DIL insults our heritage

I hate that phrase , its offensive and disgusting

Tell her her lack of education is shining bright!! She is crass rude and ignorant

If she says it again when anyone else is present, then remark to them “that sounds rather rude doesn’t it?” Leave your son out of this as he might back his wife (who will say it is a joke) and then you will be truly hurt.

She sounds like what we would call a bogan. Can’t reason with them, they are ignorant . Often proud with it.

Choose a time when your son and GS have heard her refer to your home town in an insulting manner and say,in a very calm and polite way.

"I do hope you realise that you are not only insulting me, but also your husband and /son's father, who was born and brought up in ..'said town'. He seems to have turned out all right."
Then leave the room , giving her no chance of responding.

Grannypalmtree I agree that her remarks are unkind and unnecessary but you don't seem to hold your DIL in very high esteem. Calling her unkempt and uneducated is just as disparaging.

Quite honestly, if she were my DIL I would long since have said, when she makes these comments, "You may think you are being funny, but I find your comments hurtful and rude, so will you please stop making them?"

I don't know whether she does think she is being funny, or if she genuinely believes that people from the south of England are better than those from the north of England or from all of Scotland. I left the UK in 1975 and had imagined that these kinds of comments had long since stopped being made, so I was quite shocked by your post.

There is no need to bring your son into this - either he has long since accepted his wife's views, or he doesn't take them seriously at all, but they annoy you.

This is what you need to deal with, either by refusing to be riled by them, or by telling your DIL who sounds unbearable rude to stop this behaviour.

I had a lot of this from my husband’s family when I first met them. They seemed to think ‘Northerners’ were a separate breed! I didn’t make a big issue of it, all that mattered to me was what my boyfriend thought of me!

TBH, I don’t think being rude about Somerset will make them be more polite about your birthplace! Their rudeness certainly hasn’t made you feel very positive!

Little cow - what does your D’s see in her and he should comment to her about her rudeness !!!
Terrible

Buttonjugs

My parents came from up North and moved the family down South when I was little. I suppose I am quite well spoken but would love to have a Northern accent! Don’t people from Somerset talk like pirates? I have a brother who mocks our Northern relatives on Facebook and it makes me cringe. I think he is secretly jealous that he never got to be a Northerner! I don’t understand what there is to mock, to be honest. It must be nice to be a perfect Somersetion if that’s even a word! Incidentally I am proud of all my ancestors who worked in cotton mills and mines. They were the life blood of the country.

Yes - it is very oooh-ahhhh! My daughter lived in Zummerzet for a few years and came home with a bit of it (she being brought up a southerner but with Yorkshire phrases, and her dad being a sort of posh mid-lander, Royal Leamington Spa ) and we had a laugh about it.

I am obviously from Gods Own County, but haven't lived there since 1980 when I went to Uni etc ... I have since lived in Cheltenham (they were a bit uppity), Northamptonshire, Leicestershire, Fife, West Berkshire, and now Wiltshire .... I think if I could go back anywhere, it would be Yorkshire (although not my hometown, but a bit more in the sticks) or further north and Scotland! The Scots were VERY accepting of me, were extremely friendly - in fact, when I first moved there, I thought it very odd that when passing people in the street, they ALWAYS spoke. Initially I used to look back to see if I was being followed, but it some became the norm and I liked it, a lot! Wiltshire isn't really that friendly - lived in a lovely pretty village for nearly 16 years, people spoke to pass the time of day and I had lots of acquaintances, but apart from the few friends I had there, the only person to knock on my door was someone wanting the ambulance that was outside for me, asking to bl**dy move it! I've since had to move into the town as I needed more support off my daughter. I have been here 18 months, and I've spoken to one lady next door over the fence, and that's about it! It's very lonely ...

You say you are better educated than she is, so she probably feels under threat. That's where bullying comes from. Change the subject to education, ask her about hers, turning the tables. Just another idea but the What do you mean suggestion best idea so far.

There are people like this everywhere. They are not worth the air they breath with, In fact they pollute it.
For what its worth I did some ancestry tracing and found that I come from England Wales Scotland and north and south Ireland and almost every county in England.

