Phone calls on Mother's Day

I never expect anything, amazed when any of them do remember. Which is lovely when they do. Last year had video of son opening a card which he forgot to send! It’s just a day. Feel the same about birthdays and Christmas. More important is the love between you. Expressing that when you can, on bad days and good days. Not just the so-called celebration days,

My daughter not contacted me for nearly 15 years (I know where she is, and that she is now married and has a son (internet great thing !) so I always send cards etc but she knows where I am and still nothing ....her life ! what can I say ! On the other hand I have a wonderful 'Hon Daughter' (long story) who took me out to lunch on M Day, gave me a lovely bunch of flowers ....told her there is absolute no need but she and her husband are wonderful ! They often do little odd jobs for me that I can no longer manage....I am truly blessed to have her ! and appreciate the things she does for me (her own mother died when she was young)

Jane43 what a lovely family you have ?

Having had a number of years being estranged from both of my adult sons I was very grateful that they both visited on Sunday although I instigated the visit by offering to feed them. I was also delighted with the unexpected gifts and cards. DS2 rarely does cards or gifts but brought both. It’s really hard not to feel upset and/or hurt when you don’t hear from them especially on these occasions but take heart OP , they do change as they grow older and their perspectives can be influenced by the relationships that they build so it may not always be this way. I find that if I wish for just the minimum I am rarely disappointed and often surprised. Time spent with them on whatever day is so precious, but a text is better than nothing. I hope you get to spend time with them soon even if you have to suggest/organise it.

Nanny2859

I think I need to learn to accept that I'm further down the pecking order. Its hard when DIL's and SIL's parents always seem to be a higher priority. I hate feeling jealous but find it hard not to.

Yes I understand this. My DD sent a supermarket food delivery which was welcome but no card just a phone call very late in the evening. She never sends cards. I have to accept that I am not that important now. When I mentioned a friend having a 4th Covid jab she said it was a waste as old people will die anyway, goodness knows where I went wrong but she has "posh" new friends now and I never get to meet them, I think I am no use any more. It is very hard to accept, I suppose she has outgrown me, I live alone and often have a little weep.

RVK1CR Thats sad ??

My son usually videocalls me every Saturday and I get to see my grandson that way as they live abroad. I got my usual call on Saturday so thought he'd forgotten Mothering Sunday, then while out for a walk on Sunday with my daughter he called again. I hadn't expected that as other countries have mother's day at a different times and so assumed he'd forgotten. You are not being unreasonable. It is an important occasion.

We have a family WhatsApp group now and rarely ring each other - I got Happy Mother’s Day messages on there and sent them to my DDs and DDIL. I did get a surprise visit from DS, who’d forgotten he’d contributed to the joint MD present and turned up with another one.

I have 3 children, one is estranged so doesn't communicate at all, for the past 8 months, one never sends cards or texts to wish me happy Mother's Day and my daughter phoned me at 4 on Mother's Day and said I have got you a card and some bits, but seeing as I will see you in a fortnight will give them to you then!

I am always shocked when someone posts about feeling neglected, alone or forgotten by their adult children, that so many others pile in with THEIR stories of how much in touch/looked after/remembered THEY are by their children. Do those people have NO sensitivity at all to other people's feelings? Or does it just get overridden by the impulse to show off at other people's expense? So very sad.

kwest

Isn't there a saying about an ungrateful child being sharper than a serpents tooth?

Yes and it’s so accurate.

@CarlyD7 agreed

I’d hate it if I got a phone call, can’t stand speaking on the phone . I saw my DD and DS1 but DS2 sent me a text which I was very happy with. He had tried to ring me but my phone was on silent so I didn’t hear it. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it

Yes CarlyD7, true.