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AIBU

Trans Teacher

(1000 Posts)
TheHappyGardener Sat 09-Sep-23 23:58:36

My friend’s grandchild has just gone in to Year 4 (so aged 8-9) and her teacher is a man, who identifies as a Mr, but who chooses to wear a skirt to work. I’m all for informed sexual education but at the appropriate time (ie secondary school) - Should his personal sexuality choices be given free rein at primary school age? I think young children should be allowed to be ‘children’, and not have adults flaunting their sexual choices on them. Did we, at primary school, ever have to know or worry about our teachers’ private lives? There’s a time and a place … what he does outside of his working hours is entirely up to him but surely this is not appropriate in a primary school setting?

Hithere Sun 10-Sep-23 00:56:26

Here we go!

Hithere Sun 10-Sep-23 01:03:34

The school has to have rules for teachers to follow - this teacher is not being called out by management
Clothing is just clothing- skirts are worn in other cultures by men

Lets not get constricted with social assumptions

Biscuitmuncher Sun 10-Sep-23 04:21:36

Yes skirts are worn in other cultures by men. But this isn't one of them, this sounds like someone getting their kicks by trans dressing

BlueBelle Sun 10-Sep-23 05:47:09

Why shouldn’t we discuss this Hithere?
No I don’t think it’s appropriate in a school The children have to adhere to strict uniform rules in schools and I believe the teachers should set an example. Why should he be able to flaunt the rules for his own personal wants? Would it be appropriate or allowed for a female teacher to wear a bra top and a skimpy skirt Where do we draw a line shall we have policemen in skirts ?
What the teacher does in his personal life is of no business to anyone just like the female teacher who can go out in her bra and skimpy skirt outside of school time

I think it’s an interesting discussion to have

Allsorts Sun 10-Sep-23 06:12:39

Of course it's not appropriate , he gets his kicks in front of a class full of youngsters, I would not want my children at such a school but what alternatives are there? The school it totally at fault and it shows you their warped values. Doesn't bode well. What he does in his private life is up to him. I really think the worlds gone mad putting up with the views of these blinkered people. The only alternative I can think of us that no doubt the rest of parents feel the same and withdraw the children,until they get a teacher who is actually focused on teaching and not playing out his fantasies, this teacher X an then pursue a more appropriate career.

Attlee Sun 10-Sep-23 07:34:27

So my question would be, is this guy a good teacher?
If he is, then what he chooses to wear is neither here nor there and I don't think the children will be worried about his 'private' life.
Personally, I think it's ok for people to wear what they like.

Ashcombe Sun 10-Sep-23 07:43:18

I wonder what this chap wears when he teaches P.E?
I imagine that the parents are more concerned about this than the children, who tend to be more tolerant. They would be more concerned about being treated fairly by any teacher and if he was good at the job.

Would it be newsworthy if he were wearing a kilt?

Jackiest Sun 10-Sep-23 08:02:35

There was a time when a women wearing trousers would cause a stir but now it is quite normal. Sometimes a skirt is more comfortable and sometimes trousers. Men should also be allowed the choice of being able to wear what they find most comfortable.

Visgir1 Sun 10-Sep-23 08:32:44

Surly this has gone past the Schools Management/PTA and he's not breaking rules.
Have the schools parents kicked up a fuss? If he /she is a good teacher and the children like that Teacher.
They will accept it, this is going to be acceptable for the generation going through the Schools system now.

Fleurpepper Sun 10-Sep-23 08:38:44

Not sure how I feel about this. We just don't know enough.

But the comment 'he gets his kicks in front of chidlren' seems all wrong to me.

I wrote before about a friend who went through full transition from male to female. Hormonal then surgical. Wearing more feminine clothes and a bit of discreet make up as the process went along- then returned to work after surgical transition during the summer holidays, as a woman. Parents were informed by the school and education authorities, by letter- and expected many complaints. There were none. But that was at secondary/6th Form. Thinking about this case, this was NOT about 'getting his kicks in front of children'.

But having said that, this case does give me concerns.

Dickens Sun 10-Sep-23 08:39:05

I can understand parents' concerns but, in principle, he's just a "Mr" who wears a skirt. Unconventional - but again, in principle, how is that different from "Miss" who wears trousers?

What matters (IMO) is whether he's using the opportunity to promote his own agenda (if he has one). If he is solely focused on his job as a teacher then maybe it has to be accepted that 'traditions' change... as they did when women started wearing trousers to work.

Perhaps, also, it depends on what type of skirt he's wearing? If it's a 'sober' 'uniform' type of skirt, it would be perfectly acceptable (again, IMO). If, on the other hand, the skirt is of the more flamboyant "PRIDE" type of dress - then maybe that is not appropriate, considering that children are usually kept to a strict uniform regime themselves.

