Parents deliberately winding up children

MissAdventure

Ah, yes.
Just,seen in the first post that there is nothing about running around.

VioletSky we have 5 AC and partners along with 8 GC, we have all gone out to eat together.

The GC do not run around, the two 2yr olds are in high chairs, I should imagine the adults are noisier than the GC, it’s absolutely lovely to all be together after two years apart.

There is nothing worse than being in a snobby restaurant where everyone whispers.

GrannyGravy13

VintageJazz perhaps I am just more tolerant.
A father totally immersed with playing with his toddler, stops immediately he is made aware that it is annoying another diner.

What more did you want?

For it not to have got to that point. We tolerated it for about 20 minutes thinking he must surely stop soon. How much more tolerant do you think we andvthe person at the other table should have been? I am not talking about SIMPLY happy laughing. I am talking about shrill screams preceding each bout of laughter.

VintageJazz if it bothered you that much you could have said something to the front of house manager earlier, you could have asked to be seated somewhere else, but no you sat still for twenty minutes until someone else intervened.

GrannyGravy I have 5 too, 2 adults but no grandchildren as yet... One AC is moving in that direction though

I used to worry if they all had 5 I would never remember their names but ive since learned an entire primary school worth so all good there.

I cant wait honestly. No judgement at this (future) nanny's house. Parenting is hard enough.

A pity that the father was so lacking in awareness that he failed to see that the amount of noise being made was unacceptable, and as the OP wasn't the only one irritated by it, it must have been pretty loud.

VioletSky

GrannyGravy I have 5 too, 2 adults but no grandchildren as yet... One AC is moving in that direction though

I used to worry if they all had 5 I would never remember their names but ive since learned an entire primary school worth so all good there.

I cant wait honestly. No judgement at this (future) nanny's house. Parenting is hard enough.

Absolutely parenting is hard, especially with the last two years of lockdown added in.

I suppose people are more child focused now.
Who's to say what's right or wrong?

IMO waiting for 20 minutes to see if things would quiet down shows your level of tolerance Vintagejazz.

There's nothing snobby about not disturbing other diners with excessive noise, just good manners and manners that children need to be set by example.

This thread surely shouldn't be on AIBU if disagreement is not acceptable

GrannyGravy13

VintageJazz if it bothered you that much you could have said something to the front of house manager earlier, you could have asked to be seated somewhere else, but no you sat still for twenty minutes until someone else intervened.

In one post you talk about tolerance, in another you say we should have intervened immediately.
Despite me saying we were about to have a quiet word with staff when someone else told him to pipe down, you accuse us of waiting for someone else to sort the problem.

Well, not sure what to say.

Chestnut

Children should be taught there is a time and a place for being noisy or energetic, and public places is not one of them. When surrounded by other people they should be kept calm and encouraged to sit quietly. Restaurants, public transport, waiting rooms etc. When they are in their garden or the park or at home they can make as much noise as they like.
Sadly this doesn't happen.

Not according to many on here! Children should rarely be heard in their own garden. Others want quiet!

It seems there is no where for children to be children. They should all just be mini adults.

I do not think telling someone to pipe down is acceptable VintageJazz

He was provoke grannygravy. He actually said 'can you cut that out.'

VioletSky

That is a young age to discover how many adults are miserable and boring having forgotten how to be silly and make each other, and especially children, laugh.

Why is it miserable and boring to expect normal behaviour. The child has to learn where behaviour is appropriate some time and they certainly would not get away with it when they start school. Who better to teach them than their parents when they are young? Unless as someone else has pointed out the chap did not know what was appropriate himself.
French and Italian children have always accompanied their parents for meals but they all certainly know how to behave.

Te only person on this thread who was there was Vintagejazz therefore she is the only one who knows how loud and disruptive the father and toddler were being.
Certainly loud enough for another customer not to be able to hear himself think and to be upset too.

playing and interacting with your children is great
I think we all agree on that.

IMO everyone should be what they have to be; but in doing so they should consider other people. Children have to learn to do that, of course - and they won't learn if the adults around them behave as the father Vintagejazz describes.

I used to have a neighbour who would wind up local dogs. If a dog barked, he would bark, if it howled, he howled, and if it whined . . . you get the picture. It was maddening, as it made the dogs worse, but he seemed to find it hilarious. I think people sometimes forget that not everyone sees the world as they do.

GrannyGravy13

So a Father interacting with his child is wrong, maybe it was a little bit too loud, but I would rather see parent child interaction than all sat with their heads in individual devices.

But there is a happy medium surely ?!

I’m not keen on so many dogs in restaurants …even sitting on chairs/benches. I always feel sorry for people (ie paying customers) who ate allergic to dogs or myself in a nice dress sitting where a dog has just sat….

Definitely there is a happy medium Lucca

it was lunchtime so i don't think i'd have even noticed in all honesty and if i want to have a quiet meal i go somewhere that isn't child friendly (i don't btw as nothing bothers me like that tbh)

i have just realised you are now talking about dogs as well

GrannyGravy13

Definitely there is a happy medium Lucca

Yes, I agree.

It might be a 'man' thing.

A male relative of mine used to do this - get the children over-excited, teasing them and encouraging mayhem, and then expecting the womenfolk to quieten them down because he then wanted to watch something on the television.

Anyone can act the clown for their kids, that's easy - they are naturally amused at such antics. Real engagement with them takes a lot more effort.

We lived next to a family where the father would do this early every Sunday morning. At the time I worked away from home three nights a week, so Sunday morning was my quiet lie in time. This and other things made me decide to move.

He sounds like a complete ignorant prat. I wouldn’t have waited 20 minutes before asking him to quieten down.