39 years is a long time to be together, Amberheart (& congrats on that), it's not a weekend romance that quickly fizzled out, so you will still be grieving and you do that as long as you want to, my love!
But it really does ease up with time!! I don't think it ever actually goes away, I think we enclose our loved ones deep within our hearts and minds so that they're never far away. And this will happen with you. So give yourself time, try not to feel guilty as it definitely was not your fault that you couldn't be there! If your darling husband had not had Alzheimer's he would have understood, and maybe he did, somewhere deep inside!
Talk to him while you dust or cook. My mum used to say, "Oh heavens, Arthur, you'd have had this done in half the time, even with just the one eye!" And I used to confide in him when my baby was born.
He is still a big part of you. x
Last letters make new words - Series 3
I’m a Pear/Apple - Part 5. Still going!!