Hithere Here we go

Is there any reason why this shouldn't be a topic for debate?

If Mr was wearing a skirt in his private life I can see why it might be questionable to raise the point, but children's education is everyone's concern.

FarNorth Sun 10-Sep-23 08:56:48

Is this teacher 'trans'? It doesn't seem he claims to be a woman, or no sex at all.

I agree with all the points made by Dickens.

What should actually be of concern is the fact that schoolchildren, in most UK schools, are being taught that it's perfectly fine for them to choose to be the opposite sex from reality or to believe they are no sex at all or can change around as they wish - all based on preferences of toys, clothes etc.

This leads to children arriving at puberty believing that they can't bear to go through it as their genuine sex so they must alter their bodies with hormones or/and surgery.

Franbern Sun 10-Sep-23 08:56:58

Why on earth are people so concerned at what a teacher is wearing? As long as it is not too revealing, or specifically flamboant, then I really cannot see how it effects their abilities as a teacher.

Some time back there was the battle as to whether boys in secondary schools could also be permitted to wear the uniform skirts (as opposed to trousers) if they wished. Surely this is just an extension of that.

I really do not understand that this man is
'getting off' by wearing clothes in which he feels comfortable, any more than a female teacher wuld be 'getting off; when wearing trousers to work.

Wonder how many of the females joining in with this and other threads on here wear trousers???

Does not sound as if this teacher is Trans (he identifies as Mr), by what is known as a coss dresser. Not that it makes any difference whatsover to his abilities as a teacher. In a time when our schools have been allowed by government to collapse over the heads of the children, and they have also cut back on salaries earned by hard working teachers and support staff, etc. etc. Surely it really does not matter what a good teacher wears, just that they are a willing and
good teacher.

Sparklefizz Sun 10-Sep-23 09:01:04

I hope he is not rolling his skirt over at the waistband to make it into a pelmet grin

TheHappyGardener Sun 10-Sep-23 09:19:04

Sparklefizz that made me lol 😂

I think the point Bluebelle makes is very valid though in amongst all the ‘he should be allowed to wear whatever he wants if he’s a good teacher’ arguments - a ‘good’ female teacher would (hopefully!) be pulled up by school management if she wore skimpy clothing to work, so is this a case of them not taking action here to prevent any possible sexual discrimination/inequality labelling?? IMO the teacher is being unprofessional and if I was a parent I’d vote with my feet …..

FarNorth Sun 10-Sep-23 09:26:20

Gardener are his skirts "skimpy"?
That's a different matter and of course he shouldn't be wearing those.

Urmstongran Sun 10-Sep-23 09:35:39

I don’t think we can stuff this particular genie back into the bottle now. We’ve gone too far in ‘acceptance’ (Goodbye Mr Chips) and more will follow. I don’t like it but again it seems I’ll be in the minority on GN. It seems to be my role these days.

Nicenanny3 Sun 10-Sep-23 09:35:58

09:01Sparklefizz
*I hope he is not rolling his skirt over at the waistband to make it into a pelmet*grin

I wonder if he's got hairy legs, let's hope he doesn't man spread when he sits down lol, I wonder what he's wearing underneath his skirt 🤔 the mind boggles. Years ago he would be called a dirty old/young man seems anything goes now 😊

Franbern Sun 10-Sep-23 09:40:41

Seems a rather 'strnge mind to wonder what underwear someone is wearing!!!

eazybee Sun 10-Sep-23 09:41:52

I would be concerned. It strikes me as being unprofessional, if he is using it to draw attention to his sexual preferences at school; he could easily wear trousers for work.

Guidance is needed on trans issues in schools, but the spineless Sunak has refused to issue the promised guidance for staff and they are at the mercy of trans activists.

Katek Sun 10-Sep-23 09:42:30

......and if it were a kilt?

Parsley3 Sun 10-Sep-23 09:45:24

I watched the last night of the Proms yesterday and one of the people in the women's section of the choir was dressed in a suit like the men. Gender fluidity is with us and 10 years from now it will no longer attract a comment, imo.

Nicenanny3 Sun 10-Sep-23 09:47:28

09:40Franbern

Seems a rather 'strnge mind to wonder what underwear someone is wearing!!

I was having a bit of fun obviously lighten up. Seems more strange to me perhaps not to you that a grown man and a teacher is going to school wearing a skirt 😉

25Avalon Sun 10-Sep-23 09:51:20

Tricky. If he was in Scotland and a kilt no problem. If he identifies as he and is not using makeup and dressing like a drag queen I don’t think I would personally be too bothered unless he is what we used to call weird in some other way.

How do we know he is a cross dresser? Why doesn’t somebody ask him or the head teacher the simple question why? Perhaps in this hot weather he finds it cooler. Maybe he will switch to trousers in the winter.

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