DIL insults our heritage

I also think she is insecure, but I would try to change her behaviour by asking if she has ever visited the North or why she thinks it’s such a dreadful place. Ask DS if all is well and why she says those things. She sounds awful but your son married her and she’s the mother of DGS. I actually feel a bit sorry for her.

A wise woman who was going through the agony of her daughter in law trying to alienate her husband and grandchildren from their paternal grandmother, said to my friend (her sister), "I will not rise to the bait, I love my son and I know she is trying to destroy his relationship with me. In these situations The mother never wins." Maybe this is exactly the game this young woman is playing?

Think I would “ politely “ tell her that although I may live in the **hole end of the country, I grew up with manners and respect for others, something she clearly does not have.

It’s not insulting your heritage, it’s bloody rude and I would tell her so.

Or the Paddngton Bear Stare combined with:
"Realky?" "Really?" "Really?" in a certain tone of voice.

Really? not Realky?!

Primrose53

Next time she says it say “well at least we know what good manners are up there.”

I wouldn’t be able to resist I’m afraid.She sounds a right snob.
My friend has a good expression for people like her “she thinks her s**t don’t stink.” 🤣🤣

I think she sounds like a chav. So let's just know her by snobby chav, or chavvy snob! 🤣
I'd definitely say something back.
I'm a Geordie myself but I live in the south east and people do tend to take the p!ss somewhat. To be fair, though, it's the same for southerners going up north!!
I'm used to it but it can be hurtful, especially coming from those who are meant to be family. And her telling her son shows no respect for her MiL!!
As for lower class, tacky and uneducated, well she's just describing herself, & I'd be sure to let her know that!

I'm from the South West and my husband is from the North West, we moved up there due to work after we were married.
My mother in law took great delight in making fun of me if I didn't know some of the local words or phrases.
She used to pride herself in that people around there 'spoke their minds', but if I ever voiced an opinion, it was as if I had done something terrible.
Over the years it caused me a great deal of anguish and pain to be judged, not as a person, but as someone from a particular part of the country.
I have worked all over the country found that you just cannot make generalisations about people or regions. There are both prejudiced and broad minded people everywhere. What I really don't like however, is using someone's place of birth as an excuse to hurt them and call them out as someone 'different'.

If you haven't told her it upsets you maybe she thinks it is funny and says things for comic effect.

I am surprised your son has not said anything to her unless he doesn't mind and finds it funny too.

Just can't see how anyone telling their child in front of the child's GM that their GP's come from a shit hole would think it's funny.

I would definitely pick her up on it. The issue here is that she's not only bullying you and your son, but your grandchildren so if you take a strict line as I do where child safeguarding is concerned, you'll tell her not to fill your grandchildren's minds with the idea that somehow they're descended from worthless people. Your dil is responsible for instilling ideas about family rivalry - very immoral.