Lady who likes to shine

What sort of age are these ladies? Is it at all ages or more likely at say, shortly after retirement?

Are they married, never married, or widowed, or a mix?

Is it women who brought up children then get like this once the children are adults, so as to fill the time that has become available?

Why do you ask?

Callistemon21 Thank you. I'm trying to keep my brain going

Yes, it's good to try and give it a good workout

Germanshepherdsmum

Why do you ask?

I wondered if it were because the ladies who have this way of doing things have a lot of time to fill, perhaps always have, or suddenly do because of a change in their circumstances, such as retirement, the commencement of widowhood, or no longer looking after the child or children who are now adults.

Or whether they tend to be the ladies who have a husband, several young children and full time employment who nevertheless somehow manage to run all these thing as well as studying for a part-time degree too.

Self-centred people are probably just born that way. Me, I and myself.

Howverydareyou, congratulations! Your experience of online language use should encourage others needing to limber up their brains after stroke.

While I agree with Madgran's effective democratic advice, I feel more sympathetic with Star Dreamer's empathy with the gifted.

This is a problem in education. Gifted pupils are being held back by the lowest common denominator.

Madgran77

.*..now find this woman doesn't allow anyone else to talk without interrupting and talking about herself and what she does and where she goes*

What to do?

1. The cakes, the gifts, belonging to other groups, social media - do nothing! It's her business!

2. The quote I put above:

Each person in group needs to learn and have confidence to use the following phrases when she interruptsI have named her "Chat" in the quotes)

" Could you hang on please Chat I haven't finished speaking"

"Chat, please wait until I have finished"

"Chat, did you think I'd finished speaking? I havent"

" Hang on Chat, Mary hasn't finished commenting yet"

"Chat I can't hear what Mary is saying, can you hang on please"

"Chat that sounds interesting but Mary is telling us about ...so hang on"

Going on and on about what she does and where she goes:

Give her 5 minutes or so maybe then:

"Sorry to interrupt but Mary, didn't you go to ..... as well? What did you think of it?"

"Anyone else fancy a piece of Chats cake. Mary could you help me bring some over please?"

Alternatively, a quiet word with Chat...about interrupting and how you can help her realise what she is doing as you are sure it is not on purpose .....!!

Excellent advice MadGran and actually, if the discussions are taking place at a Committee meeting the chair could consider stating at the outset. "If anyone wishes to contribute to discussion please raise your hand and please do not interrupt when someone else is talking".

Absolutely right Polly. I don’t know where the idea of being gifted came from - just because she’s good at making cakes? Being gifted doesn’t confer carte blanche to be rude.

Grandmabatty
I agree it will the subject of a problem page next won’t it.

Just a thought— could this lady be, perhaps, insecure and this her way of dealing with it?

PollyDolly wrote
Excellent advice MadGran and actually, if the discussions are taking place at a Committee meeting the chair could consider stating at the outset. "If anyone wishes to contribute to discussion please raise your hand and please do not interrupt when someone else is talking".

Yes, that is a good idea.

If said upfront then the ambience is openly clear at the start, and thus not personal to anyone, rather than being introduced later when it could be regarded as personal and perhaps perceived by someone as he or she being picked on.

I've met a few of these people too.There is always one. It's really difficult to be around. I'm guessing she's very lonely and deeply insecure and when home she may take off the 'successful' mask and feel very sad. She obviously doesn't trust that she will be 'heard' in the 'middle ground' that most of us inhabit, so has to push into the extreme place which guarantees attention.
I think if one was to dig deeper one might find a person in despair .
I think all the options of things to say that have been mentioned are great. I have run groups before and one way of sorting it is to have an egg timer so that each person gets their chance to speak... maybe not appropriate for your group tho!

In a social gatheri g as opposed to a formal meeting, its very difficult to stop someone taking over the conversation. Out group of five ladies of a certain age get fed up of hearing the long lost of chores that one lady insists on regaling us with whenever we meet

That posted too soon - to continue
The minute she arrives its, "I've made the beds, hoovered the house, emptied the dishwasher, put 3 loads of washing through and dome the ironing. I've made a dress for my granddaughter, cleaned the car and had to wash my hair.
I'm exhausted"
In other words What have you lazy lot been doing?
Its infuriating.

Could you say I have eaten 3 Mars bars and watched 5 episodes of vera.

The ones I’ve known haven’t been in the least lonely or insecure, Philippa. They’ve all been superior, bossy, nosey women with husbands and families (poor devils) who have to be the centre of attention at all times, run the show and always think they know best.

I know the type too. They have a sort of cast iron ring of confidence about them and are quite sure that they know best about everything and really should be in charge of any social outing.

I have a couple of friends who are rather deaf and, although they have hearing aids, it's difficult to stop them when they're in full flow. They talk over the top of you, ask questions and don't stop to listen to answers.
I try to answer the question but in the end have to shout.
Or give in.

Perhaps some of these people don't hear well or perhaps they haven't spoken to anyone for days.

Yes I think some people have a need to feel constantly needed and wanted and they have to be doing things all day, every day. They do get things done quickly, though, I have to say but they certainly make you aware of their gifts.

Galaxy

Could you say I have eaten 3 Mars bars and watched 5 episodes of vera.

?

Caleo Thank you. I do crosswords, wordsearches, etc.

ExDancer A friend of mine does that - even when I've had a busy day, her day has to have been busier. She texted me today, told me all the things she'd done, then asked what I've been doing. replied "very little"

There's even a one upmanship in illnesses too. No matter what been wrong with you they have to have been much worse.