Food bank rollercoaster. Huge empathy to Fury!! Is it just me?

Growstuff what a complete lack of empathy.

I’m not actually that fussed, I was just joining in the conversation.

I shall not waste time responding to you again

I read growstuff’s comments as just practical ones, nothing to do with lack of empathy.

Anyone who buys from charity shops is helping the business of the charity, rich poor or any shade inbetween.

Some Foodbanks can have a self referral system, this is completely at the discretion of those who set it up. Trussel Trust Foodbanks have a referral system, vouchers issued by GP, school, CAB etc.,

While I can understand the OP's irritation at the few who manipulate the kindness of others, I am very uncomfortable with phrases such as
there’s the mums who request really expensive formula and nappies to feed children they cannot afford whilst becoming pregnant with more children they cannot afford and

Then there are those who obtain food so that they can buy illegal drugs with their money

I shall continue to volunteer at my TT Foodbank while some of you carry on with your comments on the deserving and undeserving poor.

I have once had to use a food bank, in the days where you were referred etc, the people there were lovely, and I would probably be entitled to use one again, but because of my dietary requirements and the fact that I can't stand and cook requirements, I've never been back as doubt I could get something I would want to eat.

It's not right that people are asking for particular deodorants with special fragrances at all, they may 'prefer' that one, but for most any will do! As for ground coffee, that's downright ridiculous, who would even donate that?

*FannyCornforth - charity shops have become much more informed as to what is worth what nowadays, and some are downright expensive! Sadly most clothes in them won't fit me as I am effectively 8 months pregnant!

Opposite my daughter is a family that now has 12 children, the parents do NOTHING with the kids, nor work, it's up to the older kids to look after the smaller ones. Two of the eldest are really nice though, heaven knows how, and are desperately trying to escape it. Thank goodness you only get Child Benefit for 2 now, but hasn't made any difference to this lot. It's these sort of people that need stopping rather than group the sick and disabled in with them, which the Govt is currently doing ....

If it was me I would re-assess my volunteering role and see if there was anything better suited to my needs. Volunteering is a two way process and feeling furious about the users is not the best use of your time. I am sure that you mean well but your anger will not help those around you at the food bank. So yes it is just you.

*WhyWhyWhyohWhy
As a family of 4 who can rarely afford to buy fresh fish and meat ourselves but tries to be altruistic*

OP, if it annoys you so much, why don't you quit volunteering and use the time you spend volunteering working part time at a supermarket so that you can buy fresh fish and meat for your family.

Don’t quite understand this need to be altruistic when you are struggling financially yourself.

FannyCornforth

Calipso , I wish I hadn’t posted that now!
I probably have a shopping disorder as it’s one of the few things I have any control over, and I can’t easily get a sense of self of self worth.

Anyway, this thread isn’t about me, so just pretend I haven’t said owt

Aww Fanny, need a hug?
Lets have some 🍰🧁

Sticking my head above the parapet. As a committed Christian I find my faith helps me a lot in situations such as these. I believe in what goes around comes around, good or bad. It isn't for me to judge the rights and wrongs of human nature, we're all flawed. I just expect to be judged on my own performance when I hopefully go to glory. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated and others have to be guided by their own consciences as I'm free to do.

I reckon we're in a similar family situation to OP, not rich financially, We are rich in many other ways though.
I volunteer at a food bank where the dignity of the users is very much at the fore of what we do, it takes some people a lot to reach out for help, I wouldn't feel comfortable asking for help as I much prefer to give than receive, it sounds like OP wouldn't either but we all need a leg up sometimes. I remember a time when I got ripped off for a lot of money because of an internet scam, I warned quite a lot of people about falling foul of the same scam, within a week someone anonymously posted cash through my door. I have never found out who felt lead to provide that gift but boy was it welcome.
I've felt lead to pay it forward several times by say identifying those in shops who are totting up their shopping compared to the cash they hold and just handing over a fiver with a "hope that helps" before walking off, or even paying some off a persons bill just for the heck of it if I can afford it. Good deeds always come back.
I applaud and encourage the volunteer work that you do OP, I hope you know that you are in fact teaching those you serve about kindness and compassion. Your actions tell me that you care enough to freely use your gifts and talents to help those less fortunate than yourself, your frustrations are for the injustices that you see and that is a perfectly natural human reaction. Keep up the great work serving the community with it's warts and all, and be proud to care as you do for them left behind. It's volunteers and ordinary folk who are the backbone workers of the world with their good hearts trying to cut through in this case neighbours who live in food insecurity. God bless.

and Fanny? Wish we could.

