Phone calls on Mother's Day

I received a M&S bouquet from DD in Australia on Saturday morning, despite their Mothers Day being in May.

DIL dropped a card through the door whilst we were cooking Sunday lunch, and nipped off, didn’t call in. No sign of DS, but GS referees football matches on Sundays, so no doubt busy with that.

With them, it’s all or nothing. Sometimes receive flowers etc, sometimes not.

They only live a few minutes away, but now the grandchildren are older, just don’t see much of them. Think we are not as needed or useful now, but that’s the way it goes.

It is always disappointing when our AC do not behave as we would wish. However I would have probably text back and thanked them for the wishes & asked what time would be convenient for a chat.
As a child Mothering Sunday meant making a card at Sunday School then going into the Morning Service and the vicar giving each child flowers to give to their mother. That was it. No idea if my mum ever sent her mum a card? I suspect churches still do something similar but we do not go. In my family Mothering Sunday often clashed with either my birthday at the beginning of March or my mum's birthday at the end of the month... so often incorporated into another celebration.
I has become a big commercial event now with raised expectations which consequently results in greater disappointment!

I had maybe the best Mothering Sunday in years! My son always cooks for his in- laws on the day and yesterday I was invited too. Super meal, great company. It made me realise how little I have seen of them or anyone apart from my husband and my daughter these past two years.

Sorry Nanny2859, I meant to say, It is alway better to get a call than a text from family, but at least he remembered.

@Aldom thankyou!

For me its not so much about the gifts, though my youngest bought me gin and a scented candle it was lovely as the gin had a special Mothers day message- but in all honesty I was so pleased for him to spend time with me.

My husband bought me flowers because he knew I was upset by the actions of my older son. Its not the gifts, I'd have been happy with a phone call or a card, just an action that showed care... I feel like actions speak louder than words. All he did was complain about Mother's Day and said that "every day should be about children". He also said he and his wife were indifferent to "festivals". I honestly thought we had made progress with them, but we haven't seen them for a few months now and they refuse to even make any plans for Easter. I didn't react to any of this nonsense or answer his last message because it made absolutely no sense to me at all and was completely disrespectful.

@ Ashcombe thanks for the link about Mothering Sunday. I think the Christian origins may explain my older son's aversion to it as they have been pagan for a few years.

I suppose with us, so much of what we celebrate is tradition that it feels very odd when someone bows out.

DS2 phoned from Majorca at 8.15, though my body clock still thought it was 7.15 and I wasn't quite awake. DS2 called on a bad line from Egypt. He had sent a gift before he left last week, DS1's flowers came around midday. Both also sent numerous photographs. So I didn't do badly considering that they were both out of the country!

I have found that since my DS's have had GF's they have been better at remembering Mother's Day, birthdays etc.

This is no excuse but I think women are better at remembering these occasions and the upset it can cause if forgotten.

People do not know what is important to you unless you tell them.

Phone calls and cards have largely been replaced by texts, my grandson and his friends would never phone or send cards to each other. I just think it is the way of the world now that only older people want cards or phone calls for events.

One of my sons gave me a card on Saturday, but then called me at 1pm yesterday to see if I would join him and his family for an impromptu Mother's day lunch out.

I didn't get anything, not even a text, from my other son. I saw on Facebook a week ago that he had mistakenly thought it was Mother's day then, and had given my dil a really lovely gift on behalf of the children.

I think it's lovely that he is such a thoughtful husband (doesn't get that from his dad!), but I couldn't help feeling a little upset that he didn't even think to send me a short text, either last week or this.

I had to give myself a good talking-to. Although I don't see him very often now that I am no longer needed for regular childminding, we are on good terms, and I know I could always turn to him for help if I needed it, so I really shouldn't let this bother me. Plus, with all the bad stuff that so many people are going through, this really is such a minor thing.
At least, that's what my head says, but try as I might, my heart is not quite as rational ...

Saw both my girls yesterday with flowers cards and chocolate and a late phone call from my son apologising as he a 4 yr old daughter had been on the sofa all weekend with temperatures and sore throats while his partner had taken her Mum out for a lovely lunch. Just a phone call is good enough for me.

