AIBU - Friend borrowing car

I honestly think she’s taking you for mugs, the husband has said he won’t be getting another car, he doesn’t need to really, as yours is available every time she asks, I would have allowed it a couple of times but no more, I think she’s being more than cheeky, since it’s being going on for a couple of months, I think this will carry on, nothing has made her think that she shouldn’t be taking advantage, she expects it, it did make me smile when few posters said sell the car then she can’t borrow it, bit drastic isn’t it! Tell her No !

I think you will box yourself into a corner if you raise the insurance issue with her. You are stumped if she replies that she is covered for any car.
Just tell her straight that you want to discuss an awkward situation - you and husband thought she was borrowing the car initially as a one off but it has become more than that. You didn't mind the once but you don't want to do it again.

Nothing terrible is going to happen if you tell her this. It's not usual for families with one car to scrounge friends' cars. She needs to sort the problem out with her husband. He's ok, isn't he? He has their car when he needs it. So of course, he thinks they can manage with one. It's their problem, not yours.

Actually insurance is definitely central to the issue. Even if her insurance covers her, it will be for 3rd party only cover. I would insist she takes out day cover for the car which would give comprehensive cover. The cost of around £30 or£40 a time will soon put her off. I would never allow someone to drive a car of mine on third party only cover. Failing that, SORN the car.

No PinkCosmos if you are insured to drive your own car (is she - have you seen the certificate?) you can drive your own car ONLY. To drive another car you need a specific insurance declaration to say any car and it is 3rd party usually. Or on PinkCosmos insurance you could add her as another driver but it would probably cost you to do that. I seriously do not believe this is a real post as no one could be so ignorant about car insurance or allow this!

I know nothing about cars, their insurance things, or anything like it.
Once people start talking about "fully comp" it's way over my head.

I don't know what SORN means, either.

Statutory Off Road Notification - you state the car is not on the road and then you don't have to pay road tax.

Springy chicken is right. She needs to be told straight that she can't keep borrowing the car.
Get your husband to do it.
Whether he tells her or not, you can then forget about the car - leave it to your DH to deal with, as he's the one saying yes to her.

PinkCosmos,
Years ago we used to loan our (only) car to a neighbour. The husband was insured to drive it as we put him on our policy and he paid the costs. I have to say, it was our idea. They were great neighbours and at the time I didn’t drive so adding him on was inexpensive.

It was the only way that they could get to see their family as we lived in a remote area. They did have a car - but for a period of about three months it was off the road as it was being repaired by the husband in between working very long shifts. It needed parts which were hard to get hold of too. They had four children and struggled to make ends meet but we did know there would be an end to it - and eventually there was.

The problem here is really that you feel they should be able to solve the issue themselves. They do have one car and if it was my family I’d just steel myself to extra driving to take my husband to work.
It has no visible end and it seems unreasonable.

I would start with the insurance issue - as far as I can see, if they have only one car, only one of them is the “primary” driver. This means the second person (who is just a “named driver”) almost certainly isn’t even covered 3rd party. Also, some policies do not allow you to drive someone else’s vehicle for anything other than “social” driving (so no business use or commuting).

“Driving other cars” insurance is only ever third party insurance anyway so it will not cover any damage to your son’s old car you should something happen.

I’m pretty certain that here in the UK, they are driving off their insurance so really you need to know about that, not yours.
You might suggest they take out temporary cover each time - I did this with my son-in-law once and it was about £30 for a couple of days.
www.rac.co.uk/insurance/temporary-car-insurance (not recommending RAC, just posting this as it explains it a bit).

I hope you get this sorted. If it makes you resentful and there’s no end to it it will make you increasingly miserable. It will only get worse I feel.

Good luck.

It's not relevant to the issue but I'm insured fully comp to drive my husbands car and vice versa.

Yes, I am too nadateturbe but I assume (like us) you are named drivers on each other’s policies?

ElaineI

No PinkCosmos if you are insured to drive your own car (is she - have you seen the certificate?) you can drive your own car ONLY. To drive another car you need a specific insurance declaration to say any car and it is 3rd party usually. Or on PinkCosmos insurance you could add her as another driver but it would probably cost you to do that. I seriously do not believe this is a real post as no one could be so ignorant about car insurance or allow this!

This is a real post. I genuinely thought that you could drive another car if you had insurance for a car that you owned and drove.

I am wondering if our friend is also blissfully unaware

This may be the way out of this situation. I doubt if she will want to pay the extra insurance.

nadateturbe

It's not relevant to the issue but I'm insured fully comp to drive my husbands car and vice versa.

Yes. This is what I thought the insurance covered.

I thought that if you were insured full comp, you could drive any other car.

