Parents deliberately winding up children

But she is so talkative, she said hello lady or hello man to everyone around her and then wanted to chat. Asking what they were eating and drinking or telling them all about her

I'd enjoy that! ?
And be happy to have a chat

Not so sure about a toddler being encouraged to shriek and scream though. Well done the man who spoke up.

I agree about dogs. I stopped eating at a local pub - last visit there were four in close proximity to our table.

It's a gastropub, with restaurant prices (£10+ for a large glass of wine) and all tables and seating are designed for eating - it's not a boozer where it's reasonable for man and his dog to have a pint! The dogs were well-behaved and on leads but a couple were snuffling around and it's not what I want when eating out.

Whether it's children or dogs many people are self-absorbed with little regard for others.

Totally agree with you on this Riverwalk. The days of a man in a flat cap taking his whippet down the pub while he enjoys a quiet pint are long gone!

There are a good many dog-friendly eating places in my area where well behaved dogs are welcome. They are generally much quieter and better behaved than the children.

1summer

We went out for lunch yesterday with daughter SIL and our just 2 years old granddaughter. We had books, stickers and colouring books to keep her amused in her high chair. But she is so talkative, she said hello lady or hello man to everyone around her and then wanted to chat. Asking what they were eating and drinking or telling them all about her. We find it extremely amusing but are aware others don’t. You cant tell a 2 year old to be quiet and trying to distract her doesn’t always work. But we don’t see it as bad behaviour but hoping she learns to be a bit quieter as she gets older.

I would find that cute. Very different from encouraging a child to scream over and over, until another customer has to ask you to stop.

Well I’d have welcomed some ear muffs yesterday afternoon! One dog set the others off.

I'm with GrannyGravy13 on this. Whilst I wouldn't much like the noise, I'd prefer to see a father engaging with his child in a positive way than not engaging at all or engaging negatively. I'd also prefer the child was laughing to grizzling. I also think it depends on the place you are frequenting. If it is a family pub, you are probably being unreasonable, if it is a more sedate sort of place, you aren't.

At some point, we start 'socialising' our children so that they can interact with other people, and become 'civilised'.

Encouraging a child to shriek and scream in an environment where adults are expecting to have a meal and good conversation indicates a lack of maturity on the part of the father.

There are plenty of ways to interact with children - they are very receptive if you give them your attention.

We used to take my then 4-year old to various restaurants and we chatted to him about the food, its preparation - what he liked (or didn't), what he'd like to do when he 'grew up' and, more immediately, what he'd like to do the next day. We talked to him and listened to his replies. Most children will respond to that. If they're very young you might need to entertain them rather than 'chat'... and that can be more problematic. Having said that, when he was 2 we took him for his first pub lunch, and he just sat for the whole 45 or so minutes (we made it a quick visit) with wide eyes and open mouth staring at everything and everyone and watching the waiters come and go... he'd never sat in a room eating with so many people before, and was agog with the novelty of it. And then his eyes closed and he fell asleep, and we left... before he woke up and got 'cranky', which would have been irritating to the other customers.

GrannyGravy13

Vintagejazz

GrannyGravy13

So a Father interacting with his child is wrong, maybe it was a little bit too loud, but I would rather see parent child interaction than all sat with their heads in individual devices.

Why does it have to be either or? I see many parents interacting with their children in restaurants without encouraging such a racket it ruins other customers meals.

If the child was too noisy due to their Father playing with the and when it was pointed out to the Father the situation was resolved, all was fine.

No all was not fine, the father should have had more sense than to do it in the first place lockdown or not.
A place where other people go to eat is not a venue for a display of noisy father parenting. I wonder if he does it at home in the middle of a football match or Rugby on T.V.? Some people, men in particular seem to think they are displaying their superior parenting skills. Though only do it when in public. If you want to be noisy take your children to a noisy venue where there are a lot of other noisy parents.
Why spoil someone else's treat of eating out. As another gran has pointed out they take crayons and games to keep children entertained and if I were honest I would rather see them on an I pad if that works than wandering around getting under waiters' feet or putting on a display of gurning and loud laughter for all.
Why should a member of the public put themselves at risk by telling them to quieten down,the chap might have turned aggressive I think it was very brave of him.

That is a young age to discover how many adults are miserable and boring having forgotten how to be silly and make each other, and especially children, laugh.