Whats posh and whats not posh is a matter of opinion but personally I think anybody who feels the need to point out how posh they are...ain`t!

Callistemon21

Anniebach

The O/P opinion of her daughter in law shows the dislike is both sides

There's no love lost, is there!

That’s the conclusion I was coming too.

So much outrage at the uncouth woman’s behaviour by those who then go on to disparage all Southerners in the same post.

Really no better than your DIL and very bigoted.

She seems to have quite serious issues and a need to attack others verbally. Next time, look her in the eye and say “Did you intend to be so rude? I found your comment really hurtful.” If she says it was a joke then, as others have said, tell her you don’t understand and could she explain.

Seems so strange to me as none of us can control our place of birth and all areas have their pros and cons. There’s breathtaking scenery all over the British Isles and some pretty grim places as well.

One of my SIL’s used to make unnecessary and unpleasant comments about southerners, but hasn’t done so recently. My daughter has probably told him how ignorant it sounded. He has matured and realised how bigoted he was. Our extended families have always been warm and welcoming to him so no reason for his past abuse.

Stillstanding

There are people like this everywhere. They are not worth the air they breath with, In fact they pollute it.
For what its worth I did some ancestry tracing and found that I come from England Wales Scotland and north and south Ireland and almost every county in England.

Whats posh and whats not posh is a matter of opinion but personally I think anybody who feels the need to point out how posh they are...ain`t!

pollute the air, very good ,one to remember

Obviously doesn't think much of her husband either! Snob comes to mind. You are correct when you say she isn't well educated or chooses to appear so. Think I'd be very sorely tempted to call her out on what she thinks of her husband, he having the same heritage and the father of her child. She obviously doesn't have good taste! Hope you appreciate I do not direct my remarks at you and your family. Just horrid behaviour and attitude.

She sounds as if she's all too well aware of her lack of class and education and it bluffing her way into trying to make herself feel equal/superior. Feel a bit sorry for her, to be honest, even though she's behaving badly!

It sounds like to me she’s trying to pick a fight with you for whatever reason! Don’t fall for it!
As hard as it is, pick the high road! Water seeks its own level! Don’t go down to hers! If you do, then she’s proven what she’s been saying! You’re too wise for that! 😜

I'm from the North East of England and I would say, as many would agree, that people from the North are the most friendliest and kindest, down to earth people you will ever meet. I would tell your daughter in law she is a rude, horrible person and wants to shut up! Ignore her after that. Take care x

I would say she is jealous of your sons up bringing,obviously he comes from a normal family,she maybe had an unhappy childhood.Ignore the jibes & as your grandchildren get older you can show them pictures of the beautiful scenery & explain different parts of the country & the warmth of people & how lucky to live in the UK.Sometimes it takes years to breakdown the barriers,good luck.

The fact that she smokes means she is an idiot. Especially if she has kids. Put her in her place, politely, stating the facts, that up north is very beautiful, apart from some areas , ruined by being knocked down and mass ghettoisation of some parts, smoking threatens her health and others due to the effects of having to breathe her smoke, and the cost...

Sorry that grin was meant to be a reply toMy poo don’t stink 🤣

I'm afraid I'm one of those that will call this behaviour out straight away.I have both Scottish and English children and grandchildren. My English family love the fact they have Scottish heritage but I called out a couple of my Scottish family when they made derogatory remarks against their English relatives.. It stopped immediately. It's disrespectful and we are all family so it is totally wrong to disrespect each others heritage and I wouldn't let it pass down from children to grandchildren which it hasn't.

No you are not being unreasonable at all, she is a nasty piece of work. Why can't your son be a man and stand up to her and put her right. He is the man she chose to marry and the child you raised, who the hell does she think she is educated, middle-class but she's clearly no lady.

Kill her with kindness.

Next time she makes a rude remark look sympathetic and say "Oh you poor darling". She will ask why . Just keep saying it with the occasional tut,and if nearby lay a hand gently on her shoulder then, if possible, walk away. I would do this every time she is rude. Never complain; never explain!