AIBU to be really upset, almost in mourning for the loss of my car, or just ridiculous

I can empathise MOnica. I had a Citroën Dyane for years until we sold it and I inherited DH's Volvo and I was devastated as it's new owner drove off in it.

We currently have a Yaris which neither of us like driving .

Monica, if the car is not too badly damaged could you buy it back from the insurance company and get it repaired. I understand this is sometimes done.

YANBU
Glad neither of you were injured.

I’d not go down the repair route personally, cars never lose the “written off” label - it would have to be declared on your insurance etc, and as you say it would probably be more cost effective to get a different car.
Good luck whatever you decide to do ?

If you're not going to replace the car then it's saying goodbye to a way of life, not just the car so I understand. I'll feel sad when I make that decision in the years to come.

Not unreasonable if that's how you feel. But it's best not to get too attached to non-living things, I think. Living people and animals are what really matter.

Thankfully you are both ok - that is the main thing. The car? Could you take your mind of your lost car, and start looking around for what you will purchase next? That's exciting, and may help take your mind of this car being scrapped.

Totally understand M0nica each time MOT comes around i am uber anxious as car is now 18yrs old!! Had it from new and i would be bereft if i had to scrap it...i don't do a lot of driving as can't sit for long but its the constant in my life as its always been reliable...am crossing my fingers and toes now as don't want to tempt fate...

YANBU You cherished your car and due to someone else's behaviour you have had it taken away from you. Glad no one was injured but you may well still be in shock about the whole incident. Give yourself time to reconcile what happened.

I would be the same if it had been my car. I've had it for 12 years, a white Mégane coupé, and I love it. It passed its MOT in December again and I was delighted. My friend had his car damaged in a hit and run y'day, £2000 worth of damage done and I thought if it had been my car it prob would of been scrapped and I would of been gutted.
Glad you and your husband are both ok.

Not unreasonable at all. My car in now quite old, not sure how old exactly probably about 12 years, had it from new and I still love it. I have barely used it since lockdown apart from hairdressers and shopping but I plan to run it for as long as possible. There have been people in my life (not husband or family) that I would miss much less than my car.

I had a lovely red Ford Fiesta which I loved, I always liked the sports car MX 5 and said often that I liked it. One day my husband took me out for a test drive in one, when we finished he handed me back the keys and said it’s yours. I cried and cried as I didn’t want it I loved my fiesta. It was much better in a dream than in reality.

If you are feeling upset and almost in mourning, then there is nothing unreasonable or ridiculous about it.

You feel what you feel, and telling yourself that it is unreasonable is pointless - it's a feeling, and that's all there is to it.

The thing now is to look forward and consider what to do to make you feel better. Buy a new car? See if you can get the old one fixed? Decide not to drive for a while to see if you can manage on public transport? Hire a chauffeur? . Whatever you think might work for you is worth investigating.

What I would suggest though, is that you are kinder to yourself, and let yourself feel what you feel without censoring it.

She?

I feel your pain M0nica.
I always get attached to my car's, and feel sad when they have to go. My current car belonged to my late Mum before I inherited it,so I am doubly attached to it and dread the day it has to go. YANBU.

I had to scrap my ten years old push bike recently and was talking to it all the way on the walk down to the dump. It was like a trusted friend ?

When someone wrote off my Honda I was able to take the insurance payment and buy it back for scrap for £50 and as it was perfectly drivable I just lived with a large dent for the next few years.

You're not being silly at all. My old Shogun is 20 years old and has done 20020 miles now. I part exchanged it for a much newer shinier one last year at our local village garage. When I saw him driving around in it I felt really sad and bought it back! It's tatty and a bit battered but I love it. Will be very upset when it eventually goes to the scrapyard in the sky.

I still miss 'Mitsy' the Mitsubishi after 28 years. I had bought her new years before and she moved to Portugal with us.
3 years later she was stolen and never seen again, a limited edition car and sadly missed.

I've been in mourning for my Yaris for a year. It failed its MoT very comprehensively and had to go the the big scrap merchant in the sky. My Kia Picanto is a great little car but it's not a Yaris!

Toyotas are good. I’d be tempted to get some repair quotes, take the insurance money and run. The write off money will barely scratch the surface of the repair, but it would probably be hugely expensive to replace like for like. Years ago we wrote off a yellow Fiesta. Saw it driving around a few years later. Grrrh.

I don’t drive so I’m not a petrol- head but I was VERY upset when someone wrote off our Mini Cooper S last May. I bought it for my OH when his manager at work said that he could no longer keep his company vehicle st weekends. I can still see the man’s face when he came with his son to pick up the company car and he saw the beautiful Mini parked in our drive. When my chap explained that I’d bought it for him he couldn’t speak, just growled . I’m still upset about the idiot who smashed into it even though we were paid out and got another nice car. That car was a lovely memory of something I was able to do for the man I loved who, tragically, died in January.

So sorry tictacnana, but what a lovely memory of buying that car.?

So sorry to hear of this, completely understand, and glad nobody was hurt. You can keep the car though, it is just insurance companies compare the cost of repairs to value of car. We had the same when my late Mother had a very minor knock, and her insurers wanted to write it off. Her local garage fixed it, replaced damaged bumper and the car continued on its happy way.

If the car is fixable but the insurers have written it off (because they feel it will be too expensive for them) I think I'm right in saying that you can buy the car from them and have it fixed yourself.

Having said that I'm of the 'a car's a car' school of thought and would relish the thought of a new one!

I've just had a similar experience. I gave my daughter my 11 year old car when I got a new Micra. Unfortunately she skidded on ice before Christmas and the car was a write off. I then lent her my new car as she needs a car to get the children to school. As luck would have it she hit a post in a car park and the bonnet is badly damaged. I'm leaving it into a repair shop tomorrow. It could cost up to £900. I feel I'd have been better keeping my old car!