Pardon my ignorance if I am wrong.

MissAdventure

I know nothing about cars, their insurance things, or anything like it.
Once people start talking about "fully comp" it's way over my head.

I don't know what SORN means, either.

I know little about cars and insurance.

I am quite offended at people on hear assuming that I am an idiot because I don't know all the ins and outs of insurance.

SpringyChicken

I think you will box yourself into a corner if you raise the insurance issue with her. You are stumped if she replies that she is covered for any car.
Just tell her straight that you want to discuss an awkward situation - you and husband thought she was borrowing the car initially as a one off but it has become more than that. You didn't mind the once but you don't want to do it again.

Nothing terrible is going to happen if you tell her this. It's not usual for families with one car to scrounge friends' cars. She needs to sort the problem out with her husband. He's ok, isn't he? He has their car when he needs it. So of course, he thinks they can manage with one. It's their problem, not yours.

It's a bit of an 'I'm alright Jack' situation with her husband - as you say.

It was working fine for them having one car until he changed his job and is now working some shifts

I suppose you are right springychicken - they will probably say they already have insurance and it's hard to ask to see the policy!

And what if they say they will pay to go on yours? I hadn't thought about that as possibility.

Just say no!

Twice we have lent a 'spare' car to desperate neighbours for a few weeks. Both times it has come back filthy and with no petrol in the tank. Barely a word of thanks - I think we were given a bottle of wine. One completely abused the original agreement by driving it everywhere, not just to work as we thought. Wife had just started a new job 13 miles away. He used to take her to work and then use it for himself. so more than twice the mileage we were expecting. We promptly sold the car. Never, ever again.

I'm in the car business and I sincerely doubt she is insured - It's probably she's a named user of her husband's policy but it's rare these days that that covers her driving your car. If she's stopped by the police the car would be impounded - if she caused an accident they would throw the book at her and your insurance would take a dim view of you letting her drive it. Stop this now - there's far too many uninsured drivers on the road as it is.

If you have your own fully comprehensive insurance on your own car you can drive a car that you don't own (with the owner's permission) but your are ONLY covered 3rd party. So if you put the borrowed car in the ditch the insurance company won't pay up. Check the policy very very carefully.

Find out how much it would cost to add her (fully comp) to your insurance then ask her for the money! I think though putting it in SORN might be the best way though.

As a one-off for a genuine emergency, I would probably allow it, but I would also be asking her for her details to add to my insurance policy as a named driver for that occasion only and it would be time limited.
Details would include date of birth and details of any penalty points on her licence.

And it wouldn’t happen again as I would expect her to have made alternative arrangements going forward.

You and your husband are being taken for mugs.

Refuse all further requests.

Pinkcosmos, I agree with what I think has already been mentioned here: the mileage issue. If you feel that you need a reason to say no, then maybe just go with this tactic? Having a stated (maximum) mileage per year can reduce your own insurance costs. So you wouldn't want anyone else to use up your "allowance"? Plus the higher the mileage, then the less a car's re-sale value. Surely your neighbour can't argue with that?

Is she filling it with fuel but more importantly is she covered fully comprehensive or third party?

When she asks next time just say no. You dont need a reason or an excuse.

Have you checked she is actually insured to drive your car? And I mean actually seen proof not just take her word for it as if she is stopped you will be done for allowing an uninsured driver to use your car and it will be impounded and you will have to pay the fees to get it back.
Also does she put fuel in the car?
She is definitely taking the mick

PinkCosmos

nadateturbe

It's not relevant to the issue but I'm insured fully comp to drive my husbands car and vice versa.

Yes. This is what I thought the insurance covered.

I thought that if you were insured full comp, you could drive any other car.

Pardon my ignorance if I am wrong.

If they have only one car, then only one of them can be the 'main policyholder', the other is just a named driver on the policy. The main policyholder can usually drive any other car on a third party cover - but not always, especially with a cheap insurance policy.

Third party means they are legal on the road but if there's an accident the insurance will only pay out for the other person involved and their vehicle, not yours. Additionally, if the wife is the named driver on their car insurance then she won't be covered to drive your car. Either way, the insurance is a problem and you're likely to lose out if there's an accident.

As others have said, if you want to keep the car available for you to use then suggest the neighbour takes out temporary insurance each time they use the car - and make sure you see their policy as proof!

Otherwise, declare the car off-road (SORN), provided that you can keep it on your property and not on the road (!) - it's very easy to do and you can do it online. Then you will save the cost of road tax and it's not available for her to use. If you decide to make the car off-road, do it before the start of a new month as you have to pay for a whole month's tax if the car is not off-road before the 1st of the month.