The OP said the child was a toddler so could be anything from 1 - 3 years.

The father has obviously got carried away interacting/playing with his child, the moment someone asked him to quieten down he did. End of noise and end of the problem.

VioletSky exactly

No you are well justified in becoming annoyed. Young parents, in my opinion, sometimes don’t understand that young children struggle with modulation. Adults can typically “lose it” momentarily if they, for example, become tearful or very and loudly amused in a public place, etc., but young children cannot always turn it off. His goal was probably to keep the child engaged and amused but as others have noted there are better ways to do that.

VioletSky

That is a young age to discover how many adults are miserable and boring having forgotten how to be silly and make each other, and especially children, laugh.

... there's a time and a place.

"Miserable and boring"? Or maybe after a hard day's work just wanting some peace and quiet and conversation... some might even be parents themselves who've paid someone to look after their own children whilst they have a night out.

There's a time to be "silly" and make people laugh (continuously) - being in a restaurant isn't one of them. The father sounds like one of those men (it's usually men) who go into an Indian restaurant after the pubs have closed and conducts his whole conversation in a loud voice, making 'witty' comments for the consumption of all and sundry, basically, attention-seeking.

The majority of you seemed to have missed the fact that as soon as the father was made aware that he was being overly loud he immediately stopped.

Sorry, i need to add another

Miserable and boring and full of assumptions about others based on a few short sentences from a third party who doesn't know them either..... Lol

I would think it is basic manners to teach your child.
Places we don't run around: restraunts, doctors' surgeries, on buses, etc.

MissAdventure

I would think it is basic manners to teach your child.
Places we don't run around: restraunts, doctors' surgeries, on buses, etc.

The toddler in question was laughing due to her father making funny faces at her.

Running around is a different thing all together especially in a restaurant where staff would be carrying plates of hot food.

What appears to have been overlooked by some respondents GG is that Vintagejazz in her OP asked if she was being unreasonable to have been irritated enough, to have been on the verge of asking a staff member to have a word with the father.

It was the intervention of a fellow diner that prevented her from doing so. The fact that once the father realised the noise was irritating other diners and stopped once this was pointed out is irrelevant.

He shouldn't have been encouraging the child to be so noisy in the first place. There's nothing miserable or boring about those who wish to enjoy a meal out in a relatively peaceful and quiet environment.

Any parent who is not teaching their child appropriate behaviour is certain social settings, isn't doing them any favours.

GrannyGravy13

The OP said the child was a toddler so could be anything from 1 - 3 years.

The father has obviously got carried away interacting/playing with his child, the moment someone asked him to quieten down he did. End of noise and end of the problem.

The fact that someone had to tell a grown man to cut it out and that another table were at the point of asking staff to intervene surely indicates that the father was not behaving appropriately?

I would understand if this were a behaviour issue rather than having fun that got loud and resulted in a told off and embarassed father.

One thing, I learned as a parent, later than I wish, is that you do not get that time back.

Time spent shushing children amd worrying about what the neighbours think because children are loud is time wasted.

Letting a negative comment about a todder tantrum ruin your whole day feeling like a bad parent is time wasted.

Letting the woman who moved chairs so she could more easily glare at me in a restuarant while I breastfed (nothing was visible) ruin my meal is time wasted.

If I see a happy, loud, laughing child, that joy is contagious.

If I see a toddler tantrum, I tell mum she is doing a great job.

If I see a woman breastfeeding, its a thumbs up from me.

Have a meal later in the evening or get a takeway if its been an exhausting day and you want peace.

Quite a large percentage of the popuation are children who deserve their space in the world too. Happy children with parents willing to bring that out seems like a pretty amazing thing to me.

Good point Grannygravy btw

Indeed Vintagejaz and maybe that's because he wasn't taught appropriate behaviour when dining out when he was a child.

VintageJazz perhaps I am just more tolerant.
A father totally immersed with playing with his toddler, stops immediately he is made aware that it is annoying another diner.

What more did you want?

Ah, yes.
Just,seen in the first post that there is nothing about running around.

GrannyGravy13

VintageJazz perhaps I am just more tolerant.
A father totally immersed with playing with his toddler, stops immediately he is made aware that it is annoying another diner.

What more did you want?

Exactly

Hope it didn't spoil his whole evening too