Looking after grandchildren whilst ill

Totally selfish of the parents, hard to believe they can be so uncaring. And no backup from your DH - words fail me. Hope you’re all feeling better.

I’m with other posters on here - your DH has contributed more than his fair share to this mess, so stay in bed and let him deal with the children until your daughter and son in law come to pick them up. And when you’re both feeling better, I would be having a conversation with him to explain how badly he has let you down by not having your back when you clearly had serious concerns.

I’m sorry but when your daughter and son in law arrive I would be letting them have all your pent up anger and frustration, regardless of how your DH feels. How utterly irresponsible to leave a young child who’s clearly so unwell as to be vomiting. As soon as you messaged them to advise what was happening they should have come straight back, regardless of what your DH said - to carry on ‘partying’ while fully aware of the awful situation you’re in is inexcusable. And definitely don’t let them stay with you overnight - judging by how quickly it passed to you and your DH you may end up looking after them if they come down with it. If they have a four hour drive after picking up the children, they should factor this in, arrive earlier to collect the children and go straight home. Staying in an hotel may solve the problem but irresponsible IMO as it risks a wider outbreak of a clearly very contagious bug.

As you say, it may cause a rift if you speak out, but I think you need to. They left you in an awful situation and they need to know that that can’t happen again.

Well you have got through it, an unusual situation and hopefully a one off. The main issue is, as you have said, no one paid attention to what you were saying. I think that this experience will make you much more wary of committing in the future. Hopefully you will feel better after a few good nights rest.

That's terrible. I can't believe how selfish your daughter and son in law have been. Are they normally like this to is it out of character.
Apart from apparently not caring at all about your health they don't seem to care about the comfort of their own children.
I am progressive in most things and don't begrudge parents enjoying themselves and having time to themselves but I think once people decide to have children they should always put their needs first. And if that means not going to party they have looked forward to for a long time so be it.

As I see it there is a fine line between being flattered that our AC believe we are fit enough and have the energy to look after their children and the reality namely that there is generally a good reason why we do not have babies in our 60’s.
It can be depressing though if our AC make it obvious that they think we are too old for Granny duty , so it can be very hard to say No when asked.
Some years ago when GSs 1 and 2 were just 2 1/2 and 10 months, DH and I found ourselves agreeing to move into D and SIL’s house to look after the boys while they flew to New York for the weekend.- flying out Friday, back Tuesday morning.
Absolute lunacy. In hindsight it was a stupid idea fraught with danger but at the time we were in our early /mid 60’s and it was flattering that they thought we were up to it. And n fact we felt up to it.
DH had developed a cough and a migraine by the end of the Saturday and fortunately D2 plus boyfriend came up from London for the Sunday as extra pairs of hands and then D’s daily nanny was back at work on the Monday.
No way would I agree to anything like that again and in your case OP I think your woes were compounded by all of you catching whatever the little one had and your DH not speaking out when he had the chance. It doesn’t sound as if you had any back up,either, which I would now always insist on- what if either of you had had to be hospitalised?
Whatever it was, it should be a lesson to us all that we are not Supergran and while it may sound harsh, the bottom line in childcare is “Their children, their problem”

Blueant Well done and wise and perceptive decisions made for the future - particularly ensuring that you are heard

I just rang DD and asked her what she thought. Her answer was "FIVE NIGHTS???" and that was before she knew they were ill. She was completely speechless by the end of the story.

Do you think you've all had the norovirus? My son has been extremely poorly with it. Best wishes for your speedy recovery.

frankly, i don't think most AC carefully weigh up and decide their parents/in-laws are fit and able enough to look after young children.
they just see a convenient source of usually free child-care and grab it.
i have seen it many times with people i know.
the elders are often run ragged and exhausted.

Wow I'm a new mum and I'd never do that to my parents or husbands parents. I understand they want to see their friends but unfortunately for them parenting comes first. How incredibly selfish of them.

BlueAnt

What happened in the end? Did you leave DH to deal with them?
Did they get the bug?

Read the posts!

The one from Blueant at 08-31 on 9/11 explains what happened