To get frustrated with my husband sitting in his armchair for 14 hours a day !

As this is since the surgery perhaps he needs reminding that he has been fixed and now is supposed to build himself up again and not sit around........It really is very unhealthy and he probably needs a prompt. As others have suggested try not to enable this.

Maybe stop waiting on him so that he has to get up and fix his own meal etc. He needs some gentle exercise really.
Just live your own life and let him get on with it if he really won't listen.

Is your husband aware that he risks deep venous thrombosis if he sits for long without moving?

Also, is he aware of the need to drink enough water?

What is the reason for his dizzy spells? He needs to know, as he has to avoid falls.

What sort of dizziness? Does he feel vertigo i.e. the room swaying or turning round: Or is his dizziness a general weakness? Maybe too low blood pressure?

Whatever, he needs to stand up slowly from sitting or lying down.

I am very much in the same boat as OP, so I have been reading the answers closely,

I have tried to tread the path between nagging and positive encouragement, and to a certain extent it is working.

I too suspect that OP's husband is scared and not liking this reminder that none of us live for ever.

Mine has admitted to feeling fairly useless and guilty about leaving so much to me, so I have already tried to suggest things I know he can do, and to ask for help with things I could manage alone, but which are within his capacity.

OP can you ring and make an appointment with your husband's GP about the dizzy spells? They can be caused by a variety of different, treatable and not dreadfully serious complaints, but until you know what causes them, you and he will worry about them.

Sounds to me as if your DH like mine deals with worries by ignoring them and watching mind-numbing TV instead of getting off his backside and dealing with the worry!

I’m equally frustrated by my husband sitting doing nothing all day. It’s a year since he had a heart attack so I know part of his problem is fear but he seems to be totally unaware of the workload his abdication of living is creating. The only thing I can think of to improve things for short periods is to actually ask him if he will do XYZ for me. I honestly think he’s become so wrapped up in how he feels physically and mentally that with out these little nudges he’s simply oblivious. I don’t expect things will get any better but I do know that I can really only change how I feel or react to the situation.

I think a major illness or operation can have a bad effect on your mental health. I was rushed into the local cardiac unit a few years ago, it is very sobering being on a unit like that for a few days. You see emergencies, people going to theatre for life or death operations and maybe the same for yourself. I've got over it and I'd say I'm back to normal but maybe he needs some help to regain himself. Some counselling perhaps?

Has he had any physio OP? I had exercises to reduce the risk of falls, it seems silly little exercises sometimes but has made a world of difference to me.

Is it just men who cannot think forward logically?

A few weeks ago we had EP not leaving his house to be vaccinated in case he caught COVID, while running the much higher risk of having a heart attack/stroke/ badfall/ among many things at home. and nobody knowing and getting help, because no one has seen him to miss him.

Now we have all the men mentioned on this thread, worried by thoughts of their mortality, while adopting a policy - sitting down in a chair all day - that is only likely to hasten their demise by increasing their chances of a coronary thrombosis and other problems - like constipation - which men seem prone to, because of lack of exercise.

My husband is exactly the same - it is so frustrating for me! He has not had surgery but is prone to panic attacks and is on a lot of medication. He has COPD and still smokes ?. He is very into himself and I have got into the bad habit of waiting on him. He does no jobs in the house and if I have asked him to help on the odd occasion, he flatly refused. I am stuck to some extent as he MUST use the car at all times (panic attacks) so I get to be chaperoned around - dropped off and picked up by him - which is so frustrating (and controlling).

My husband agrees to do certain jobs that he considers his, then procrastinates so long that I have to do them eg empty the rubbish, change a light bulb. The garden is so overgrown but he wont get help with it. He didn't get the outdoor furniture out of the shed this year and I can’t manage it by myself, but I don’t want to sit out in an overgrown garden.
I know he has no energy and often does not feel well. The latest is his feet. He thinks he has pulled a muscle.
There are so many things I want him to sort out and throw out before he gets any older, but it isn’t happening.
I turned down a short trip away with my daughter for several good reasons, but one of them was that we had an online supermarket delivery due and he said it would knacker him if he had to deal with it himself. All that bending and lifting.

Cabbie
Rearrange shopping for another time and go and recharge your batteries.

Usually when you have had heart valve surgery you are encouraged to take it easy and do no lifting for about 3 months. Sounds as if your dh has fallen into a rut, got you waiting on him, and wants to continue. After 3 months regular exercise is recommended, gradually building up. If you get dizzy, however, you are told to stop - but not for ever, just for that moment! There are also heart rehabilitation programmes your GP should have offered.

I think your dh has lost confidence and is too scared to do much and this makes it worse. Loads of people have heart valve ops and live for years if he is worried about that. He should really see the GP as the inactivity is bad for his heart and being dizzy needs sorting too. Having said that I am in a similar but not as bad position with my dh. He works from home doing consultancy work so spends a lot of time sat glued to his mobile or computer. He does potter around in his polytunnel but beyond the occasional short walk with me and the dog takes no other exercise. He does absolutely nothing around the house and like you I find myself doing it all. If I get mad it makes no difference. His heart op was 5 years ago. I am sure you found that traumatic too. Maybe that fear is why we put up with it but it is not satisfactory. I do understand how you feel. It is very frustrating.

Cabbie you should have left him at home for a fortnight and with the food order to deal with. If he wanted to eat and/or not be surrounded by rotten food. He would have to do something.

DH had a heart attack, a triple bypass operation and then an extra three operations and six weeks in hospital to deal with an antibiotic resistant infection between November and January

We were worried that he would turn into a slug once dicharged and do as OP's DH is doing. Thankfully, for all of us, his idea of therapy was to finally get the builders in to build the extension we have permission for because he wanted it built before he died!

This meant that because he has always been a very hands-on person, he was soon struggling outside to check on progress, then he was working out if he could cut costs by doing some of the work himself, and now, while still with breathing problems, he is doing 2nd fit electrics and installing the guttering.

What the OP's DH needs is a project!