AIBU to be really upset, almost in mourning for the loss of my car, or just ridiculous

A car is not a person - just be grateful nobody was hurt.

DH’s Toyota was written off when a delivery driver reversed into it at speed. It wasn’t a car that he was particularly fond of but it was annoying in that he’d kept it in such good condition. However the Toyota garage where we always buy and MOT our cars had just had a three year old car brought in and he bought that with the insurance money. It’s does so many miles to the gallon we can hardly believe it. I’ve never been a confident driver but I had a little red Fiesta that I loved. I was so happy driving it. And I still have my Morris 1000 Travellers number plate. He took us all over Europe: up and down mountains…never let us down. I’d suggest going to a local Toyota dealer. I know you’d pay a bit more than buying privately but the one we use has some great bargains. Glad no one was hurt. Do you think you’re probably more shook up about it than you realise?

I had a silver Hyundai Trajet people carrier, new, in our silver wedding year. I loved it. I used it for my childminding business, we used it as our family car. We towed our caravan to the south of France with it several years running, full of teenage sons and their friends. Wonderful times.
Then one year it had been playing up just before I went on holiday with friends. I left my husband in charge of taking it to the garage to get it fixed while I was away. I didn't hear from him for several days so rang to see how it was.
He excitedly told me he'd decided to trade it in instead and buy me another, even bigger, people carrier. I was horrified!
When I got home we went to pick the new one up but I refused to drive it home, it seemed massive. I had no option but to learn to get to grips with it though and I love it now.
Still miss my silver wedding car though ?

MOnica you are probably still in the stages of shock following that accident. Will take a time for this to wear off. As it does, you will probably feel better about the car.

Following any accident - the ONLY thing that really matters is that Non-one was hurt-and it does sound as if is true for you. Have to seen your GP, both you and your hubbie. Shock can cause all sorts of problems.

Sure you have memories attached to a car you had for so long - BUT - as some of keep repeating in house moving posts, the memories are safely stories in our brains and hearts and do not need brick or metal prompts.

Get over the shock, take your time selecting a new car, and you will be amazed as to how many improvements, in terms of safety elements, fuel usage etc and tax and comfort you will find.

I feel your pain, thankfully no one was injured and you now have to look around for another car. I think of my last car, like yours that I loved so much, I still see it tootling around and miss it. I have another new car now, not the same connection at all. In time if it behaves itself who knows. Going luck and glad you are alright, what a shock.

I know how you feel!
My previous car, a Focus, was 21 years old! It was still going strong and looking pretty good, but although driving locally was no problem, I’d become a bit nervous of driving it to a dd, in case it decided to die on me on the ghastly 6 lane stretch of the invariably busy M25 - a journey I do fairly often.

My previous car, pretty ancient but not quite that old, had died on me, but thankfully just down the road.

We traded it in for a mere 2 year old, and I was convinced that they’d scrap it - I felt a bit as if a dog or cat was going to be put to sleep!
But dh later found out somehow that it had been sold on, hooray, and was still on the road. I’m glad I won’t know when the new owner finally has to ‘put it to sleep’.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. The main thing is that no-one was hurt, but I completely understand how you feel about losing the old family friend that was your car.
I get very fond of my cars and always give them names.
My present one is Lady Gaga and she's beautiful and just purrs along. I often think that there are three of us stuck out in the country here, me, Wiggy (pet bird) and Lady Gaga.
They are my immediate family. .
I do hope you find a new car that you can grow fond of.

So pleased that you were both able to walk away from this Monica your car has kept you safe for 14 years and this last time she still kept you safe , so I can understand how upset you are.
But it still might be worth having the car back and getting it checked over for any chassis damage, they will write old cars off purely because of the Labour cost of repair and repainting, especially in an older car. However the fact that’s it’s a write off, but has been made roadworthy will be noted on the log book and you would obviously have to tell your Insurance Company.
Happy new car hunting.

