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AIBU

AIBU - Friends have booked same holiday

(112 Posts)
LizzyG Mon 11-Apr-22 13:36:59

A few weeks ago we booked a cruise for this September. We've been on quite a lot previously but this one is on a brand new Virgin ship with what we imagine to be a lot of quirky differences than we've experienced in the past and we are really looking forward to it.
Our friends wanted to know all about it as they are keen cruisers too and they really loved the sound of the ship and the itinerary. I think they were maybe even angling for us to say "come with us" but we didn't as we prefer to holiday just as a couple.
Last night they rang to let us know that they've booked the same ship, the same itinerary and even used our booking as a means of getting a discount to match what we got it for but they're going a month before us.
My husband is really floored by this as he says that he wanted to experience everything for ourselves, good and bad but now they will be keen to tell us all the pros and cons and nothing will be fresh and exciting for us. He feels like they're stealing our thunder.
I'm not as upset as he is as I will say to the friends that we don't want to know all the details so as not to spoil things but he is quite upset by it and it's really taken the shine off the whole booking for him.
He is a bit down with other things at the moment and this seems to have really knocked him for six.
AIBU to think that these friends shouldn't have done what they did?

rosie1959 Mon 11-Apr-22 17:47:16

Little point being annoyed about something you have no control over.
I wouldn't be bothered and my husband certainly would not care he leaves the holiday planning to me. He hasn't got time to worry or be annoyed about the small stuff puts all his energy in getting his work and employees ready for him not being there
I really can't understand how this would spoil the holiday

Pepper59 Mon 11-Apr-22 17:47:35

Im with Calendargirl. I don't think I'd be too chuffed if they used my name without permission to get themselves a discount. It might also be a Data Protection issue if they used your details and you did not know. In future I'd be very guarded about telling them anything.

Hithere Mon 11-Apr-22 17:53:54

OP

Did you know they would use your reservation to save money?

blue25 Mon 11-Apr-22 18:06:43

I really don’t understand why you’re upset. It seems petty. If they’d booked the same dates as you, I’d get it, but who cares if they’re going on another date. Be grateful you don’t have more important things to be stressed about.

Coastpath Mon 11-Apr-22 18:09:22

Perhaps your husbands other problems are making him take this out of proportion. Maybe it would help if you tackled the root cause of those problems.

Forget about your friends and enjoy looking forward to your holiday.

Yammy Mon 11-Apr-22 18:21:17

Go and enjoy your holiday. Keep away from them till you get back and be careful in future what you tell them. Some people have no imagination or ideas of their own . It could be illegal to use your name to get discount and I would not like my name being used without my permission.

Vintagejazz Mon 11-Apr-22 19:37:18

Yes a bit annoying. But some people have no original ideas of their own. Just make it politely clear that you don't want to hear anything in advance about the trip as you want it to be a surprise. In fact, maybe say you'd prefer to meet up after you've both had your holiday so you can compare notes without bring influenced by each other.

Babyshark Mon 11-Apr-22 21:36:10

A bit puzzled by this, it’s a cruise, there will be thousands of people on it before you. Just don’t see them before you go/after they come back.

The reaction from your husband is bizarre.

SpringyChicken Mon 11-Apr-22 22:50:51

I think your husband is being unreasonable. If you'd known what your friends were intending, think how silly it would sound - sorry, you can't go on that holiday until we've been.

Kim19 Tue 12-Apr-22 06:51:39

I think you need to give these 'friends' a bit bit of space if that's the effect their (admittedly a little bizarre and presumptuous) have on you.

Blencathra Tue 12-Apr-22 07:32:21

I read it, thinking with horror that they had booked the same dates. I can’t see the problem. Avoid seeing them for a few weeks before you go if it really bothers him.

Serendipity22 Tue 12-Apr-22 08:08:19

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest, why cant they experience this wonderful new cruise ship and experience for themselves? If everyone thought that way, the cruise ships/holiday destinations would be empty, well not quite but...

I would most certainly not want to hear X, Y and Z about it before you go and you did right telling them that. How i see it is that you must have painted a wonderful picture for them to want to book it, which makes me then think, in the first place, if they are such avid cruise lovers and I sing from the roof tops of how absolutely wonderful the experience would be, am I paving the way for the possibility of them booking the self same thing ! In which case I would keep my gob shut... ( if i didn't want them to experience it, but as I say, it wouldnt bother me in the slightest )

I hope you have a FANNNNNNNTASTIC time, I have been in a few cruises and I know how fabulous they are.

Enjoy smile

MerylStreep Tue 12-Apr-22 08:25:02

I’m trying to picture what a charmed life somebody has lived to then be floored by such an insignificant issue.

Sara1954 Tue 12-Apr-22 08:29:04

Merylstreep
I agree, I imagine many people would gladly tolerate this small inconvenience if they were about to embark on a luxury cruise.

Esspee Tue 12-Apr-22 08:30:19

To me it is a non issue.

MawtheMerrier Tue 12-Apr-22 08:30:48

As you do not have exclusive rights on this cruise, I really think YABU . If “bigging it up” to your friends gave them the idea- well who can you blame but yourselves?
Take comfort in the well known cliché that “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”.

Chewbacca Tue 12-Apr-22 08:35:36

I’m trying to picture what a charmed life somebody has lived to then be floored by such an insignificant issue.

Me too Meryl, me too.

Lucca Tue 12-Apr-22 10:09:20

Very mean minded . So if you praised a restaurant vuoi wouldn’t want them to go to that either? Sometimes I am completely”floored “ by the pettiness of some GN contributors

loopyloo Tue 12-Apr-22 10:21:20

Of course! Cruising is such a status thing. All the way up to luxury yachts. And they have gone oneup by booking earlier.
And people do brag about their cruises.
Be grateful you can go at all.

Callistemon21 Tue 12-Apr-22 10:24:13

Of course! Cruising is such a status thing. All the way up to luxury yachts. And they have gone oneup by booking earlier.

Well, I never knew

winterwhite Tue 12-Apr-22 10:48:48

I can certainly see why you feel that your friends have taken the gilt off your gingerbread. Very bad luck.

And yes, you should surely be the ones getting the voucher? The fact that they didn't tell you about that in advance makes it look as though they realised it was questionable. Or that they are very thick skinned I suppose.

timetogo2016 Tue 12-Apr-22 11:06:30

My thoughts exactly Merylstreep.

Lucca Tue 12-Apr-22 12:21:00

winterwhite

I can certainly see why you feel that your friends have taken the gilt off your gingerbread. Very bad luck.

And yes, you should surely be the ones getting the voucher? The fact that they didn't tell you about that in advance makes it look as though they realised it was questionable. Or that they are very thick skinned I suppose.

Why should their friends go on the cruise ? They aren’t going at the same time ?

So petty.

Stella14 Tue 12-Apr-22 12:26:52

Yes, you are being very unreasonable. This is nothing to miffed about ?‍♀️

GrammyGrammy Tue 12-Apr-22 12:39:24

I know I'm eccentric and think differently to most people. And that is ok. I'm also a committed Christian and thinking about the next life and things of God as well as writing and politics and life and the daily grind. However- I cannot for the life of me imagine anyone choosing to spend their life thinking such a small way as this. You are aware there is a war going on in the Ukraine? Women are being raped and murdered and whole towns destroyed. I think you are not only being unreasonable but that you are wasting your short time here on earth thinking about as unimportant a thing as is possible. Your husband needs to give his head a wobble, bless him. Yes petty and grudging and unreasonable. But more sad than unreasonable. Time to be more outward looking.