NannaandPea that's a lovely post and thanks for sharing your perspective. I have a friend who always said "You can't outgive God" Whatever you give to life, he will give more.

maddyone I like your bun better than mine. Can we swap?

Oooh, yours look good too Calipso.

growstuff

Overthemoongran

It may well be a treat or a ‘boost’ but it was still galling to overhear a volunteer at a food bank being asked to load up one lady’s bag for her because she had “just had her nails done”.

I don't understand this. Why shouldn't somebody who buys in a charity shop be able to have her nails done?

I think Overthemoongran said receiving food from a food bank, not shopping in a charity shop. There's a big difference between the two.

growstuff

Overthemoongran

It may well be a treat or a ‘boost’ but it was still galling to overhear a volunteer at a food bank being asked to load up one lady’s bag for her because she had “just had her nails done”.

I don't understand this. Why shouldn't somebody who buys in a charity shop be able to have her nails done?

Nobody has said that. I mentioned women getting food from foodbanks but then spending £40 getting their nails done.

Not sure who brought up the matter of charity shops when we are discussing food banks.

Calipso
You’re absolutely correct, we are not a service. We are there to raise money. We put a price on goods, we are happy with our decision. We don’t care who buys it.
I will be performing a service tomorrow. Someone bought a complete 12 piece dinner/ tea service. No transport 😱

MerylStreep

Calipso
You’re absolutely correct, we are not a service. We are there to raise money. We put a price on goods, we are happy with our decision. We don’t care who buys it.
I will be performing a service tomorrow. Someone bought a complete 12 piece dinner/ tea service. No transport 😱

As someone else said It's volunteers and ordinary folk who are the backbone workers of the world
Well done MerylStreep and all other volunteers

FannyCornforth

Growstuff what a complete lack of empathy.

I’m not actually that fussed, I was just joining in the conversation.

I shall not waste time responding to you again

That's your decision!

Why a lack of empathy? Sorry, but I don't get your problem. You have items which are of no use or value to you. If you're not in a position to sell them or give them away to somebody you know, the charity shop is doing you a service.

Oreo

I read growstuff’s comments as just practical ones, nothing to do with lack of empathy.

Thank you!

As it so happens, I'm in the process of getting rid of loads of "stuff", so I have some experience of how to dispose of it.

Callistemon21

growstuff

Overthemoongran

It may well be a treat or a ‘boost’ but it was still galling to overhear a volunteer at a food bank being asked to load up one lady’s bag for her because she had “just had her nails done”.

I don't understand this. Why shouldn't somebody who buys in a charity shop be able to have her nails done?

I think Overthemoongran said receiving food from a food bank, not shopping in a charity shop. There's a big difference between the two.

Ah OK! My misunderstanding. Apologies.

👍

I think it's probably wise to have a referral system but with leeway when experienced volunteers recognise emergency needs.
Simply because it means we can serve those in serious need the best.

Im just wondering how someone who is not very mobile and does not drive gets "referred" to a food bank. Many older or disabled people avoid social services like the plague and may not always be hopping around to the doctors for a whinge. Also people like this may not be capable of standing in a long queue outside a foodbank on a cold day.

biglouis

Im just wondering how someone who is not very mobile and does not drive gets "referred" to a food bank. Many older or disabled people avoid social services like the plague and may not always be hopping around to the doctors for a whinge. Also people like this may not be capable of standing in a long queue outside a foodbank on a cold day.

I know that my local foodbank (to which people have to be referred, so it's not a "turn up and grab") does deliveries to people out in the sticks and/or with mobility problems.

People not applying for benefits to which they're entitled is a wider issue. It's not really surprising there's a stigma when people like you have that kind of attitude.

PS. I have never in my life hopped round to my GP for a "whinge". When I manage to get an appointment, it's because I'm ill and need something beyond self-diagnosis and self-medication.

Thanks Calipso and Maddy
I had an upsetting appointment with a surgeon yesterday, so your kindness is much appreciated.

And thanks to Meryl and all the volunteers too.

I used to love charity shops in the 80’s, I used to hunt out dresses from the 50s and 60s.

The Birmingham Flea Market was the absolute best, I’d go every Saturday.
But towards the end of the 80s there was a proliferation of specialist vintage shops, and they creamed off the best stuff.

On a more unpleasant note, I once caught scabies due to my fondness of second hand stuff.
My parents and I had to quarantine for a week, and paint ourselves blue.
They must have been absolutely thrilled.
Happy days!