Nanny2859

I usually get several phonecards per day from my daughter. My son messages a few times each week.

Well, that's going to make Nanny feel a whole lot better.

i normally get a message from estranged daughter via face book yesterday nothing means she is in one of her moods of i have done something to annoy her !! as i have not seen her or had a spoken conversation in 13 years what could i have done now, the estrangement was her choice and i spent three years trying to see or speak to her

I think that sometimes we need to be slightly and gently proactive. Could you have rung or texted a week or so ago, and said it’s Mothering Sunday on Sunday, would you (some or all) like to come over for coffee or whatever, and you could then have fitted around your son’s/DiLs special days too? Perhaps suggest a belated Mother’s Day tea at your house later this week?

I saw our DD on Thursday and our DS on Saturday, as both had other plans for Sunday. We swapped cards and flowers then, as DD is also a mum. Her husband took her away for a romantic weekend, plus children, which was lovely.

None of us phoned each other on Sunday, there were a few WhatsApps, inc photos. I actually went on a photography course on Sunday, which was great fun. My husband gave me flowers, yesterday, which was a lovely thought. Best wishes, and hope all goes well next year. ???

Although my son lives a four hour journey away from me (it took nearly six yesterday because of road closures) and is 73 he came to see me yesterday for the day and brought a meal with him.

It was my daughters and grandsons birthday on mother's day, I had helped her out financially towards grandsons birthday, As well as buying presents for both of them. I got a happy mother's day post on Facebook and that was it. Not even a thankyou for their presents

My son took me to a motorsport event in the afternoon, asked me to save him a seat while he went to talk to a friend , and I didn't see him again until it finished!
My brother and a couple of friends were sitting further along the row, but wasn't able to have a conversation with them, so just sat on my own like a lemon!

I live a long way from my family , I got a present from one and flowers from the other through the post.
My DH could never be bothered to buy his mother a card or flowers as she was so off hand with him. I did it for him for years. I then said no more as dear MIL had said she did not want mine or the childrens names in her card as she was not our mother.
She shot herself in the foot,he forgot the next year and she actually phoned the local florist to see where her flowers where as she was going out ,only to be told none had been ordered. Like mother like son.

I'm sad for you too. My poor sis is estranged from three of her children and the other one is too far away to visit. My boys and grandchildren spoilt me all day yesterday, but I still think of mothers not so lucky...

Gosh Bijou, fancy having a son of 73. I am adjusting to having a son in his 40’s.
How lovely that he made the long journey to visit you and bring lunch as well. That’s really thoughtful.

I feel sad for Mothers who have been ‘forgotten’ or just had texts on Mother’s Day. We celebrated as a family. My Daughter with her husband and children initially, then Grandad and I joined them for a lovely afternoon tea. We may be Grandma’s but we are still mothers. My daughter also sent me a text to say that she was thinking about, me because she’s aware that we all still miss my Mum. I think I am truly blessed. If you feel overlooked why not invite your Daughter and Grandchildren to your house for lunch Afternoon Tea next year?

Reading the OP, I remember all the reasons why I don’t “do” Mothering Sunday. I feel it’s emotional blackmail. It’s different when the children are at school and make you a card. Apart from that, no thank you.

All families are different don't take it personally nanny.

I think it is not unreasonable to anticipate a phone call! You have been and still are a very important person in all their lives. I always spoke to my mum and my MIL on Mother’s Day, as well as sending card, gift, flowers. My children were involved too with home made cards etc. I would try my best to get to see them but couldn’t always manage it as we lived over 100 miles from our home town. I loved my mum so much and my dear mum in law. I think of them both especially at this time of year (each sadly passed now) and wish they were around to share this special day with me and my children/grandchildren. Time is short for us all so I would hope your family would realise this and treasure you. (Sorry don’t want to sound morbid-must be my age!)

People put too much importance on these ‘ special days’. The other 364 are just as special in my opinion.