M0nica, I feel for you. I had a battered old Toyota for years. When it was taken to a garage to be scrapped I returned the next day just to have a final look at it. It was the scruffiest car you'd ever seen but it was totally reliable for years and years till eventually the bodywork fell apart. I still think about it sometimes now and I'm not the slightest bit interested in cars.

Forgot to say, they will Grade the ‘write off’ so it might only be a very low category because the cost of repair is more than the car is worth, for example a door and a wing might not be financially worth it, but might be fairly cheap to repair if you have friends in the car repair business.

My sympathy, Monica, you must still be very shaken.

I had to give up my much loved red and white Fiat 500 when DH had to stop driving and I had to have a car he could get in and out of. The Fiat now lives with DD and is being driven by DGD1 too so that was a really good outcome. And I have to admit that I do like the turquoise Ford Fiesta which replaced it, not least because so much is automatic - having been very snooty about people who were too lazy to change gear!

Let’s face it, having a car and still being able to drive is really what matters most.

So sorry MOnica such a shame and I guess you are shaken up with it. Cars took over from horses and I think a lot of people do treat them as part of the family. Take care

My husband is a trained Agricultural mechanic and when our son wrote his Fiesta off, he was able to 'buy' the so-called wreck back from the insurance company and refit a new wing and grille, so that after a re-spray the can could be re-licensed and is now running again.
I don't know if you can still do this.

can? = car!

M0nica I absolutely sympathise - when my last car - a much-loved Fiat Panda - was nearing the end, I couldn't face having it scrapped, so gave it to my nephew so as to avoid witnessing the end of it's life.. He got good use from it which I was very happy about.

YANBU but its a thing....just a thing. use things; love people

'old' cars can be written off with very little damage. Couldn't you find out how much repairsmight be? Insurer only work on resale value and that it totally based on age so if the resale value is £250 and the repairs would cost £300 it would be a write-off.
No, you know what value is. and are not being unreasonable.

Totally and utterly sympathise. My nearly 15 year old Toyota Prius had its main battery fail out of the blue. Too expensive to have a new one installed. Two weddings, two funerals, four grandchildren and several holidays later I wept to have to say goodbye.

My son had a similar problem with his car….written off due to its age…but it’s a classic….so worth repairing…..I can’t remember the details but the short story is he got it repaired and still has it….talk to your insurance people….if there’s nothing major damaged I’m sure you should be able to save it….although you may never feel quite the same about it again.

Condolences M0nica. I am so sorry your car is a write off. A reliable car is ones best friend and its a great loss. Hope that when you get a replacement it begins to fill the shoes of the one you had. Wishing you all the very best.

I know how you feel MOnica. I had my car stolen from outside the front of my house. It was an older car but I had looked after it and it had been with me through many years of events, taking the children to school etc and I felt safe in it. The people that stole it used if for a getaway car after a ram raid, Then they set fire to it and left it to die. I was very upset and like you my Insurance company were great, but that wasn't the point.

I would take it to a small established garage and ask them to look at it. You never know. Insurance companies are quick to write off vehicles

Is it really a write-off? An accident where the other driver reversed in to me and the insurance company wanted to write it off (15year old vw) They wanted to give me £1300 but there was no way I could have replaced my car with anything so reliable, for that price. And I’d been paying fully comp for years. I took it to an independent garage and it turned out that all that was necessary was realigning a headlight. There was a little cosmetic damage but the important thing was that my car still has lots of years left -I had it from new and kept up with servicing. In the end after lots of argument I paid for the repair myself and got some compensation from the insurer.

Many years ago my first new little car - Rover Knightsbridge was written off. I cried.
If you have had it a long time and have memories associated with it, it's even more understandable to be so upset. I feel sad for you.

I love my old car, love it with a passion. I often sing (alone!) as I just feel good driving it because it is smart and elegant. It is very old but looks marvelous and is often remarked upon. It has never ever let me down and when it finally goes - if it predeceases me - I will be bereft. I understand completely, MOnica - try the 'buying it back' route, it might be well worth it.