuss and even as it grew out a bit it kept it's shape. I was so impressed with her I considered briefly moving to New Zealand so she could be my hairdresser ?